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Owning Pleasure: Preparing to Attend Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts

Monday, March 15th, 2010

Hiya Pinkies!

This weekend I am heading to New York City for the first weekend of the Mastery Program at Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts. You Pinkies may remember Mama Gena from the interview I did with her a few months ago for my book, What’s Up Down There? Questions You’d Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend (St. Martin’s Press, October 2010). This is a Pinkie who has redefined (or, more accurately, unearthed) the truth of what it is to be a woman, and to Own Pleasure.

What I’m In For*

According to Mama Gena (and the Pinkies and Sister Goddesses to whom I’ve spoken who have taken the course), this weekend is going to be about “unleashing the intoxicating experience of being exquisitely you within a community of strong, hot, fun, confident women.” Whoa, Nelly! Something tells me my life is about to be taken to a whole new level of Pinkness. Some of what I can expect to be reacquainted with this spring includes:

  • Confidence, confidence, confidence (yes, Pinkies, I for sure need help with this sometimes!)
  • Learning to expose my truths, and experience more freedom to be the woman I really am in my relationships
  • Reconnecting with the Divine Feminine and hooking back into my dreams & desires
  • Putting the “O” back in MOM (as a mom who shares a bedroom with her four-year-old, I’ll be paying extra close attention during this part of the class!)
  • Experiencing a greater ownership of my sensuality and sexuality
  • Becoming intoxicated by the beauty of my own body
  • Attracting what I’ve been desiring
  • Bringing the fire, juice and romance back into my marriage

Uh, yes… please! Who among us doesn’t desire to touch into these elements of their own lives? And Pinkies – there’s still room! Please come join me this weekend if you can.

In preparation for all of this, I thought I’d take stock of where I am, and where I’m headed. To do this, I’m going to be doing a round of what Mama Gena calls “the BGDs”: Brags, Gratitudes, and Desires (Mama Gena calls it the Holy Trinity!). I figure, what better way to get where I want to than by Owning where I am? Of course this exercise must include you Pinkies, who will be with me in spirit (or maybe in person!) throughout this course.

How to OWN the BGDs

1. First, list your brags. This is anything about your life and yourself that you feel is particularly wonderful. Anything you’re proud of. This can be an awkward practice for many of us (especially women), who have been taught not to make ourselves too big or draw too much attention to ourselves (ugh, when did this happen? And why?). The Sister Goddesses (Mama Gena’s online community) actually keep a “brag board,” where one Sister Goddess lists a brag and the others “upride” you – telling you how great you really are, instantly dissolving any shame a sister might feel in speaking about herself this way. Why not start this practice in your own Pink Posse?

2. Now, list your gratitudes. What about yourself and your life are you most grateful? Dig deep. Be thankful!

3. Finally, think about all that you desire. Having made lists of what makes you strong and what makes you grateful is a wonderful primer to start thinking about all that is possible. Don’t edit based on limited beliefs or the fact that you can’t see “how” something might happen. When you are living in your power, anything is possible. Live big, Pinkies! Go nuts. As Pink Goddess Tama Kieves says, “Figure out what will make you giggle to your toes.”

I could brag all day about how blessed I am these days.  But doing so doesn’t tend to make one popular in the world, from what I’ve discovered.  Why is that? Why are we so willing to rally around our girlfriends when we life turns shitty and so reluctant to be there when life is grand? Mama Gena would want us to say “Fuck that!” (“Scuse my French, but seriously, what’s the deal with us?)
So letting go of all barriers, here goes. My BGD’s.
Owning MY BGD’s: (Eeh Gad!)

BRAGS:
1. I have this amazing Ivy League MBA hubby who desires nothing more than to be a stay home dad, rub my back, and help my businesses thrive.
2. My dreams are all coming true this year. It freaks the hell out of me because coming face to face with your calling is terrifying. But it’s everything I’ve asked for, so I can only bow to the Universe for making it all happen.
3. I am opening the Owning Pink Center next month, which will allow me to redefine health as I know it. Forget what they taught me in med school. There’s SO MUCH more than being simply well. We can be vital. It’s within our reach. I can’t wait to share it
4. It appears I am a gifted writer and artist (I wrote two books that are being published this year, and prepared an art show that’s being prepared to tour the country as we speak.  Woo hoo! Go me!) Damn- that was hard to write.
5. I am, by nature, a healer (ooh- even harder! What a loaded word!)  My most essential gift is to see the vitality in another person and help bring it forth, not only by practicing medicine, but by seeing and holding space for another to heal him or herself (we all have this power!)
GRATITUDES:
1. I am SO grateful for the amazing team that volunteers their efforts to making Owning Pink come to life. Where did these people come from? How can I thank them? I will feel forever blessed.
2. I feel gratitude that I am actually flying to NYC this week to meet all you amazing Sister Goddesses! It still feels a bit surreal. I can’t WAIT!
3. I am so grateful that I have been able to release my fear and follow my heart. It hasn’t been easy but it has absolutely served me every step of the way. Thank you Universe!
4. I am in awe of All of you extraordinary Pinkies
5. What would I do without my husband and daughter? They keep me grounded.
6. I am so grateful for the breathtaking landscape surrounding my home, and my ability to walk out into it on a regular basis.
7. I feel immense gratitude for an upbringing so loving and unconditional that it gave me the ability to give and receive love effortlessly.
8. I am so grateful for my whole family. I am  truly blessed.
DESIRES:
1.  I desire better sex. There. I said it! My sweet hubby longs for it too, I’m sure. But we have this quiet agreement not to speak of such things. What’s with that? BRING IT!
2. I desire more luxuries in life. I don’t consider myself particularly materialistic, but after quitting my lucrative job and making the leap of faith to live life on my terms, I’ve had to make some sacrifices. I’m done with that! I long for spa days again!
3. I desire balance. Pure and simple. A life of balance. Is that so much to ask?
4. I desire for What’s Up Down There to be on the New York Times Bestseller list. (Hey!  A girl can dream!)
5. I desire to have the magic of Owning Pink become a national – and worldwide – phenomenon, allowing millions to recognize their own magnificence and begin to live from that place.
6. I desire to spend more of my time doing what makes me feel most alive: writing, making art, seeing patients, being with my family, dancing, hiking, and BEING REAL!

I’m ready!

Whew! How are you feeling now, Pinkies? What did this exercise bring up for you? What new part of yourself do you feel ready to Own? What does taking it to the next level look like to you? How do you Own Pleasure in your every day life?

I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling energized, hopeful, and pretty damn excited about this weekend.  Please join me, Pinkies – there’s still room! You can find out more and register at Mama Gena’s website: www.mamagenas.com.

What are your BGD’s? What if we make this a daily practice? Start practicing here in the comments or join the Brags, Gratitudes, Desires Group on the Pink Posse to share what you wish to OWN.

Owning what I got – and ready to take it higher,

Lissa

*list adapted from www.mamagenas.com

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Posted in Finding Mojo, Lissa's personal yada yada yada, Owning Sexuality, Owning You, Owning Your Body, Personal Empowerment | 10 Comments »

Owning Creation: Giving Birth for A Living

Wednesday, March 10th, 2010

A while back, a conversation Lissa and I had about being a mom and an entrepreneur struck a chord in both of us and produced her wonderful post on birthing what wants to be born. That post produced a moving discussion about the choices we make about where our amazing, female creative energy goes – into babies, projects, passions and work. As I sat with this and let the words of Pinkie wisdom seep into me, a wondrous thing happened I want to share with you. I felt some of the tangle of my personal confusion on this subject begin to unravel. When I told Lissa and Joy they encouraged me to untangle and reweave in public in the hopes that it might be useful to others. And so here I share some of my tapestry-in-progress with you. Blessings to you in your personal struggles and choices as you release your own amazing creative powers. ~Dana

******

The need to create

We women are just bursting with the ability, talent and NEED to create. Not just procreate – though that’s obviously a biggie hormonally and otherwise – I mean: CREATE. I wasn’t completely aware of this myself until recently, which is ironic because in addition to co-creating two children, I’ve spent my whole professional career trying to create stuff. This has been frustrating because I wasn’t an artist or a welder or a software developer, I was a marketer. (Marketers don’t make stuff, sadly; we make stuff up.) So, unconscious of the fact I really wanted to create things, I aligned myself with people who did and made a career out of launching new products into the market and advising organizations on how to take advantage of new technology to create new businesses. Somewhere along the line I stopped owning the failure of not being happy in all my jobs and started owning success by realizing I was a creative spirit and that creating stuff fuels me and brings me joy. Seeing it come to fruition in one form or another makes me ecstatic! I loved making kids! I love parenting kids – now teenagers whom I adore. I have – count them – four businesses! And I love them all! It’s all just the creative energy in me visioning something wonderful in the world and then setting my energy to bring it into being.

Lissa and I laughed because of course, she has given birth to one beautiful child and many businesses too – a medical practice, an artist’s body of gorgeous work, two books, and a blossoming creation in Owning Pink she’s inviting us all to co-create with her. But of course, we’ve both created children and sometimes the demands and desires of motherhood and entrepreneurship get a little tangled up and confused.

Confusion

For myself, this tangle is definitely confusing; and I’m not just talking about the energy management of it here (though that is often beyond confusing!). I mean something deeper. Something so deep that it’s tangled up with roots that go so far down into my spirit and my being I can’t even see where they end. This bonked me on the head when Lissa and I were chatting on IM about this. We were talking about how fun it is to start up a business (and how exhausting) and about the parallels with having a kid. At first we were focused on the similarities:

  • neither a baby nor a startup business can exist without you;
  • both cry a lot and need constant care and feeding, sucking at your very being; and
  • you LOVE them both to the point that it can make you wonder where you start and they stop.

After a bit we were all confused. Birthing anything new is an act of creation and so in many ways they feel so much alike, is there really no difference? Could you just start a business and never have a kid (or visa versa) and have the same experience? Well, no… there are significant differences too:

  • a child is an independent soul with its own intrinsic purpose on this earth, while a business’s purpose is to further the growth and development of all the independent souls it touches (employees, owners, customers, investors etc.);
  • a child should be nurtured until it can function completely independently, while an organization always needs leadership; and
  • your love for a child should be a personal connection, while your love for a business (which is also “owned” by others, either financially or otherwise) should be a little more distant for your own health and well-being.

They’re one in the same

And then it hit me. In addition to being a mom, I’m also an entrepreneur, a professional risk taker. A serial Pleaper (i.e., Pink Leap of Faither). And in this conversation I’m just now realizing why those two aspects of my identity are SO important and SO related. What I realized today is: My JOB is giving birth and it’s also my LIFE. There’s no separating them out!

So now I realize I’m on the same adventure many of us find ourselves exploring, how to blend my creative energies in my professional, creative and family lives. When I think of it this way, I feel like a success as a creator; and by viewing all these adventures as creative efforts I find I’m having a lot more fun. Because the act of creation assumes a little mystery about what the end result will be and when I think of them as creative efforts I have less attachment to exactly how they come out in the end. I also realize they are creative collaborations with the people in my life – my husband, my kids, my partners, my clients – and where we share creative visions so much more is possible.

So what about you, Pinkies? Where are your lives rich with creative energy? What are your strategies for blending them? How do you infuse creative excitement into facets of your life? How do you manage the creative tensions that inevitably arise?

Love, light, and creation,
Dana

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Posted in Owning Balance, Owning Creativity, Owning Motherhood, Owning Parenting, Owning Success, Owning You, Owning Your Family, Personal Empowerment | 9 Comments »

Claiming Our Divine Selves: Why We Don’t Need to Wait

Sunday, March 7th, 2010

Dear Pinkies, please welcome back Audrey Vitolins, a motivational speaker, consultant and intuitive coach for transformation, who helps her clients uncover their truth – or what she calls their gold. She’s a Magical Eyes coach, Pinkies! And she’s here today to talk a bit about why we wait to follow our dreams … and why we don’t need to any more.

*****

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
– Anais Nin

Can you feel the excitement?! The buzz of energies, a sense that what you have been waiting for is indeed possible?! Or perhaps you are feeling an uncertainty as you face a blank canvas knowing that it is indeed your time to fill it. Are you feeling that you almost cannot deny the call to respond? As written above, that it’s almost becoming too painful to wait any longer? Or maybe you are feeling dead in the water knowing that the old way no longer fits.

I’ve walked this path and know what it’s like to make the conscious decision to unfold and how challenging it can be. I’ve streamlined what I’ve learned so that others have an easier time, and this is why I now guide beautiful, amazing, passionate souls through this process.

Divine Timing

It is key that during these times you understand the difference between the patience involved in allowing something to manifest, aka “divine timing”, versus waiting to step into what you sense is possible or into the embodiment of your Divine Loving Self.

Waiting to be who you are here to be is not the same as being patient. One is victim consciousness and a lack of action, the other is acknowledging that all is in divine order. Hear this again – hoping that your feeling doubtful or fearful of living authentically will one day dissolve is not patience. It’s just waiting.

You experience how it can be challenging to pick up senses about things to come such as the endings of relationships, beginnings, possibilities, moves, creative ideas, etc. You have this sense but are not sure as to the timing. So you wait and delay stepping into the power of the now opportunity.

Ways we wait

We do this on several levels. On an external level, we wait to move forward on practical matters because we know that change is coming. Perhaps you ignore a job opportunity or new relationship because you sense an upcoming change and don’t understand how these new opportunities will fit into the change you sense.

This also occurs at an internal level. You wait to be less afraid, to be more loving, to speak up, to treat your body with respect until you arrive at your new destination whether this new destination is energetic (e.g. you release blame or guilt) or physical (e.g. you move to Georgia). Or you continue to act defensive and closed down with people around you who cause you stress because you know that one day you will get a new job, new spouse, move away from your family or those neighbors or that group of friends and all will be well in this new land.

In other words, you are waiting for something outside of yourself to make it easier for you to be you. When really, you sense that right now you would rather laugh more, act softer, more nurturing, take a risk, let go of old regrets. And instead of just being or doing those things, you wait until others change, until you feel validated and safe. All the while not owning that the place of safety and validation is completely within yourself.

What happens is that you wait for your future to begin. You wait to arrive in Oz and then you will have courage and then you will know how to live from your heart space and then you will be at home and then you will be able to think clearly and paint like the wild artist you always knew you were. And what happens is that it takes much longer to arrive in OZ than you ever thought. And you begin to realize that you are exhausted, irritable, uninspired and you believe this is due to not being in OZ. Rather . . . it’s because you have decided to wait to be who you are divinely coded to be.

What are you waiting for?

Who or what are you waiting to be? Why are you waiting and what are you waiting for? Stop waiting and click those red heels. You do not need to “get” a new life to experience a healthy body, to be calmer, to be more loving, to step into your passion, to master your energy. You do these things, embody these things and thus create a new life.

If you want to get along better with that co-worker, don’t wait for him/her to change. BE who you want to be with them. If they reject you, you will not die! And if you are afraid you will shrivel up, then that is your indicator that you are waiting for something outside of you to change. Claim the freedom and expansion you will experience as you live from your truth and your integrity in that moment. Do this over and over and perhaps that person will change and perhaps not. But YOU WILL.

This planet needs as many of us to be in our power, to claim our Divine Heart Based Self. Please be the inspiration in someone’s life today and use your magical eyes to see other beautiful souls who are wanting to blossom!

Seeing you in your Joy ~

Audrey

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Posted in Finding Mojo, Guest Pinkies, Owning You, Owning Your Intuition, Personal Empowerment | No Comments »

See Yourself As Creator: The Divine Lies Within Us All

Saturday, March 6th, 2010

Dear Pinkies, please welcome Pink Goddess Elisabeth Manning, Founder of Conscious Conception Fertility Coaching. Elizabeth helps those who want to be parents find “peace, certainty and partnership with your baby in the creation process.” How beautiful – and how Pink?? This woman exudes peace and positive energy. Needless to say she has had quite an impact on me, and on Owning Pink. The below post by Elisabeth was actually a comment on my post the other day about creating versus procreating. We couldn’t keep the words of this wise and wonderful Pinkie to ourselves any longer. And so, without further ado, please give a warm welcome from your Pink hearts to this incredible Pinkie … one from whom we’ll surely be hearing more!

*****

I cannot begin to tell you the swell of love and appreciation I feel for each open heart in this forum sharing their experience, strength and hope with her Pink family. I am overwhelmed by the love I had no idea was waiting for ME, here, my new Pink “home.” This will be what I get to OWN, and powerfully, so thank YOU. I cannot wait to see what we can create together…

I find my own heart already knowing you, yet longing to connect to each and every one of you individually to hold your heart and tell you, “it is all so perfect; our stories, our journeys, our outcomes, and there is and never was anything ‘wrong.’” Never. All is perfect where we are, we are enough now, in this moment, and exactly where we are supposed to be…

The way I see it? When we get down to it, we came to this “earth school” to:

  1. Live the illusion of separation so we can find our way back to the truth that there is no separation (like drops of water we are, then to drop yourself into the ocean, what are you then? Individual unique expressions of the One, so celebrating and loving the unique chemical combination of YOU as creator, as aspect of creator, is of utmost importance!)
  2. Learn to create and see our creations manifest into physical form. This is what many of us are powerfully discovering n the Law of Attraction, etc but in my book it is imperative we learn how to connect with Source to do this with integrity/ethic and for the highest good)
  3. Along the way we make agreements with other aspects of the One (family, friends, co-workers, strangers whose lives we touch and who touch us) so they can help us take steps. The challenge? So many agreements can appear ugly yet they are our greatest teacher because they help us wake up). Much of our healing is to overcome this, and discern our “stuff” from others’.
  4. We also have agreements with Creator and ourselves that, if we are not clear on, can forget and “listen” to the outside noise, programs, etc thinking it is our own. This is where we get to do the inner work: Who am I? What do I love, how do I find my way back to myself? This is my favorite part when I coach others.
  5. To have experiences. Which helps us remember: it is never about right/wrong, good/bad (third chakra) it is only about “which experience do I want to have?”

Seeing ourselves as Creator

When we are clear that we want to experience ourselves AS CREATOR this definitely is a step in the right direction. Problem I see is, we are limiting ourselves wayyyy too much. Creator at its very essence is LIMITLESS, therefore the first step is to get out of our own way and touch in with that. Meditations to run the limiting pictures and give you an experience of what it feels like to be limitless can begin powerfully here.

I believe we get into trouble when we are missing out on seeing the beauty and respect for ourselves as powerful creators. That can be easily taken for granted. Then when something shows up that we “didn’t want,” we fall victim to the illusion that we are victims “I didn’t ask for that” (but ahhh, if we take on the idea that we attract everything that happens to us– then at some level you did– so let us find that thread to get your power back!), when in reality we are just unconsciously creating. NO need for guilt, blame, that is a waste of precious energy. Just OWN it…

So yes, much unwinding to do if we are to get “right” with our creations. It is all about releasing that which is NOT us, that limits us. These can be very very deep, but I see it loosen and fall away all the time at the energetic level (much more accelerated and we do not have to re-enact our drama to overcome it-otherwise I never would have gotten this far!)

Misunderstood/misaligned creation energy often shows up energetically in a distorted second and fifth chakras. More on this in a later post, as I really can’t stop myself from this subject! It is my life’s work to understand creation and manifestation and there is SO much richness to be explored and discovered, ladies.

My Own Story

The fact that I choose not to have children at 40 is also a part of my story. I made a very conscious choice to give birth to ideas, and to be a midwife for others creations and births in this world. Once I found the core of myself as Creator, and my “Primary Postulate” (life purpose) to “Be in service to the Highest Good: To bring light to the world and positively affect others that we all may be elevated into the greater human potential,” I can DO ANYTHING with this. It was then I got scared, because I actually saw how big that was. =) That is a healthy fear and I have since seen how my creations were leading me to more and yet more creations. Now I am creating a television show – who knew??? But am I scared now? Not a bit. I am a vibrational match to my creations now. It is as though the idea “of course, why NOT?” is now a fun playmate of mine!

To ALL our amazing, beautiful creations in this amazing and beautiful world … I have sooo much gratitude for all of you.

Seeing the Creator in you,
Elisabeth

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Posted in Guest Pinkies, Owning Creativity, Owning Spirituality, Owning Success, Owning You, Owning Your Intuition, Personal Empowerment | No Comments »

20 Tips For Being Beautiful From the Inside Out

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

"Rainbow Woman," artwork by Rita Lloyd, (c) 2004

As women, we are inundated with messages that we are not beautiful enough just the way we are.  We must pluck, dye, lose weight, wax, exfoliate, tone, manicure, highlight, paint, flatten, inject, and dress in haute couture to be “beautiful.” Well, I’m here to say, on behalf of women everywhere- bullshit.

Recently, someone said to me, “Beauty is health,” and I found myself cringing. After all, I know some supermodels who smoke crack, binge and then purge, and suffer from a weak heart. But they make it into the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition, and by most American standards, they are “beautiful”. When I heard this comment, I found myself flipping it around in my head. I’d argue that “Health is beauty.” When I see someone taking steps towards whole health, when I see a body being nurtured, a loving mind, and a bright, sparkly spirit, I see true beauty.

It may sound cliché, but I genuinely believe beauty comes from within.  So I’d like to write the kind of beauty article you’ll never see in Cosmo. Not that you shouldn’t put on eyeliner if it makes you feel pretty or get a pedicure when you feel like treating yourself, but I believe that if you follow these tips, you’ll positively radiate.

20 Inner Beauty Tips

  1. Keep your heart open. See others with Magical Eyes and let love glow through you. Look beyond the masks people wear and see the beauty within them.
  2. Begin each day with thoughts of gratitude. Appreciate every experience, even the challenges.
  3. End each day by relaxing every muscle in your body. Start at your scalp and allow each hair follicle to breathe. Move to your forehead, your cheeks, your temples, your smile lines (call it natural Botox!). Relax your shoulders and watch then un-hunch. Relax your chest, your belly, your hands, your perineum, your hips, your knees, your ankles, your toes. Allow every part of your body to soften.
  4. Eat a whole foods diet. For extra glow, include as many raw foods as possible.
  5. Allow 10 minutes per day for stillness. Meditate, pray, breathe- just be quiet with yourself.
  6. Affirm your inner beauty. Make positive statements of affirmation to yourself (i.e., “I approve of myself. I am valuable. I am loving and lovable. I am abundant.”) Say them. BELIEVE them.
  7. Donate your time or money to helping the world. Being in service to those in need helps illuminate the bright shiny light within you.
  8. Exercise at least 30 minutes each day. Even if it’s just a walk around the block, getting your juices pumping helps quiet the mind, tone the body, ground you, and nurture the spirit.
  9. Release judgments and criticisms. Accept that all of us are doing the best we can, imperfect though our actions may be. Give us the benefit of the doubt as we strive to be the best we can.
  10. Let your creativity flow. Find a way to express yourself and allow yourself time to tend the creative spark within you.
  11. Smile often. Not only will it benefit your health, but it will touch others. Even better, laugh out loud. Try laughter yoga. One elderly lady wakes up each morning in her nursing home, laughs like mad, wiggles her arms and legs in bed, and screams, “I’m alive! I’m alive!” The nursing home attendants swear it’s her fountain of youth.
  12. Have orgasms. Often. As regularly as possible. With or without a partner. Talk about inner beauty…
  13. Be authentic. Tell the truth to yourself and others. Let your freak flag fly. Living outside of your own authenticity is never pretty.
  14. Engage in work you love. Nothing like a job you despise to make you scowl.
  15. Tend your spirit. Find spiritual community in a church, temple, mosque, or yoga class.  Commune with the Divine. Let your aura sparkle.
  16. Be free. Dance. Sing at the top of your lungs. Run. Scream. Paint outside the lines. Yodel during sex. Scatter daisies around the boardroom. Pass out balloons. Give free hugs. Get unstuck and set your inner freak free.
  17. Pamper your body. If it makes you feel beautiful to wear lip gloss, give yourself a facial, take a long hot bath with lavendar bath salts, get a massage, or deep condition your hair, go for it!  But do it for you- not for anyone else.
  18. Avoid being mean. It’s a sure way to negate beauty.
  19. Practice preventative health. Why wait until something goes wrong?
  20. Look in the mirror every day and say, “I am beautiful, just the way I am.”

Try it Pinkies! And report back. What works for you? What other inner beauty tips do you have? Let’s shake up the beauty industry and show ‘em what true beauty is all about.

Beautifully yours,
Lissa

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Posted in Owning Aging, Owning Health, Owning Sexuality, Owning Spirituality, Owning You, Owning Your Body, Personal Empowerment | 10 Comments »

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