Feeling unfree freaks me out.

The night was dark, but with the conviction of a contortionist, I inched myself out of my tiny bedroom window, landed on the outside pavement, and ran off to meet friends for a midnight roam around town. Perhaps a morbid fascination drew us to the cemetery, where all was calm, but today, the symbolism is clear: I needed to break free from felt boundaries, rules, authority. I still do.

Limitations, real and imagined, self-inflicted and inflicted by others, freak me out. Physically, I feel pressed up against a wall. Rebellion wells up in me. Maybe my quest for freedom relates to being an incubator baby. Maybe it’s pure code in my DNA. But my hunch is that this is what we all seek, one way or another.

What is freedom to you?

Asking on facebook I got: Constitutional freedom. Freedom of speech. Financial freedom. Relational freedom. Freedom to be oneself. Freedom to travel and have asymmetric hair. All kinds of freedom. Big freedoms. Small freedoms. But never egotistical freedoms.

When I look back, I have toured various dimensions of freedoms.

It began with “freedom from” – external constraints and limitations of family, culture, societal norms and institutions.

As young adult, it shifted towards a “freedom to” – do whatever I wanted to do and it led me to try on careers, relationships, countries, lifestyles.

Then, with marriage and my own business under my belt, I discovered “freedom within” – an inner freedom to be ‘essential, authentic me’ at all times. A freedom that flows freely from moment to moment. A freedom that desires and dreams, but quickly releases attachments. A freedom that trusts that in letting go of what’s not good, you get what you need and what supports you in your true path.

And yet, right now, I’m surprising myself by entertaining a “freedom in” – freedom in what is, even in structures I create. I no longer need to rebel and run amok like a wild horse.

Dancing with freedom in all its dimensions is, to me, the fast-track to joy, love, creativity, acceptance, and therefore, the foundation of anything else you want in your life.

What does unfree look and feel like?

• you feel fake and follow the directives of others, family, media, gurus
• you numb yourself out to not feel and see and hear what you do from inside
• you give your inner bully full reign in your life and you allow abuse in various froms
• you shut your inner voice down – hush hush truth teller
• you compare and hide in unworthiness
• you cling, you tell stories, you lie to yourself and others
• you feel schizophrenic, depressed, you may be addicted to something or someone
• life feels like uphill battle without meaning

Fear of freedom? Of course. The unknown is scary. At first.

You may dream of breaking free from a limiting, unhealthy or unsatisfactory situation, but you don’t. You are afraid of what’s on the other side. And maybe you are right to be scared, because freedom comes at a price.

To be freely you, to be the creative director of your life, to say yes, to say no, most of us have to travel through some pretty painful, dark places.

In my experience, you have to get nakedly honest with yourself. This means taking off your pink-filtered sunglasses, peeling away veneers of ego/personality and sacrificing all your petty attachments, stories, beliefs and illusions. It means bringing into the open those ugly, shameful parts you keep at an arms length. It requires regular feng suing your mind and heart, so that you can meet the day, the situation, the lover, afresh, without story, speculation and agenda.

To be truly free you also have to step into your self-agency and reclaim your personal power from all the places you’ve diverted it and supplanted it. It means, gulp!, taking full responsibility for yourself – how you feel, who you choose to be, what you do with your precious soul and life on this planet. Your response-ability is where you find your personal power, and freedom, in every single moment of your existence. Everything always returns to you and how you relate to you and what’s going on within and around you. Always.

Freedom isn’t static. It’s a choice, an ongoing practice, and it’s a lifestyle.

Is it worth it?  Of course. Can you say: Alive, attuned, aligned, aflame, active and attractive?

Now … Are you ready to invite freedom up for the next dance?

The Free Your Sacred Journey e-program will be your perfect dance partner and the dance floor spacious enough for all of you. It’s time to find your own tune and get your groove on.

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