Nobody told me that when you write a book, you have basically no idea how it’s doing and how many people are reading it unless it winds up on the New York Times Bestseller’s List (mine hasn’t). So when people ask you how the book is doing, you shrug your shoulders and hope for the best.

Collecting dust or flying free?

What happens is that your publishers prints a boatload of books, and then bookstores buy them (with the option to return them if they don’t sell).  Most of the time, publishers print more books than the bookstores ever order, so books sit around in the publisher’s warehouse. As an author, you hope that all the books sold to bookstores actually sell to consumers, but usually, that’s not the case. Bookstores slap them up on shelves without actually promoting them, so unless you wind up on Oprah or the bestseller list, readers don’t really know your book exists. And three months after your publication date, the bookstore sends your book back to the publisher’s warehouse, where they hang onto it for a while, just in case you write a bestseller next and Oprah calls a few months later. But once the books from your first print run have hung out in the warehouse long enough, rumor has it that the publishers simply burn the books to avoid the cost of storing them. As an author, you bury your dreams of getting your message out there along with the ashes of your book.

This is the usual fate of most books. So when you’re on week seven of your book tour, you honestly have no clue how your book is doing. Is it languishing on the shelves of bookstores? Is the warehouse sitting on crate after crate of books? Or are they flying off the shelves amidst the grass roots buzz you hope is happening out there in the world?

Then the phone rings. It’s your publisher. The bookstores are ordering more books -- and the warehouse is empty. They just shipped out the last 40 books to your next book tour event, and aside from the few copies still at Amazon and scattered at Borders and Barnes & Noble out in the world, the first print run of your book is gone.

And you jump for joy.

Yes, this happened to me and What’s Up Down There? on Week Seven of my book tour.

Lissa Takes SEATTLE by the Vagina

I was on the Pacific Northwest leg of my book tour along with The Dana (we have four Danas now on our team, but Dana Theus is THE Dana). In Seattle, I spoke at a Bellevue fundraiser with Women United to benefit the Genesis Project, a nonprofit committed to building a safehouse for underage prostitutes who are victims of sex-trafficking (turns out that in this week’s nationwide bust of sex-trafficking pimps, the highest percentage of them were from Seattle. My audience was mostly hip, cool, charitable women who worked at Microsoft.

I also gave a talk at the Ladies Who Launch conference about integrating all the facets of what makes you whole (rather than living a fragmented life) in order to succeed as an entrepreneur. I was blessed to share a meal and a stage with the fabulous Danielle LaPorte, as well as many other awesome women like Molly Mahar and Melody Biringer. Pinkies like Megan Harner, Tricia Waltman, and Amy Kessel joined me there, and we had a rockin’ good time learning how to take leaps of faith in business.

While in Seattle, I celebrated with 17 of Mama Gena’s Sister Goddesses, who showed up at Elliott Bay Books to share lunch, sisterhood, a book reading/signing, and a kick ass chat about vaginas, sex, and all things girly. I hooked up with Mark Rediske, one of the artists who I interviewed for my book Encaustic Art and indulged at Armandino’s Salumi, where they have the best salted pig parts ever (yes, this is why I call myself a raw vegan omnivore).

After reveling in the Ladies Who Launch conference, where I soaked up all kinds of juicy nuggets about how to monetize OwningPink.com, how to command a higher income for my public speaking, and how to leverage my work at the Owning Pink Center so I start to earn what I’m worth, I headed off to Arundel Books for a book reading/signing/ Q&A. When I got there, the owner announced, “Lucky us! We just got the last of the What’s Up Down There? books from the warehouse!”

My heart skipped a beat.

What? They just got the last of the books from the warehouse?

Heart racing, I called my husband to tell him what I had just heard, and he said, “Surely they have more than one warehouse. Don’t get your hopes up.” It was 7:00pm PST and my editor and agent would have long gone to bed. I barely slept that night. My husband was in charge of ordering the next round of books -- 200 books that would need to be delivered to Miami, where I would speak to 200+ Sister Goddesses at the Mama Gena in Miami worldwide reunion. When he woke up early the next morning, he called the publisher to order the books and was told, “They’re gone.”

Holy shit.

He called my editor who had 15 books set aside. And there was a Portland bookstore that had ordered 60 books for a signing I was having at In Other Words. But other than that, there were no more books to be found. The first edition copies of my books were all gone from the warehouse.

So we got on the phone and started calling bookstores, trying to track down 200 books to send to Miami. But alas. There was one here, two there at Borders and Barnes & Noble. Amazon still had a few copies. There may still be some bookstores that send back their copies, but for the most part, the bookstores were sold out and had ordered more copies. The publisher had no books to send them.

So...

What’s Up Down There? is going into a second printing!!!!!

WOO HOO! *Lissa does a little happy dance.* (Okay, actually Lissa does a BIG BIG happy dance!) People are reading my book! People are buying my book! THANK YOU!

My publisher and literary agent were all abuzz about this news. It’s a big deal. Very exciting news when you have a new book out. My first edition books are not going to wind up in a publishing house bonfire. YEAH!

I’ve already written my next book -- BROKEN: One Doctor’s Search For The Lost Heart of Medicine, a memoir about why I had to leave medicine to keep from being broken by the health care system -- and how I’ve been able to come back to my calling, but only on my terms. It’s part doctor memoir, part spiritual journey. My agent calls it “Eat, Pray, Vagina.”

I finished writing it just before heading out on my book tour, but my agent has been sitting on it, waiting for the perfect moment to hand it over to my editor at St. Martin’s Press, who contractually has the right of first refusal to publish my next book, should they wish to.  Amidst all the excitement of the second printing, my agent decided that she’s going to pitch BROKEN to my publisher. They have either 30 or 45 days to decide whether they want it (I can’t remember what my contract says).

SOOOO….keep your fingers crossed for me! BROKEN is a story I’m really passionate about. It’s my attempt to not only expose how broken the health care system truly is, but to be a voice for the healing of my profession so that we all -- health care professionals and patients alike -- might live more whole, vital lives, brimming with mojo.

Lissa Takes PORTLAND By the Vagina

As The Dana and I drove from Seattle to Portland, I was so excited I could barely contain myself. After six long weeks of touring the country, things are happening! It may be a slow burn, but this fire I’m starting to light under people, the fire that shines a light on the divine feminine within us all, the fire that inspires people to have authentic voices and to speak their truth in the world, the fire of the next wave of feminism -- will blaze. I have faith.

In Portland, I spoke at In Other Words, a feminist bookstore, where Owning Pink writer and Pink God Jason Stein showed up to greet me. I also met fellow vagina whisperer and pelvic physical therapist Tami Kent, who treated me to dinner after the event. The next day, I had lunch with Sister Goddess Lauren Harkness, a jewelry artist who adorned me with gorgeous earring and a kickin’ “Desire Ring.” Then I had coffee at Stumptown Coffee with my BFF from high school (Harry to my Sally), whom I had the biggest crush on when I was young and whom I dated for like a minute when I was 19. Old friends are the best. They get to give you shit (“What were you thinking having your scheduler call to set up this meeting? I’ll bet Brad Pitt didn’t even have his scheduler set up a coffee date with his childhood best friend”), and you just have to take it.

Then I had the pleasure of experiencing the crowning glory of the Pacific Northwest leg of my journey. Debbie Rosas, founder of the international dance sensation Nia, hosted a joint event with me at Nia Headquarters, where she lead 80 women (including me and Dana) in a Nia class that included all of us screaming “WHAT’S UP!” (hands flung high in the air) "DOWN THERE!" After the dance class, we had a cocktail party with champagne, I did a talk/ Q&A/ book reading from the throne they created for me, and I signed the last of the first edition copies of my book (thank Goddess they had already ordered theirs). It was far and above the best event I’ve done on my book tour so far (with Mama Gena’s Inner Circle and Sheila Kelley’s S Factor retreat coming in as close seconds). I even got approached by a woman who runs a speaker’s bureau aimed at empowering women. Plus, I heart Debbie Rosas. I’m having girl crushes all around these days, (Debbie Rosas, Danielle LaPorte, Kate Northrup, Molly Mahar, Sheila Kelley… I could go on…)

Now I’m on a plane, flying from Portland to South Beach Miami. And I’m reflecting back to the plane ride that landed me in Chicago seven weeks ago, right before my book launched. I was so anxious. I had no idea what lay ahead. I was terrified that I’d flub up on my first public speaking event. I was heading back to the site of my biggest trauma. I was leaving my family. And I had no clue what I was getting myself into.

And I think about all that’s happened so far- the joy, the tears, the frustrations, the let-downs, the triumphs, the mistakes, the successes, the memories, the release -- the full gamut of the human experience.

How is the book tour going. Well, I AM ALIVE (and I mean that in the best possible way).

Thank you all for walking with me every step of the way, for showing up on the road to support me, for believing in me, for hugs and love and support and validation. I couldn’t do it without the Owning Pink community.

Deep breath. Sigh…

Ready for Week 8,
Lissa