Stacey, Stacey, Stacey,

What a powerful post. You have raised so many issues here. There is indeed a duality that exists in us all - lightness and dark, morning and night, black and white. The concepts are well documented in tradtional Chinese medicine and the notion of yin and yang. It is exactly as you say: darkness yields to light, just as the nighttime gives way to the new day. It is indeed part of our journey and it is a necessary part of the cycle. Light could not exist without darkness.

This may not be a perfect analogy, but when I was younger (much, much younger), I was a reasonably competitive runner. I ran cross country in college, then in my 20's took on longer distances including marathons and some ultra-marathons.

I logged many miles of training. And I kept track of those miles in a training log. From 1972 until March 2007, when my body finally broke down and I could not run any more, I kept a daily running log. Every day, every mile, every single run. More than 47,000 miles over those years. Every step is captured in more than 36 notebooks. I could tell you what I ate, how far I ran, what the weather was like, the temperature, how much I slept the night before, what I weighed, what my mood was on any given day.

"June 18, 1983 - Bagel w/peanut butter for breakast. 3 miles easy at 5:30AM. 8 mile tempo run during lunch. Temp 66 degrees. Hill workout, and 5 x 1 mile repeats at 7:30PM. Dinner: steamed vegetable, brown rice, grilled salmon. Bed: 10:30PM."

And I would have good runs, and I would have many bad runs. What I learned was that every "bad" run, a run that was difficult, was eventually followed by a "good" run. Those bad runs yielded to the good. And over time, I learned to actually embrace the bad runs as much as those good runs.

They always gave me an opportunity to learn, and they definitely gave me an opportunity to appreciate and be very grateful for the joy that I experienced during those "good" runs! Every time I felt I could not take another step, I knew that the light would be just around the corner.

I've been able to take this lesson and apply it to other parts of my life. I have learned that disappointment is almost always temporary. We just need to embrace those difficult moments, relish them, and be thankful for them. Because of those difficult moments, we can truly embrace and revel in the great joy that life can give to us every day.

I bid you peace my dear friend.

Fred

At one time I would have denied "the well" Stacey. I wanted no part of a dark, miserably, miserly place that often consumed one of my parents. I told myself I was happy and easy going and loving life like the other parent.

So early on I developed some strategies that worked reasonably well until about seven years ago. The first was to never go near the well because if I fell in I knew where THAT would lead! And second I ate my nasties... yep! swallowed them down tamped in with something sweet and nice. The problem is they are still with me. I pack them around daily... with every step, every bend and every hug I give to myself or another. With an additional 40lbs of stuffed-down-nasties, I can stay away from the well and be exuberant about life. There is a cost as we all know. My heart may be at risk of physically breaking from this self-imposed avoiding-the-nasties practice. I know how to and do eat healthy foods... then I add on all the others in equal abundance to keep from falling in the well.

This is not an uncommon story I know. However, I have been thinking about this for weeks. Here is what I am going to do about it... I am going own all those nasties and write them as a stream of consciousness every day in a nasties journal. Yep, I am going jump right in the well and get to know every creepy, crawly, critter of self and other criticism, every mean nastie thing that has been sitting under a piece of cake or square of dark chocolate. I won't stay there for long... I will set the stove timer for 10 minutes. When the 10 minutes is up. I will be done for the day. I have decided not to reread the nastie pages, I have decided not to publish or share the nastie pages. They are mine to identify, own, release and let go in the nasties journal.

I am already skilled at identifying what is going well. I will not let go of this. The nasties journal will be a value-added practice.

I will let you know how it goes. I am sure though even if I do not lose a one pound - I will have a new awareness a new strength and appreciation for my time in the well.

Note: My discovery did not come on its own. It comes from the work of Anges, Soul Awakener in her book Journey of the Slim Soul: A holistic approach to slimming.

Oh, my Stacey, this has become a very long declaration for change. Here we go...... and thank you for hosting such an inspiring space. Terrill

I'm so glad I stopped here today! I've been feeling lately like I am the most inadequate person on the face of the earth. I forgot that other people go through the same thing. I find "save me" daydreams to be particularly insidious. They sneak up on me and then take over and I find myself feeling worse than I did before.

You have reminded me that contentment with my life can only come from ME and nothing else on the outside.

Thank you Stacey!

Ever since I learned about the "Open Secret" (from you...ages ago), my ability to hold myself in love when I struggle has increased exponentially. Thank you for reminding us (yet again) that we have company on our journey and that all parts of the journey have value and importance. You light up my life!

Dearest Stacey,
Thank you for your transparency. Yesterday was just one of those kind of days. I woke up with diarrhea at 3am and was on the potty for the next 18 hours straight. And as often happens when I'm up alone in the middle of the night, the demons approached me. You know- the ones who tell you how much you suck, how selfish and greedy and ungrateful and flawed you are. And they wouldn't shut up.

I am one of those people others compare themselves too. After all, on the surface, it might look like I've really got it together. But trust me, no matter what someone has accomplished, they all have their shadows, the parts of themselves they hope nobody ever discovers and which they go to extreme lengths to protect from the light of day. I love Debbie Ford's book The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, which is the most compelling and reassuring book about the shadow that I've ever read. Somehow, at the end of reading it, you learn to love even your most hidden parts of self.

Thank you for shining a light so that we all might see how beautiful you (and we) truly are.

With love
Lissa

Great post. Anytime that I have a problem of big proportions, I go off somewhere by myself (sitting in the well) and take some time to process what is going on, what I am feeling, what do I need to look at here, what do I need to keep, what do I need to let go of . . . The questions go on and on until I finally find peace with myself and the situation or persons involved. Sometimes "sitting in the well" is over in a matter of minutes or hours and sometimes it is days or weeks before I am finished with the issue.

I just recently have been sitting for a few weeks with my most current incest issues which I started with my "Inner Child Letters Series" posts on my blog Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker ( http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com )

This post has shed new light on who you are for me. I have only seen the "peppier" side of Stacey. :)

It is good to know that this experience too, is a shared, human experience. Thank you for shining light on ways to gather ourselves, still be grateful and move past this place.

Megan