Stacey, I believe we use the tools available to us to live that take the least effort. If what we know works to satisfy fear,loneliness, and so on is food... until we learn something else that is what we will use.

I am a round happy person who exercises, eats well and is becoming slimmer. I have learned new tools from taking Anges de Lumier's eight week program after reading her book Journey of the Slim Soul. Because I was already nutritionally wise and exercised, I knew I needed to dig down into the deeper issues and discover new ways of being with myself. Anges encouraged and supported me through this process.

So the keys for me have been to do my inner work specific to overeating and getting the support I needed to stay the coarse - not for eight weeks but for the rest of my life.

Thank you for sharing your story. I never struggled with my weight until I hit my 30s. It only got worse when I turned 40 due to lack of exercise and a degrading diet. Only in the last year when taking care of me became my first priority did I lose weight (35 pounds). And curiously, I never tried. I only focused on eating what was good for me and avoiding those things that weren't.

As I am studying to be a health and wellness coach, one of the things that we are learning, which I whole heartedly agree with is the concept of primary food. That is, there are others things that feed us such as career, relationships, and spirituality. If we aren't happy with any of these, we will turn to food to sustain us. I know this to be true. Changing my eating habits wasn't as hard as I imagined once I had a lot of other things feed me, such as my art and writing, as well as my relationship and a renewed interest in spirituality. Food became secondary, even though I still enjoy it.

With love and light,

Hi Stacey,
I've lost ten pounds in the last ten weeks or so. I'm highly motivated because a blood test this summer said my blood sugar was in the diabetic range, and one of my sisters has adult-onset diabetes.

I joined Weight Watchers for the support as well as their approach of counting points for food and exercise. It's helping me change my habits to create a healthier life-style. I like their philosophy that you don't have to deprive yourself of any food - just monitor portion sizes.. And if you have a lapse, start fresh the next day.

I'm getting more exercise, with priority on making it FUN. I enjoy water aerobics at a YMCA (and the Reuter Y in Biltmore Town Square has a hot tub beside their pool!) I enjoy walks on the boardwalk at Beaver Lake (seeing herons, ducks, turtles, and more), or in Asheville's downtown park, by the three fountains and during Art Walks in and out of art galleries, or at Friday night drumming circles or summertime Shindig on the Green jam sessions, etc. etc. So far so good.

Hi Stacey,

I love this post, and I wanted to tell you about an amazing project that has made a huge impact on my life, and the way that I see myself. It's called "Just As I Am", and it's the brainchild of photographer Rodney S. Braun. It's a nude art photography project, complete with a website (justasiam.ca), a book by the same title, and we had a gallery showing in February. You can read more about the purpose on the website, if you are interested. When I heard about the project, I knew instantly that I would be a part of it. It wasn't because I had come to a place of acceptance about my body image, it was actually because I knew that this was an opportunity to help me with that acceptance. At 5'4", I currently weigh 225 lbs, and have never felt comfortable in my skin, even when I weighed much less. Our society puts so much pressure on us, to look a certain way, and if we don't, we feel that we are not acceptable. This project gave me an opportunity to see myself with new eyes, as I allowed others to see me. It was a life-changing experience for me, and it has, and still is, helping me to see the true beauty in myself, no matter what size I am.

coming to terms with my weight, for me, is not simply about letting go of pounds and bad eating habits. it is really about letting go of an old story i have been telling myself forever that has always defined who i am and ultimately kept me stuck. i am slowly unlearning those negative thoughts that i took as truths. they are not me. what i am realizing now is who i really am is the person i am right in this very moment, not the child i was 35 years ago or the even the woman i was yesterday. thank you for being brave and honest with your truth stacey. it has helped me to see my own.

Stacey,
As a child I loved walking through the woods. I loved the way the sun came through the tree and made it look as if it was a magical entry way into a secret world. And like you, I loved riding my bike too. Now, that I am older I have fell into society's little lie. Society's told me to grow up (somehow I feel funny "playing outside") and somewhere deep inside that kind of hurts. I think that holds me back a lot. I forget that you can just have fun, you don't have to join a gym, buy fancy workout clothes, and then act like a grown up. That did not look like fun when I was a kid and it don't look fun now.

love the title :)

Thanks for this great post Stacey! It's so true that often when we focus on the external goal (i.e. drop 20 lbs) the energy around it becomes so desperate we can't get there. I love that when you learned to accept yourself and focused on enjoying your life and caring for your pup that your weight goal seemed to "magically" happen without any effort. It seems to me this is the only way we can ever get anything you want - to learn to love ourselves and our lives without it. Seems paradoxical but is so true! Thanks for the reminder :)

This is awesome! I have struggled and searched and struggled some more to find the perfect plan for me to lose weight. I've searched over and over for one that I would be enthusiastic about, but after three weeks of dieting I lost six pounds and then got frustrated with watching everything I ate and forcing myself to workout. So, I am now on the fourth/fifth week and I have not exercised, I still fret over calories but I don't control myself. I just ate a whole tube of cookie dough last week by myself! I've been thinking about running because I have heard how good it feels to be able to run like the wind and not get tired, plus I love being outside and as an adult I just can't find things to do out there anymore and that makes me a little sad. I connected with your post though and I think I might even print it out so I can read it over and over again. I want to love my body now and then treat it good simply because I love it not because I don't like it!

I agree that both restricting our intake and obsessing over food really serve as distractions from the work to be done inside. Like most women, my weight has fluctuated at times and interestingly enough, my happiness was not correlated with my weight. Happiness comes from a place much deeper than our butts or waist. Wonderful post!