I've put off going to the Gynie for 3 years now because frankly it terrifies the living daylights out of me. I finally caved in and made an appointment for this morning with a gynie who has been highly recommended by numerous female friends. I didn't sleep a wink last night I was so nervous. My last doctor really made me feel judged and I didn't want to face that again. Meeting this new doctor this morning, I was on the verge of bursting into tears! Was I surprised when she started the exam and all my worries just melted away! I felt comfortable, cared about and so at ease with this amazing woman who chatted to me, was gentle and not once made me feel self conscious. After a year of reading your blog Lissa I finally found the perfect female doctor! Don't lose hope ladies there are still amazing Gynie's out there, not just on a blog :D

You amaze me...thanks for your bold true-to-self honesty!

What a sweet thing to say! But trust me- I haven't taken care of a male patient for 18 years! You really don't want me as your doctor! But I so appreciate the sentiment.

What I do see evolving is some sort of training for doctors. So maybe I can help you that way...
xoxo
Lissa

If there's a better phrase for The New Medicine, help me craft it, because you're right. Part of it is going back to the way things used to be and incorporating it with the technological advances of the past century.

And it's so funny you said collaboration! I'm writing a post as we speak about how collaboration between providers trumps competition any ol' day.

And yes! This agreement instead (or in addition to) a birth plan- YES! YES! YES! Do it love!

is really very old medicine, practiced with compassions and wisdom and trust. The operative (sorry...) word here, Lissa, is COLLABORATION! It is the essential platform in EVERY relationship. In my work with expectant and newborn parents, we look at this collaboration right from the beginning - How do you assemble your "team"? What are your instincts saying around what YOU need to feel safe and secure, no matter what that looks like! It is the same principle no matter the context - YOU are your own best expert!

How about your New Medicine Agreement in lieu of the "Bith Plan"? Now we're talking...

Lisa Gould Rubin
The Good Birth Company

this is your calling. thank you for your courage to follow the calling.

it gives me hope for the future of medicine.

the feeling i had reading this is what i call an inside smile. you know that feeling when you heart smiles?

hugs and kisses oxoxo

I'm extremely thankful that for the most part I've been able to find practitioners like this. In fact, I'm going to send this to Dr. Jeff Mueller, yes the one that lived down the street, who is one of this kind, but would probably benefit from hearing this. The frustrating thing for me is that often I've had to go outside the system such as my nutritionist who TOTALLY ROCKS, but isn't covered by insurance.

You just keep following that Divine Inspiration that is leading you on this merry trip. God has BIG plans for you girl! I'm so proud to have known you, to have reconnected with you and to help spread your message...I suspect I've sold a few copies of your "What's Up Down There" book. Really am impressed with you and all that you are trying to do...if that counts for anything LOL!

Keep up the amazing work!
Love ya,
Kit

That you sent this to your doctor- and that Jen responded the way she did- just got me totally misty.

Know why? It gives me hope. I had almost lost it...

All it takes is a small tribe of remarkable people who stand for what we know is right- and then the others will be forced to listen...

Thank you for that gift.

Lissa -

(I am responding anonymously at this point because I am still in the middle of battling an insurance company and trying to get the necessary treatment to heal.)

How courageous you are. And how much this country (US) needs your insight and courage. I am dealing with an injury which occurred many months ago, and have been treated poorly (that is the nicest I can be) by every medical professional, with the exception of one, that I have encountered. I find many so-called "health care providers" do not even know the definition of listening. I have experienced more than once the "hand on the door knob" approach.

I truly hope that you can create a revolution with this. I will send this to all of the medical professionals I encountered when I have completed this "battle". (I hesitate to do this now, as I am still seeking help.)

I would like to add that the people in the doctors' offices also need to receive this manifesto. I have often encountered extremely rude and seemingly uncaring receptionists and nurses in offices, as well.

Thank you for this approach - I hope that it will take hold and provide us with an environment that feels safe, secure, and as though we are humans, not merely numbers or pieces of anatomy.

Dear Sarah,
I absolutely wrote this for other professions. In fact, in my upcoming book- which is based on these ideas- I list out all the other professionals I think it will help. I decided to start with the doctors because, in my opinion, they're the ones most in need of healing the relationship...

But yes, please- hold this vision with me and let's apply it together!

Truly lovely Lissa. I have sent this on to my favorite Dr (other than you that is). I think she will be thrilled that you have put into words that which she also puts into practice. I will let you know what she says, or maybe, she'll post her own comments. In any event, well done and thank you for such an eloquently simple, no bull way of practicing medicine. It is so refreshing.

This is awesome and want to use it in some way with my patients/clients evern if for inspiration to start off. There is a large movement within occupational therapy, as represented in literature- especially in journals from Canada and Australia, for this type of healthcare server-client relationship that you may find supportive. Some key words are client-centered practice, decision-making power of the client, therapeutic use of self, a justice of difference, and political activities of daily living. We talk a lot in our courses about the traditional relationship of therapist as expert-client as passive recipient turning into a partnership between the two where there is a tranformative relationship rather than beaurcratic. And even about how the relationship between healthcare workers is like that, doctor=final determiner of healing process over nurses or therapists. As an occupational therapist I'll throw my two cents in and say don't forget the other professions, though I know your spirit of collaboration lends itself to reach out. Congratulations and thank you for your courage and for sharing this wonderful piece. I struggle everyday to incorporate the client-centered practice I learned about in school into my work, and I find this encouraging and inspirational. It definitely takes a visionary and many people acting on that vision to lead healthcare in the most healing direction!

The thing that resonated most with me was the doctor's response because it was my response reading it...amazing and beautiful but could I do it?!

Then I tell the Gremlin to go back to his corner and I realize that this is exactly what we need. And its going to be difficult and tough to replace our current thought patterns, habits, and initial responses but we can do it.

<3

Absolutely love it Lissa!!! Love, love, love it!!! Woooohooooooo!!!

You can do this! Each one of us- one at a time- we can change the system...
xoxo
Lissa

I am a nursing student and hope to incorporate this type of practice in my future profession. You have described why I want to be a health care professional and the type of healing I want to practice. Thank you for inspiring me to continue Nursing school.

On a side note, if you ever you need nurses in your practice I would love to work with you. Just give a couple of years to finish school.

Dear Larry,
I suspect the US will have socialized medicine before long, and we will face the same issues. Perhaps, when health care is free, you will get what you pay for it and those who want relationships like this will have to go outside the system. But I hope not...I hope this vision can manifest, at least in some way, even within socialized medicine systems..

And thank you for the sweet words about being my patient!

Lissa: That is a truly amazing idea of what patient-
doctor relationships should be but unfortunately it is not the status quo in Canada. There are very few doctors who have a relationship like that with patients, because in Canada we have a socialized medical system that is run and payed for by the govt.
(provincial and federal) Doctors have control of the system and the govt. listens to them. I have a wonderful doctor who listens to me but he makes all the
decisions. It is not a shared relationship but my doctor saved my life, he got me referrals as soon as I
needed, I saw specialists and a surgeon and I am lucky
I don't have cancer, I was told I could have had cancer. I have problems with reflux disease, my father
died from esophagus cancer. I developed barretts esophagus but its only minor so I have a low risk for
cancer and don,t need to be rescoped fo at least 2 years. Yes its an awesome idea but I do not think it
would work in Canada because doctors want to be in control. My doctor would not go for it, he listens but
he wants to make all the decisions. I make suggestions
but he does not always agree.Yes it would be a better
world for people and doctors if there was a system like that! I know you are an OB-GYN but I would love to have you as my doctor!

Dear Lissa,

As I have read your recent posts on this topic, I recalled the many conversations you and I have had about the challenges doctors face today. This piece is brilliant. If we can redefine the way in which doctors and patients interact, that will be quite an accomplishment. Brava sister!

Lissa -
thank you for writing this. I have only had 2 doctors that I have worked closely with in my lifetime and I believe that both of them would be on board with this agreement. In fact, I will bring it to the one I work with now, and have my mom bring it to my other doctor.

Thank you for your work - and thank you for reminding me how fortunate I have been in finding real gems of medical professionals!!!

Keep spreading the word, Lissa!!!

I totally agree with you, love. Especially about informed consent and my own right to say no. I have had patients who refuse cancer treatment, and I tell them I will support their autonomy, but I also alert my malpractice carrier and have the patient sign a release saying that I officially recommend treatment. My patients appreciate my need to protect myself medico-legally and I appreciate their right to make their own choices about their bodies.

So glad to know I have a partner helping evolve the system into an "I'm here to serve" mentality. Because we are...that's the whole point...
xoxo
Lissa

In my 20+ years of private practice I think my patients and I have evolved to this type of a relationship, which feels healthy.

My practice has been closed for the most part of 15 years so we all know each other. That's important, but working on self-awareness expedites it and helps keep it focused. Honoring intuition on both of our parts is integral to that.

My practice mantra is that 'I'm here to serve', and sometimes I even say that to a patient, who usually chuckles but is relieved. So long as the acts of service are wholesome and in-keeping with my personal and professional medical ethics then I will assist if I can. In this relationship, my boundaries too are important and if someone wants me to help with something that I believe will endanger their health (ie. allow an aggressive tumor to go untreated) then I protect myself with disclaimers and their signature acknowledging my recommendations and their decision on a statement. I too have a right to say 'no'.

Flexibility is important though. Some patients want the 'old fashioned' doc and say 'you're the doctor, you decide'. My boundary is that they need to hear everything required of informed consent, but after that, 'I'm here to serve' and if they want me to make the recommendation, I can do that too, after they agree.

Ultimately, the health we convene to seek is theirs, I'm here to interpret the science and deliver it if they so choose. This is always how I interpreted the 'big picture' intent of the law of 'informed consent', and it's how I evolved as a clinician. Patients who want that have naturally gravitated to me and those who don't have gone elsewhere.

Lissa,

This is fantastic. To answer your question, if I handed this to my neurologist I know what she would say: "I don't have time to read this." Yes, I'm looking for a new neurologist.

xoxo