“Stop BLAMING others. What if you took everyone else's 'issues' out of the equation and could ONLY speak for you? What if you took FULL responsibility for your life? What if it was ALL on you?”

I wrote that quote on facebook after working on a project that did not reach its intended goal. When the team lead analyzed why the goals were not met, all he could do was blame everyone else. The printer messed up the design. The designer messed up the artwork. The media didn’t pay enough attention. The consumer wasn’t smart enough to get the intention of the project. Every day that I worked on this team there was another reason someone else was to blame for its slow downfall.

Shifting Blame to Nonexistence

I remember sitting in the postproduction meeting twirling thoughts of blame, shame and personal responsibility in my head. I wondered, what if we took blame out of the equation? What if we took shame out of the equation? What if we took passive aggression out the equation? What if the only factor we could consider when analyzing our life, our projects, our future, our relationships and such was the personal responsibility we individually hold in its success.

Isn’t that reality anyway? We can’t control anything but our minds, our words and our actions.  Whether someone else aided in the downfall of your dream or your perfect relationship or your amazing project is neither here nor there. It’s all about you. Release the notion, just for a second, that it’s the other person’s issue. Take full responsibility for your life. Imagine that you can only say "I" or "Me" when it comes to the responsibility of what happens.

An Alternative to Blame

Do any of these phrases ring a bell? “I think my boss had it out for me and stifled my opportunities.” “We broke up because he was a jerk.” “My friend made me sad.” All of those situations reveal everyone else as the power equation in your life and they leave you living in a victim mentality.

Take ownership. Take the initiative. Take responsibility. Take control.

The next time that you feel compelled to say, “My ex is a jerk,” consider saying, “I’m willing to give my power away freely,” because that’s what you’re doing when you blame.

Yes other people exist. They interact with us. They affect our lives. They have influence. They do and say things. I get it. However, as soon as you begin to drop the story line of everyone else’s conspiracy to keep you down, as soon as you release the blame, drop your hang ups and shift your focus inward, you will find a renewed urgency to live on your own terms. You will find that other people’s "issues" become far less interesting. It's hard at first. We have a lifetime of giving away our emotions and power to get over but the more you do it, the easier it gets.

Drop the victim mentality of blame and take your power back. Take full responsibility for your life and live accordingly.

Are you willing to stop playing the blame game? How have you learned to stop blaming others? How are you taking full responsibility for your life?

I wish for you an incredible existence full of magic, authenticity and delight. Have a great day.

Sheena LaShay is a writer, siren and artist that seeks to inspire you to live an authentic and powerful life. You can also find Sheena at www.SheenaLaShay.com.