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Lissa Rankin's picture

I just woke up from yet another dream about my Dad--the one who passed away almost five years ago. Each time it happens, I’m right back in that moment, when I could still touch him, ask for his guidance, make him the perfect turkey sandwich with cranberry sauce on top, and stress over what you buy a man who has everything for Christmas. And then there’s a crack in the dream. A sliver of light starts to interrupt what feels so real I can almost hug him. And then I wake up in tears because he’s not really here, and I miss him so much it feels like someone just yanked out a kidney.

It’s 5am and I can’t go back to sleep now, but in my early morning reverie, it came to me. All I want for Christmas is a new Dad.

Why I Want A New Dad

Five years is a long time to go Dad-less, especially when you spent 36 years having a really awesome one. Fortunately, I’m not an orphan. I’m blessed to have an incredible Mom who I adore so much I can’t even let my imagination wander to the day I might lose her too. But there’s something about a father--the strong arms, the balanced male presence, the way he wants to hear girl talk even though he doesn’t speak that language, the way he says “I love you” when you’re hanging up the phone. 

I don’t expect anyone to fill Dad’s dorky orthopedic shoes--the ones he sometimes wore with pink socks (“But Dad, they don’t match.” “Of course they do, honey. The left one’s pink and the right one’s pink.”) I just have a lot of extra love in my heart, and I’m dying to bestow it on someone who wants to call himself my father.

I’m a big believer in putting things out to the Universe. I ask for what I need, I surrender attachment to any particular outcomes, and then I wait to see what magical thing happens. I employ this technique often in my life, but until this morning’s dream, it never occurred to me to ask for a new father. So I’m here on my knees. Asking.

Pretty please, Universe. Will you help me find a new Dad? I know he’ll never replace the one I lost, but I’d be so grateful if you would introduce me to a remarkable man who wants to love, honor, and nurture my family for the next twenty or thirty years? If it’s in the Master Plan, of course. Oh--and I love your work. Keep it up. Love, me.

Why You Should Pick Me, Dad

1.     I’m very loyal. After 41 years, this is the first time I’ve even thought about looking for a new father.

2.     I’m pretty damn smart and I have a heart of gold. I got my father’s brains and my mother’s heart.

3.     I give good hug.

4.     I’m one helluva chef (though clearly I have a potty mouth. Sorry about that. Hopefully, you can overlook that).

5.     I’ve accomplished a few big things in life. I’m a doctor. I’ve written two books. I’m a professional artist. I founded this website OwningPink.com that’s all about building authentic community and being ALL YOU, ALL THE TIME. But most importantly, you’ll have the most precious granddaughter you could possibly imagine. Not that any of that should matter to you (except the granddaughter thing. Seriously dude. If you become my Dad, you scored).

My Daddy Wish List

So enough about me. Who are you? A few pointers so you can see whether or not you recognize yourself here.

1.     You know how to love. Period. Those who are still figuring it out need not apply.

2.     You abide by a strong set of values that you’ve honed over the years to be very authentic to who you are.

3.     You’re infinitely tolerant and understand that all beings were created equal.

4.     You’re proud of being ALL YOU, ALL THE TIME. You don’t pretend to be anything you’re not, and you love who you are and know I’d be lucky to have a Dad like you.

5.     You love theater, music, fine dining, nature, reading, and board games. Willingness to sing in the church choir a plus. Nice singing voice not necessary. Tone-deafness acceptable.

6.     You must be financially secure. We don’t need your money, but we don’t want you mooching off us either.

7.     No offense, but no prospective Dads over 70 please. We’re still recovering from one loss, and as a doctor, I know the truth about your life expectancy. Plus, Mom is 65-going-on-50. You’re gonna need to keep up with her.

8.     When it comes to politics, you’re neither fiercely Red nor religiously Blue. You’re an independent thinker who votes on the issues, not along party lines.

9.     No addicts, ex-cons, depressives, co-dependents, loonies, smokers, leeches, stalkers, or control freaks need apply.

10.    You love holidays, birthdays, and any excuse to celebrate with silly string, balloons, fireworks, and sparkling cider.

11.     Residence in California would be awfully nice. While Mom and Dad are the only people on the planet who sold their Florida beach house to retire in Ohio, I’m 99% sure Mom will move back to California if my new Dad is here. I’m in the Bay area, so the closer, the better.

12.     Extra credit if you can make my mother and me laugh, but Dad really couldn’t (bless his soul!) so it’s not a prerequisite.

Wanted - New DadWhy You Should Pick Mom

Mom hasn’t had a single date since Dad’s funeral, which is such a waste because she’s one bad-ass broad (my words, not hers--she would never say the word “ass”). She looks a decade younger than her 65 years, has a heart the size of Texas, and makes a mean whoopee pie (if you don’t know what that is, you’re in for a treat). She dotes over her three kids (me, my brother Chris, and my sister Keli) and blessed us with the most blissful childhood any kid could ever imagine. She volunteers at schools and churches, gives money and time to charities, leads workshops to help others heal, and put several kids through college that weren’t hers. She gushes over children and throws killer birthday parties for her grandkids, documents the special moments of her life in elaborate scrapbooks, keeps a warm, beautiful, inviting home, ROCKS the kitchen, and gets her freak on in the bedroom according to Dad (I did NOT just write that). Oh, and Jesus is her homeboy. 

You still with us? Oh good. If you’d like to come to the Bay area to interview for the position of my new Dad, please email LissasNewDad@gmail.com

I can’t wait to meet you.

What about you? What want ad do you need to write? How can you help the Universe deliver what you need? Put it out there. Write your want ad in the comments.

Waiting here with arms outstretched,

Lissa Rankin

PS. Sorry, Mom. Hope you’ll forgive me for this.



Aspimemem's picture

Oups, erreur.. message a effacer

Edit: je me suis trompe de site ;)
Et vive le seotons !!

Charles's picture

Lissa...your criteria...

"Willingness to sing in the church choir a plus."

Love it!!!!

Rachel A's picture



This is sweet, funny, beautiful, honest, & true..

I've been in search of new grandparents for a couple of years myself (last one passed away 2 years ago 11/30). I really miss my grammas & grampas!!

I know you'll find what you're looking for and needing... And I can't wait to hear about it :-)

Much love to you and your momma :-)

~Rachel A.

Suzi Banks Baum's picture


Lissa. You are a force of Love on the Planet.
Made me cry too...for all the longing for your Mom and for you....and as a personal witness to your delightful being, I can only imagine your Mom is wonderful company.
I honor your longing and the voice you give to it.
I love that Lissa.
How many of us can name, so descriptively, what we want?
You make me wonder, what, that I have previously thought unattainable and forever out of my life (like my Mom- but she is too too soon to replace) and how to ask for it.
Tons of love to you and your quest.
As always, your desires are already flying towards you.
All this and so much more.
Hugs to you and your Mom, okay?
xoxo S

Lissa Rankin's picture

Hey, why not?

Thanks for not lopping my head off, at least not publicly Mom!
And yes, we will never replace Dad. But it sure would be nice to see you happily in a relationship again, and I sure would love to have a new lap to sit in...
Much love

April's picture

made me all teary!

What an amazing post! I thought I was the only one who asked the universe for such things. I've been asking, and patiently waiting, for a strong confident compassionate mom with an endless capacity for love for my entire 31 years. I love how you broke it down into exactly what you were (and were not) looking for, love that. I believe the universe has just the person already picked out for you!

 Trish Rankin's picture

I wrote but it erased

I wrote but it erased it????Perhaps I'm not supposed to comment. Mom

 Trish Rankin's picture

Well my sweet daughter, you

Well my sweet daughter, you never cease to amaze me and this is one of my bigger amazements! Your father is hard to replace so maybe I'm afraid to look. I have done the match.com but I'm not interested in older men and they are interested in younger women. Not going there, EVER! The rest of this blog I'll speak to you privately about...but it is very sweet of you to put me out there. And yourself too. You had a great father like I had a great husband and they are rare and few between. What can I say? I did good! Always love, you Marme!

Charles's picture

Speaking privately....

Haha!!!! Love ya, Trish. But I'd pay big $$ to be a fly on the wall for THAT conversation! Heehee...

Lindi's picture

Teary Eyed

You are a beautiful daughter my girl. A new "Dad" will find his way to you...

Lissa Rankin's picture

Accepting a Dad independent of Mom

Yes, I've thought of that Kittie. One thing I've learned lately in life is that you can't depend on other people to meet your needs. If I need a father figure in my life, I can find one independent of Mom! Although I don't think she's really the independent type. She would love to find someone I think, only she hasn't really started looking...

New Dad? You listening?

Kittie's picture

Practically need the same post!

Hey Lissa,
Yes, I feel ya cause I fortunately got to have your dad as a surrogate & Lord knows my dad needed all the help he could get. I miss my father, but I might in some ways miss yours more. I sincerely hope your mom didn't have a coronary when she read this, but she's come a long way since the last I saw her...I do believe you've been an influence:-D I'll have to share something else a little less publicly on that note...i.e. your sister & Kirsten OMG!!! May text you with it just cause now I'm dying to share it with you.

You may have to get the dad part without marrying your mom. I know my mom isn't interested in losing the independence she's gained since dad died. It will take a special person & I need to add MUST LOVE DOGS! I know that you have some wonderful uncles too! You go girl with throwing your cap to the wind:-D
Love ya,

Lissa Rankin's picture

Gary, bless you

That's maybe the sweetest thing anybody has ever offered me. THANK YOU love. Really. What a big heart you have! I'll certainly keep you in mind...

Debbie's picture

Being a Daughter

Way to go Lissa! You laid it out well. I think your mom will love it once she is over it! (AFter all ... you left your 'business' and now are dad hunting too - smiling).
Keep going girl!

Gary's picture

Foster Dad?

I'm somewhat too young (mid 40s), too far north (Canada), already have two kids of my own (daughter 17, son 15), and am happily attached to the woman of my dreams (going on 24 years).

But, I've been blessed with a strong and abiding capacity for love and compassion. I am a goofball to my kids, and my day is not complete if I have not made at least 3 people smile. At not time in my life have I been more comfortable in my skin.

I certainly don't fit the criteria. However, anytime you need a stand-in virtual Dad hug, i would be honoured to be a foster dad until the real deal comes along :)


Lissa Rankin's picture

You're on Fred!

Absolutely. Not just anybody will get to be my Dad! And of course, there's always the issue of Mom. Although perhaps I can have a new Dad without him marrying Mom. Why not? Think out of the box, eh? But either way, we'll need screening help!

Fred Krazeise's picture

I hope your wish comes true

I'll help you do the screening! :-)


Lissa Rankin's picture


Yes, Jennifer! That would be hysterical. And hey, I met my rock star of a hubby on Match.com. The way I see it, you're just helping out the law of attraction when you do things like that (and like this post!)

Dad, are you there? I made you some yummy cookies...

Jennifer Shelton's picture

made me think of my son!

My son is only 9 and his dad (my exH) is still alive. But, he left when my son was 2, moved far away, and doesn't make the effort to see him that often. My son tells me that I need to meet someone with sunglasses (means he's "cool"?) and who has lots of money. But adds, "I'd prefer if he not live with us." !! Maybe I should get him to write a Match.com profile for me, just like you did for your mom!


Astrologer, Educator &
Founder of FemCentral, the Virtual Institute for Women 

Debbie's picture

Being a Daughter

Way to go Lissa! You laid it out well. I think your mom will love it once she is over it! (AFter all ... you left your 'business' and now are dad hunting too - smiling).
Keep going girl!

Heather Sobieralski's picture

You made me cry

Beautiful! I hope he comes a knockin!

Heather Sobieralski

My Mama Mojo

Life Coach for Moms

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