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Creating and Procreating: Owning What Wants to be Born

Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010

I’ve been thinking about having another baby for four years now. Because I was the ripe old age of 36 when my daughter Siena was born, we started talking about it right away. In fact, my husband and I were so certain we were meant to have at least one more baby that I took my IUD out when Siena was eight months old and we were all ready to go at it again.

Then my stay-home Daddy husband cut two fingers off his left hand with a table saw and all hell broke loose. So we tabled the idea for at least a year, because Matt had pins in his hand from 8 hours of surgery and couldn’t even a change a diaper. Then he had to get two more surgeries. Then we were switching health insurance plans, so I couldn’t get pregnant. It was literally one thing after another.

But I’ve finally come to a certain peace about the fact that I don’t think I will be having another child (sniff, dab). Now, I’m almost 41 and it just seems like the time has passed, and I’m okay with that. But there’s this little pang when I think about it.  It’s almost enough to make me rethink my decision to put my IUD back in…but not quite. Recently, I was talking to Pink Goddess Dana- who has been volunteering her time to Owning Pink to help us turn it into a Pink Business (more on that soon, Pinkies!), and I realized that I’ve been gestating and giving birth for over four years now- and I’m a little tired.  In the past four years, I’ve been busy giving birth to ME.

How it all came to pass

It all started January 6, 2006, when Siena was born. By the spring of that year, the idea that I might leave my job as a full-time OB/GYN was planted, and by later that year, I had taken a Pleap (Pink leap of faith) by quitting my job. I spent most of 2007 gestating what a truly whole health medical practice could look like and dreaming about being of service in a whole new way. That same year, I wrote a memoir. In 2008, I joined an integrative health practice and nurtured the little seed in me until it blossomed. In 2008, I grew Owning Pink in my belly and gave birth to it in April 2009. In December 2009, I gave birth to two more books. Now, I’m about to do it all again by starting the Owning Pink Wellness Center in April 2010. And then, I’ll write my next book.

What wants to come through?

Which leaves me with little time or energy for allowing a baby spirit to grow into a human being inside my womb. With this realization comes more than a wee bit of angst. Am I being selfish for denying my daughter the opportunity to have a sibling?  Have I become a work-aholic with no balance in life? Am I expending my creative energy wisely or might I be better off slowing down and growing my family?

To be honest, I just don’t know. All I know is that the urge to create businesses and books seems to be stronger for me than the urge to procreate. And since I already feel torn between my commitment to serving my patients and Owning Pink and my commitment to motherhood, my inclination is to protect myself from feeling torn even further. Why create more conflict for myself?

Priorities?

Some might judge this as un-feminine. They might think I’m a bad mama or that my priorities are not straight. And they’re welcome to their opinion. But me? I’ve just gotta OWN it. It is what it is. That’s how I feel, that God is using me as a vessel to give birth to other creations, that every book, every blog post, every workshop, every patient encounter is a co-creation between the two of us, that I am becoming a mother over and over again, every time I tap into the divine spark and create something new.

And yet it doesn’t look how others expect it to look. I’m not feeding new blonde beings into the Mill Valley preschool system. I’m not buying new Pink clothes for a sister for Siena. I’m not sitting in the stirrups pushing a baby out into this world. But damn, it sure feels like I am. I feel like I mother at least a dozen new creations right now. Which leaves me feeling like I don’t need to get pregnant again to serve my life’s purpose.

Opinions

Believe me- others feel differently.  My mother would love to have another grandchild. Siena’s preschool teacher would love to meet a baby brother. Even some psychic a friend hired to read me said I had two more baby spirits waiting to get born. But I have to be okay with that. I have to live with the uncertainty, the possible regret, the fact that my family doesn’t look exactly the way I imagined it when I was a little girl dreaming of white picket fences.

It all comes down to creation

Creation can get confusing, can’t it Pinkies? There are days when I can’t tell how my creative forces are best expended. Should I dance with the Divine and co-create a new message to share with the world? Should I co-create a new series of art? Should I co-create new writings? Should I co-create another baby? It gets muddy, I’ll admit. I get confused as hell. We all just do the best we can and pray that what we create is done from a place of the highest intentions and the noblest part of our souls. Then we surrender to living in the muck. (A special thank you to Baby Spirit Coach Elisabeth Manning for helping me sort all this out in my mind!)

What about you Pinkies? Do you ever confuse your creative energy?  Can you tell what you’re supposed to create next?  Do you think giving birth to babies in any way resembles giving birth to businesses, art, writing, or other creative projects? Am I totally off my rocker here?

Let’s talk about this. I honestly think it’s such rich, juicy stuff. Giving birth is so inherently what we as females are all about that it nearly defines us. Yet, can’t we expand our concept of what it means to bring life into the world? How many creations have you squelched to give birth to babies? How many babies have you neglected to have because you were busy in business?  Are you so busy serving your community, your family, or your job that you’ve forgotten to give birth to YOU?

Dana, I’d love it if you’d explore this conversation in another post- maybe help us talk about sacred commerce, balancing our creations, and bringing Pink into the workplace.  And Pinkies- if you have wisdom to share, post comments, write a blog post on the Posse blog, or send something you write to Joy@OwningPink.com. I’d love hear more about what you all think…

Let’s talk, dear ones….

Creating & creating & creating,

Lissa

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Posted in Alternative Health, Lissa's personal yada yada yada, Owning Balance, Owning Creativity, Owning Surrender, Owning You | 42 Comments »

Introducing The Owning Pink Center & The Pink Partnership Agreement

Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010

Pink Heart SoapsHiya Pinkies! As many of you know, I have been struggling for six months over whether or not to leave my job at the integrative health center where I work. On one level, I adore the people, the space is gorgeous, and my patients are treasures. Compared to my old job in the crazy busy managed care practice where I used to work, it’s heaven. But deep down, I realize it doesn’t align with my vision. Being there has been clipping my wings. And it’s time to FLY.

Introducing The Owning Pink Center

So I took the leap of faith and submitted my resignation just before Christmas, without a clue what would happen next. More Pleaping (taking a Pink leap of faith!) Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Once again, I found myself letting go, surrendering into what will be, trusting God, and being open to Signs from the Universe. Well, wouldn’t you know it, all the signs have aligned to allow me to bring Owning Pink into bricks and mortar in a beautiful space on 600 Miller Ave in Mill Valley, CA. The Owning Pink Center- where I will join forces with acupuncturists, a nutritionist, a psychologist, and Mojo Mentor Tricia Barrett, our Pink & Green cleanse expert- will be open soon, right down the street from where I have been practicing. It will give us a chance to bring Owning Pink into the real world, to ground what we’ve created in cyberspace and demonstrate how what we do can heal people. I’m VERY excited.

In the process of clarifying my thoughts and dreams, I have been doing a lot of writing about how I think health care can be best received by those in need of healing, and I decided to start with what I call the Pink Partnership Agreement, a contract between me and my patients. After I wrote it, I realized that this is very similar to what we do here at Owning PInk Central. We enter into sacred contract together- with the express purpose of healing ourselves and each other. So I wanted to share it with you here.

The Pink Partnership Agreement
As doctor and patient, you and I are entering into a partnership. As such, I feel it is important to clarify and agree upon what our relationship will entail.

Your Power to Heal
I am here to support you, guide you, offer you tools, and support your process, but I will not “fix” you – for I don’t believe you are broken.

I believe you already have within you the power to heal yourself. When we meet, I will hold up the mirror so you can see that you already have what it takes to optimize your wellness and live the most joyous, vibrant, fulfilling, sexy, healthy life possible.  You are here to be the force behind your own healing. If you are not ready to take this action step, I will be here to nurture and support you, but the process will be less powerful, with fewer results.

Respect for each other and the process

In order for our partnership to be successful, we must respect each other.  I will offer you a treatment plan, but I will also invite you to listen to the intuition of your body and your soul. I will respect your autonomy, and the choices for how we proceed will always be yours.
We will respect each other’s time. I will not make you wait for your appointment, and you will not be late.  We must be present, fully and completely, during our time together. This means we will both turn off cell phones, let go of distractions, and focus all of our energy on your wellness.  We have to be open and tell the truth, even if it is painful or uncomfortable.  We must trust that we are safe together, so we can explore things that may be tough to explore.  We must open our hearts to the loving kindness and compassion that is a necessary part of any healing relationship.

My pledge to you
I promise to respect you, guide you, and help you discover the healing power within you. In exchange, I ask that you follow through on any treatment plan we agree upon. If our treatment plan does not resonate with your body’s wisdom, or if you have financial constraints, please tell me so that we can modify our plan. Follow through is key. We must walk this path together in order to manifest the results I know we can achieve.

This is YOUR life. OWN IT.
Are you on board? If so, sign here. (Insert your signature here!)

The Owning Pink Wellness Center Mission Statement

We believe that the power to heal lies within all of us. Rather than “fixing” you, we aim to offer you tools that will empower you to attain optimal wellness, vitality, and joy. We believe health is the foundation upon which we build the other facets of what makes us whole- our creativity, relationships, career, spirituality, sexuality, and life purpose.  At Owning Pink, we hold up the mirror to reflect back to you what you already know but may not see- that you are beautiful, just the way you are, and that getting your mojo back is not only possible, it’s your birthright!

The Owning Pink Center Philosophy

The health care system in the United States may be broken, but we as individuals are whole, just as we are.  At Owning Pink, we aim to create an entirely new way to heal- one that works from the inside out. Unlike traditional medical practices, where you may be herded in and out in 7 1/2 minutes, handed a prescription for drugs you may not understand, and wind up feeling worse than when you walked in, we strive to let the healing begin the moment you walk in the door.  We value the opportunity to be present with you, to hold space for you, to listen, and to offer you our expertise as an equal partners in your wellness plan.  We believe you are more powerful than you know, that you hold the keys to living fully right in your own hand. Our job is to help you use the keys you already possess and supplement anything else you might need to achieve your health and wellness goals.

Too many people walk around in a daze, unaware that there is a better life out there, just longing to be lived.  When you lack energy, struggle to sleep, experience stress, feel depressed, dislike the way your body looks and feels, and suffer from symptoms and diseases, you may come to accept that this is simply life. We at Owning Pink believe there is more to life than just getting by. We believe you can get your mojo back- and have fun doing so. It’s what Owning Pink is all about- being brilliantly, gleefully, wholly healthy, inside and out.

As human beings, we may manifest symptoms and diseases, but underlying these external manifestations, our spirits know the answers to how we can live more vitally.  We ask our clients questions such as “What does your body need to get better?” And we honor and cherish the answers that come up. We value the wisdom of the body and the enduring strength and resilience of the human spirit. We value YOU.

The practitioners at the Owning Pink Center are skilled at helping you access these answers to help you reclaim the life you know you’re meant to live.  We call upon all of the tools in our collective tool boxes- using traditional Western medicine, natural and functional medicine, nutrition, bioidentical hormone balancing, acupuncture, Chinese medicine, therapy, raw foods/detox cleansing, and a variety of other alternative therapies to help you access what you need to achieve optimal health. Mostly, we practice love, with a little bit (okay, sometimes a lot) of medicine on the side. What does love have to do with medicine? Everything. Trust us on this.  When we approach our bodies with love, acceptance, and nurturing kindness, we pave the way for magic to unfold, the kind of magic we’re blessed to witness every day.

We invite you to step up to the Pink plate. Are you in? We can’t wait to bear witness to your transformation.

So here’s me, Pinkies- Pleaping! I’d LOVE your feedback! What resonates for you? What seems too woo woo or weird? How can we help patients understand what Owning Pink is all about in a medical practice? How are you Pleaping these days? What resistance keeps you from following your dreams?

Jumping off cliffs right and left,

Dr. Lissa

Lissa Rankin, MD

PS. Stay tuned for our new website, how to make appointments, and all the details that turn a dream into reality.

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Posted in Alternative Health, Healthy Thursday, Lissa's personal yada yada yada, Owning Health | 36 Comments »

Owning Your Body: Your Most Trusted Advisor

Wednesday, January 27th, 2010

Dearest Pinkies, please welcome Stacey Curnow, a wonderful writer and beautiful spirit we found milling around the Pink Posse Blog. Stacey works as a certified nurse-midwife and life coach in North Carolina. Check out her work and her blog at www.midwifeforyourlife.com. Please give Stacey a warm welcome, and enjoy her wise words on the wisdom of the body.

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I consider my body my most trusted advisor. I think it assimilates information from the Universe that I can’t understand fully at first. You see, I know the Universe wants my best life, but sometimes I don’t heed its advice – sometimes I’m convinced I don’t even hear it.

It’s like Oprah says: Life sends you messages – first it will put a pebble in your path, then a rock, and then a brick wall. If I don’t hear the plink of the pebble, the rock shows up – usually as a bodily symptom. I pay attention because I really want to avoid hitting that brick wall.

If I ignore my body’s messages, it’s capable of great drama. In fact, I’ve seen my body produce some Oscar-worthy performances.

I work as a nurse-midwife in a hospital. I consult with physicians when I am caring for a woman who is considered high-risk and occasionally I don’t agree with the physician’s plan for managing a particular case.

One night I told a doctor that I was disinclined to follow his plan and he responded by saying, “That’s why I’m here, to tell you what to do.” Those weren’t his exact words, but you get the point.

I knew the doctor’s plan was not going to cause harm and I didn’t want further conflict, so I followed his orders. Within a few hours I lost my voice. My throat hurt and I couldn’t speak above a whisper.

As soon as I got home I looked up laryngitis in my well-worn copy of Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life. I believe the book provides clues to understanding the messages underlying an illness or imbalance in your body. If you decipher these messages and, more importantly, act on them by changing your thinking, you will improve your life.

For laryngitis she writes that the probable cause is “So mad you can’t speak. Fear of speaking up. Resentment of authority.” I was struck by the truth of this: I was mad. I had been afraid to speak up to the doctor. And I resented that he didn’t seem to value my expertise.

The new thought pattern she offers is “I am free to ask for what I want. It is safe to express myself. I am at peace.” I applied this new thought to my mind like a healing balm and got my voice back quickly after that.

The affirmation also helped me gain insight into the fact that I don’t need to compel the doctors to agree with me or even to see my side. All I can do is use my best judgment and present a plan of care. And trust that all is well.

For me, being at peace means that my worth is not predicated on others valuing me. I value me.

Since that epiphany I’ve had other differences of opinion with my physician colleagues but I haven’t had that sense that my value as a practitioner was diminished. And I’ve never lost my voice again.

Many of my coaching clients are women in their middle years and a common issue is insomnia. We all know that there are lots of suggestions for how to improve your sleep through better habits – like eliminating caffeine, increasing magnesium, exercise, routine bedtimes and getting acupuncture. All of these strategies address the hormonal changes that come with menopause.

But insomnia is often a way our body clues us into a deeper truth about ourselves. Christiane Northrup, M.D., in her excellent “The Wisdom of Menopause,” writes that insomnia and fatigue are frequently “the result of unprocessed and unresolved emotions such as anger, sadness, or anxiety,” which accompany the enormous changes of midlife.

She encourages her readers to identify the emotions that challenge them and look for their underlying meanings. Are you anxious about a daughter getting into her preferred college? Do you feel guilty about the things haven’t gotten done in a day? Do you feel resentful that everything seems to depend on you?

Louise Hay’s affirmation for insomnia is “I lovingly release the day and slip into peaceful sleep, knowing tomorrow will take care of itself.” When you have good sleep “hygiene,” when you address the probable causes — and when you release the negative emotions that occupy your waking life—you will, most likely, find yourself able to sleep like a baby.

You don’t need a copy of Louise Hay’s or Christiane Northrup’s books (although I highly recommend them!) because all you really need to know is that if you ignore the wisdom available to you, your body can create a painful drama.

On the other hand, the Universe wants you to know that you are worthy of love and respect and you can have a life filled with health, happiness, connection and joy – you just have to listen.

Do you think your body may be trying to tell you something right now?

Paying loving attention,

Stacey

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Posted in Alternative Health, Guest Pinkies, Healthy Thursday, Owning Health, Owning Your Body | 41 Comments »

Owning Bliss: Nurturing the Goddess Within You

Saturday, January 16th, 2010

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Hey Pinkies, please welcome Amanda Miller, LE, CNC, and Bona Fide Bliss Bunny. Amanda is owner and Holistic Esthetician of Ananda Skin Spa & Sanctuary in Fairfax, CA, where she provides loving Organic Goddess Facials for women, while incorporating holistic nutrition consultation, and energy healing in her treatments. We can’t imagine any Pinkie who knows better than she about how to live like a Goddess. Deep bows of thanks to you, Bliss Bunny!

Got Bliss?
Bliss is the Divine nectar of the human experience. As Goddesses, it is our birthright to experience as much bliss as our hearts desire.  Yet there is much programming that disregards bliss, telling us, “You don’t have the time!” or, “You don’t deserve it,” or, “You can’t afford it.”  My heart desires lots and lots of bliss. And so, it is my mission to experience as much bliss as humanly possible in this lifetime while inspiring other women to do the same.

Slow Down and Smell the Bliss

When I lived in Italy several years ago, I was always impressed by how long Italians took to prepare and enjoy meals, regardless of what their day held for them.  A “quick lunch” on a busy work day in Italy would include a home-cooked plate of pasta decorated with olives, fresh vegetables, and grated Parmiggiano and was inevitably accompanied by a glass of pretty darn good red wine. The meal would last for about an hour, complete with conversation and good company.  If the Italians can find their bliss in a pinch, so can we! On your lunch break, think of something you can do to give yourself a special treat. Think roll-out mini Italian red-checker table mat with a glass of sparkling Pellegrino. Whatever it is, know that no matter how busy we are, as goddesses, we deserve these little additions–these doses of bliss.  And that’s the bottom line.

Bustin’ the Bliss Busters
It’s funny to think about how programmed we are to focus on being ‘good girls’–getting proper schooling, working hard, and pleasing our friends, partners, and family; so much so that bliss can become an illusory accessory available to us only on occasion. We’re also taught to emphasize appearances–to look good, embody all that’s hot and sexy, and appear as if we’re in bliss, even when we’re having a rough day.

I’m part of a community of conscious dancers.  The dance is about consciously expressing, loving, and healing ourselves.  Despite these intentions, I often catch myself wandering away from the sacred experience of the dance, and find myself becoming the self-conscious little girl, or worse–the teenage queen desperate to look cool and get attention.  When I dance to please others, I’ve strayed from my bliss.  Plus, anyone who approves of the fake cool me is not honoring the real me, and this feels empty. Instead, when I dance and honor the authentic me, I express my true bliss, in whatever form it takes; and it feels deliciously satisfying, bold, and never boring. I hope my crazy writhing and wriggling bliss-fests inspire others around me to dance theirs, as this is always so much more interesting and inspiring to me than watching dancers simply trying to look cool.  

You might ask yourself these questions: on average, every day, how much time do you spend living in bliss, compared to how much time you pass thinking about looking good to others? What blocks you from having more true bliss?  How can you have a more authentically blissful life? Are there some small steps to incorporate into your life to make it more satisfying? I encourage you to write these answers down and play with your thoughts.

Bliss-firmations
It’s time to create a new paradigm that honors us as Goddesses living bliss!  The first ingredient to a decadently blissful life is to realize that you’re worth it.  That’s it. You’re worth the time, the energy, and the money (though bliss doesn’t have to be expensive).  Next time you’re in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eyes and do this repeat these simple affirmations…or post them on the wall to read throughout the week:

“I forgive and release the blocks that keep me in fear, confusion, shame, and worry.  I forgive myself for ever having deprived myself from the Divine blessings.  I am worth it, and I  wholeheartedly surrender to bliss.  I welcome the Universe to fully bless me with as much bliss as possible!”

“Bliss is my birthright.”

“My flavor is the best flavor for me. My dance is the right dance for me.”

“I surrender to this moment’s bliss. I can always let go and find peace.”

Or, make up your own bliss-firmations, and say them every time you look at gorgeous you.  Finding bliss doesn’t take time or space; it’s a state–it just takes some practice.  So you don’t have to be a stay-at-home mom to achieve it–we can tap into bliss in under two seconds!  Try it right now.  Think of something fun, funny, that makes your heart sing, or just try on a smile and feel the bliss come.  Remembering your favorite cute baby sometimes helps.  It also helps to look in your eye and forgive yourself, all others, and all energies that have ever blocked you from experiencing your bliss.  I forgive you Allan, for wanting me to be the perfect boring student!  I forgive you mom, for wanting me to wear the itchy sweater because it looked cute!

Yummy Goddess Bliss Plans
To create a Goddess Bliss Plan, all you have to do is set an objective: how and why are you going to generate abundant, decadent, ridiculous amounts of bliss in this lifetime?  Then, create a plan to manifest and maintain your bliss.  To do so, I suggest setting weekly, monthly, and annual bliss goals. For instance, this week I will take a hot tub daily, go for three excursions outside in nature, dance often, and give myself a neck massage nightly before bed.  Monthly, I will get my toes painted and call my amazing friend Lori in Omaha, NE, who always brings more bliss to my life. Annually, I will go to Bali, because it is the Bliss Goddess Capital! Write down your Goddess Bliss Plan, and share it here with the rest of us. I’d love to be inspired with more blissful options!

Bliss by the Bowlful  - A Recipe to Live for:
Raw organic cacao nibs, coconut butter, banana, frozen berries, soaked wildcrafted goji berries, pure water, organic vanilla extract.

Mix all ingredients in a powerful blender until creamy and smooth. Serve with a garnish that makes you feel goddessy.  It’s required! I like hibiscus flowers, mint leaves, raspberries, or a puff of whipped cream.  Add a hit of bliss, and sit back on the chez lounge for a few goddessy moments….ahh.  Enjoy!  Much bliss to you this month.

Bliss: our pure and perfect essence blended with Universal love coming from Spirit.

Blissfully (how else?),

Amanda

Join The Pink Community and Feel the Love!

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Posted in Alternative Health, Guest Pinkies, Owning Health, Owning Joy, Owning Spirituality, Owning Surrender, Personal Empowerment | No Comments »

Sex Is Good For Your Health: A 30 Day Sex Challenge

Friday, January 8th, 2010

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Hiya Pinkies! How’s the second week of 2010 going for you? I just read something that inspired me to write about your favorite topic- SEX (yes, it’s true- the Pretty Pink Pussy Tour is still Owning Pink’s #1 most heavily trafficked post). CNN correspondent Elizabeth Cohen reported about Sadie Nardini and her husband, who resolved to have sex every day in December to help them fight his-and-hers vices: ciggies and chocolate. Lo and behold, guess what happened? Not only did they find their cravings curbed, but they felt better, slept better, and didn’t get the usual winter viruses that typically plague them.

Apparently, their experiment worked so well, they’re planning to continue it into January. My guess is that, in addition to the evident health benefits, Sadie and her husband find themselves more loving, more connected, and hell- more sexually satisfied!

It got me thinking (and feeling a little…uh…sparkly, if you know what I mean). What if, instead of wallowing in the Winter Blues that seem to be afflicting many of the people I know, those of us with ready and willing partners snuggle in front of the fireplace and resolve to whoop it up a bit? After all, sex is good for you. Just ask Dr. Beverly Whipple, a leading sex researcher who famously named the G Spot and just co-wrote The Orgasm Answer Guide. I interviewed Beverly when I was researching my upcoming book What’s Up Down There? Questions You’d Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend. Here are some of the many health benefits to sex and orgasm.

Engaging in acts of sexual expression may:

  1. Help you live longer.[i][ii][iii]
  2. Lower your risk of heart disease and stroke if you have sex twice/week or more.[iv]
  3. Reduce your risk of breast cancer.[v]
  4. Bolster your immune system.[vi]
  5. Help you sleep.[vii]
  6. Make you appear more youthful.[viii]
  7. Improve your fitness.[ix]
  8. Help protect against endometriosis.[x]
  9. Enhance fertility.[xi]
  10. Regulate menstrual cycles. [xii][xiii]
  11. Relieve menstrual cramps.[xiv]
  12. Help carry a pregnancy to full term.[xv]
  13. Relieve chronic pain.[xvi][xvii][xviii]
  14. Help reduce migraine headache pain in some individuals.[xix]
  15. Improve quality of life.[xx][xxi][xxii]
  16. Reduce the risk of depression.[xxiii]
  17. Lower stress levels.[xxiv][xxv]
  18. Improve self esteem.[xxvi]
  19. Improves intimacy with your partner.[xxvii]
  20. Help you grow spiritually.[xxviii][xxix][xxx]

The evidence is mounting. Sex and orgasm aren’t just good – they’re good for you.

So go ahead and resolve to try something sexy for 2010. If you don’t have a partner, don’t worry. Orgasm benefits you, with or without a partner, so fly solo if need be.

What do you think, Pinkies? You all get shy when we start talking about sex, but speak up! Tell us what you think. Share your experiences, and let’s get this party started.

Hot and bothered,

Dr. Lissa

[i] Davey Smith, George, et al.  (1997).  “Sex and Death: Are They Related? Findings from the Caerphilly Cohort Study.” BMJ ? British Medical Journal, 315, 1641–1644.

[ii] Palmore, E.  (1982).  “Predictors of the Longevity Difference: A Twenty-Five Year Follow-Up.”  The Gerontologist, 22, 513–518.

[iii]Persson, G.  (1981).  “Five-year Mortality in a 70-Year-Old Urban Population in Relation to Psychiatric Diagnosis, Personality, Sexuality and Early Parental Death.”  Acta Psychiatrica Scandinavica, 64, 244–253.

[iv] Ebrahim, S., et al.  (2002).  “Sexual Intercourse and Risk of Ischaemic Stroke and Coronary Heart Disease: The Caerphilly Study.” Journal of Epidemiology Community Health, 56, 99–102.

[v] Lê, M.G., et al. (1989).  “Characteristics of Reproductive Life and Risk of Breast Cancer in a Case-Control Study of Young Nulliparous Women.”  Journal of Clinical Epidemiology, 42(12), 1227–1233.

[vi] Charnetski, Carl J. & Francis X. Brennan.  (2001).  Feeling Good Is Good For You: How Pleasure Can Boost Your Immune System and Lengthen Your Life.  Emmaus: Rodale Press, Inc.

[vii] Ellison, Carol Rinkleib.  (2000).  Women’s Sexualities.  Oakland: New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

[viii] Weeks, David & Jamie James.  (1998).  Secrets of the Superyoung.  New York: Berkley Books

[ix] Ellison, Carol Rinkleib.  (2000).  Women’s Sexualities.  Oakland: New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

[x]Meaddough, Erika L., et al.  (2002).  “Sexual Activity, Orgasm and Tampon Use Are Associated with a Decreased Risk for Endometriosis.”  Gynecologic and Obstetric Investigation, 53, 163–169.

[xi] Cutler, Winnifred B.  (1991).  Love Cycles: The Science of Intimacy.  New York: Villard Books.

[xii] Cutler, Winnifred B.  (1991).  Love Cycles: The Science of Intimacy.  New York: Villard Books.

[xiii] Burleson, Mary H., et al.  (1991).  “Heterosexual Activity and Cycle Length Variability: Effect of Gynecological Maturity.”  Physiology & Behavior, 50, 863–866.

[xiv] Ellison, Carol Rinkleib.  (2000).  Women’s Sexualities.  Oakland: New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

[xv] Sayle, A.E., et al.  (2001).  “Sexual Activity During Late Pregnancy and Risk of Preterm Delivery.”  Obstetrics and Gynecology, 97(2), 283-289.

[xvi] Kaplan, Helen Singer.  (1984, October).  “Desire ? Why and How It Changes.” Redbook, 58.  As cited in Komisaruk & Whipple, 1995.

[xvii] Shapiro, D.  (1983).  “Effect of Chronic Low Back Pain on Sexuality.”  Medical Aspects of Human Sexuality, 17, 241–245.  As cited in Komisaruk & Whipple, 1995.

[xviii] Whipple, Beverly & Barry R. Komisaruk.  (1985).  “Elevation of Pain Threshold by Vaginal Stimulation in Women.”  Pain, 21, 357–367.

[xix] Evans, Randolph W. & James R. Couch.  (2001).  “Orgasm and Migraine.”  Headache, 41, 512–514.

[xx] Weeks, David J.  (2002).  “Sex for the Mature Adult: Health, Self-Esteem and Countering Ageist Stereotypes.”  Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 17(3), 231–240.

[xxi] Warner, Pamela & John Bancroft.  (1988).  “Mood, Sexuality, Oral Contraceptives and the Menstrual Cycle.”  Journal of Psychosomatic Research, 32(4/5), 417–427.

[xxii] Laumann, Edward O., et al.  (1994).  The Social Organization of Sexuality ? Sexual Practice in the United States.  Chicago: University of Chicago.

[xxiii] Catania, Joseph A. & Charles B. White.  (1982).  “Sexuality in an Aged Sample: Cognitive Determinants of Masturbation.”  Archives of Sexual Behavior, 11(3), 237–245.

[xxiv] Charnetski, Carl J. & Francis X. Brennan.  (2001).  Feeling Good Is Good For You: How Pleasure Can Boost Your Immune System and Lengthen Your Life.  Emmaus: Rodale Press, Inc.

[xxv] Weeks, David J.  (2002).  “Sex for the Mature Adult: Health, Self-Esteem and Countering Ageist Stereotypes.”  Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 17(3), 231–240.

[xxvi] Hurlbert, David Farley & Karen Elizabeth Whittaker.  (1991).  “The Role of Masturbation in Marital and Sexual Satisfaction: A Comparative Study of Female Masturbators and Nonmasturbators.”  Journal of Sex Education & Therapy, 17(4), 272–282.

[xxvii] Weeks, David J.  (2002).  “Sex for the Mature Adult: Health, Self-Esteem and Countering Ageist Stereotypes.”  Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 17(3), 231–240.

[xxviii] Gardella, Peter.  (1985).  Innocent Ecstasy: How Christianity Gave America an Ethic of Sexual Pleasure.  New York: Oxford University Press.

[xxix] Keesling, Barbara.  (2000).  Rx Sex: Making Love is the Best Medicine.  Alameda: Hunter House Inc., Publishers.

[xxx] Ogden, Gina.  (2001, August 14, accessed 2009, November).  “Spiritual Passion and Compassion in Late-Life Sexual Relationships.” [Online]. Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality.  http://www.ejhs.org/volume4/Ogden.htm.

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