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Owning Pleasure: Preparing to Attend Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts

Monday, March 15th, 2010

Hiya Pinkies!

This weekend I am heading to New York City for the first weekend of the Mastery Program at Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts. You Pinkies may remember Mama Gena from the interview I did with her a few months ago for my book, What’s Up Down There? Questions You’d Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend (St. Martin’s Press, October 2010). This is a Pinkie who has redefined (or, more accurately, unearthed) the truth of what it is to be a woman, and to Own Pleasure.

What I’m In For*

According to Mama Gena (and the Pinkies and Sister Goddesses to whom I’ve spoken who have taken the course), this weekend is going to be about “unleashing the intoxicating experience of being exquisitely you within a community of strong, hot, fun, confident women.” Whoa, Nelly! Something tells me my life is about to be taken to a whole new level of Pinkness. Some of what I can expect to be reacquainted with this spring includes:

  • Confidence, confidence, confidence (yes, Pinkies, I for sure need help with this sometimes!)
  • Learning to expose my truths, and experience more freedom to be the woman I really am in my relationships
  • Reconnecting with the Divine Feminine and hooking back into my dreams & desires
  • Putting the “O” back in MOM (as a mom who shares a bedroom with her four-year-old, I’ll be paying extra close attention during this part of the class!)
  • Experiencing a greater ownership of my sensuality and sexuality
  • Becoming intoxicated by the beauty of my own body
  • Attracting what I’ve been desiring
  • Bringing the fire, juice and romance back into my marriage

Uh, yes… please! Who among us doesn’t desire to touch into these elements of their own lives? And Pinkies – there’s still room! Please come join me this weekend if you can.

In preparation for all of this, I thought I’d take stock of where I am, and where I’m headed. To do this, I’m going to be doing a round of what Mama Gena calls “the BGDs”: Brags, Gratitudes, and Desires (Mama Gena calls it the Holy Trinity!). I figure, what better way to get where I want to than by Owning where I am? Of course this exercise must include you Pinkies, who will be with me in spirit (or maybe in person!) throughout this course.

How to OWN the BGDs

1. First, list your brags. This is anything about your life and yourself that you feel is particularly wonderful. Anything you’re proud of. This can be an awkward practice for many of us (especially women), who have been taught not to make ourselves too big or draw too much attention to ourselves (ugh, when did this happen? And why?). The Sister Goddesses (Mama Gena’s online community) actually keep a “brag board,” where one Sister Goddess lists a brag and the others “upride” you – telling you how great you really are, instantly dissolving any shame a sister might feel in speaking about herself this way. Why not start this practice in your own Pink Posse?

2. Now, list your gratitudes. What about yourself and your life are you most grateful? Dig deep. Be thankful!

3. Finally, think about all that you desire. Having made lists of what makes you strong and what makes you grateful is a wonderful primer to start thinking about all that is possible. Don’t edit based on limited beliefs or the fact that you can’t see “how” something might happen. When you are living in your power, anything is possible. Live big, Pinkies! Go nuts. As Pink Goddess Tama Kieves says, “Figure out what will make you giggle to your toes.”

I could brag all day about how blessed I am these days.  But doing so doesn’t tend to make one popular in the world, from what I’ve discovered.  Why is that? Why are we so willing to rally around our girlfriends when we life turns shitty and so reluctant to be there when life is grand? Mama Gena would want us to say “Fuck that!” (“Scuse my French, but seriously, what’s the deal with us?)
So letting go of all barriers, here goes. My BGD’s.
Owning MY BGD’s: (Eeh Gad!)

BRAGS:
1. I have this amazing Ivy League MBA hubby who desires nothing more than to be a stay home dad, rub my back, and help my businesses thrive.
2. My dreams are all coming true this year. It freaks the hell out of me because coming face to face with your calling is terrifying. But it’s everything I’ve asked for, so I can only bow to the Universe for making it all happen.
3. I am opening the Owning Pink Center next month, which will allow me to redefine health as I know it. Forget what they taught me in med school. There’s SO MUCH more than being simply well. We can be vital. It’s within our reach. I can’t wait to share it
4. It appears I am a gifted writer and artist (I wrote two books that are being published this year, and prepared an art show that’s being prepared to tour the country as we speak.  Woo hoo! Go me!) Damn- that was hard to write.
5. I am, by nature, a healer (ooh- even harder! What a loaded word!)  My most essential gift is to see the vitality in another person and help bring it forth, not only by practicing medicine, but by seeing and holding space for another to heal him or herself (we all have this power!)
GRATITUDES:
1. I am SO grateful for the amazing team that volunteers their efforts to making Owning Pink come to life. Where did these people come from? How can I thank them? I will feel forever blessed.
2. I feel gratitude that I am actually flying to NYC this week to meet all you amazing Sister Goddesses! It still feels a bit surreal. I can’t WAIT!
3. I am so grateful that I have been able to release my fear and follow my heart. It hasn’t been easy but it has absolutely served me every step of the way. Thank you Universe!
4. I am in awe of All of you extraordinary Pinkies
5. What would I do without my husband and daughter? They keep me grounded.
6. I am so grateful for the breathtaking landscape surrounding my home, and my ability to walk out into it on a regular basis.
7. I feel immense gratitude for an upbringing so loving and unconditional that it gave me the ability to give and receive love effortlessly.
8. I am so grateful for my whole family. I am  truly blessed.
DESIRES:
1.  I desire better sex. There. I said it! My sweet hubby longs for it too, I’m sure. But we have this quiet agreement not to speak of such things. What’s with that? BRING IT!
2. I desire more luxuries in life. I don’t consider myself particularly materialistic, but after quitting my lucrative job and making the leap of faith to live life on my terms, I’ve had to make some sacrifices. I’m done with that! I long for spa days again!
3. I desire balance. Pure and simple. A life of balance. Is that so much to ask?
4. I desire for What’s Up Down There to be on the New York Times Bestseller list. (Hey!  A girl can dream!)
5. I desire to have the magic of Owning Pink become a national – and worldwide – phenomenon, allowing millions to recognize their own magnificence and begin to live from that place.
6. I desire to spend more of my time doing what makes me feel most alive: writing, making art, seeing patients, being with my family, dancing, hiking, and BEING REAL!

I’m ready!

Whew! How are you feeling now, Pinkies? What did this exercise bring up for you? What new part of yourself do you feel ready to Own? What does taking it to the next level look like to you? How do you Own Pleasure in your every day life?

I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling energized, hopeful, and pretty damn excited about this weekend.  Please join me, Pinkies – there’s still room! You can find out more and register at Mama Gena’s website: www.mamagenas.com.

What are your BGD’s? What if we make this a daily practice? Start practicing here in the comments or join the Brags, Gratitudes, Desires Group on the Pink Posse to share what you wish to OWN.

Owning what I got – and ready to take it higher,

Lissa

*list adapted from www.mamagenas.com

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Posted in Finding Mojo, Lissa's personal yada yada yada, Owning Sexuality, Owning You, Owning Your Body, Personal Empowerment | 10 Comments »

20 Tips For Being Beautiful From the Inside Out

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

"Rainbow Woman," artwork by Rita Lloyd, (c) 2004

As women, we are inundated with messages that we are not beautiful enough just the way we are.  We must pluck, dye, lose weight, wax, exfoliate, tone, manicure, highlight, paint, flatten, inject, and dress in haute couture to be “beautiful.” Well, I’m here to say, on behalf of women everywhere- bullshit.

Recently, someone said to me, “Beauty is health,” and I found myself cringing. After all, I know some supermodels who smoke crack, binge and then purge, and suffer from a weak heart. But they make it into the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition, and by most American standards, they are “beautiful”. When I heard this comment, I found myself flipping it around in my head. I’d argue that “Health is beauty.” When I see someone taking steps towards whole health, when I see a body being nurtured, a loving mind, and a bright, sparkly spirit, I see true beauty.

It may sound cliché, but I genuinely believe beauty comes from within.  So I’d like to write the kind of beauty article you’ll never see in Cosmo. Not that you shouldn’t put on eyeliner if it makes you feel pretty or get a pedicure when you feel like treating yourself, but I believe that if you follow these tips, you’ll positively radiate.

20 Inner Beauty Tips

  1. Keep your heart open. See others with Magical Eyes and let love glow through you. Look beyond the masks people wear and see the beauty within them.
  2. Begin each day with thoughts of gratitude. Appreciate every experience, even the challenges.
  3. End each day by relaxing every muscle in your body. Start at your scalp and allow each hair follicle to breathe. Move to your forehead, your cheeks, your temples, your smile lines (call it natural Botox!). Relax your shoulders and watch then un-hunch. Relax your chest, your belly, your hands, your perineum, your hips, your knees, your ankles, your toes. Allow every part of your body to soften.
  4. Eat a whole foods diet. For extra glow, include as many raw foods as possible.
  5. Allow 10 minutes per day for stillness. Meditate, pray, breathe- just be quiet with yourself.
  6. Affirm your inner beauty. Make positive statements of affirmation to yourself (i.e., “I approve of myself. I am valuable. I am loving and lovable. I am abundant.”) Say them. BELIEVE them.
  7. Donate your time or money to helping the world. Being in service to those in need helps illuminate the bright shiny light within you.
  8. Exercise at least 30 minutes each day. Even if it’s just a walk around the block, getting your juices pumping helps quiet the mind, tone the body, ground you, and nurture the spirit.
  9. Release judgments and criticisms. Accept that all of us are doing the best we can, imperfect though our actions may be. Give us the benefit of the doubt as we strive to be the best we can.
  10. Let your creativity flow. Find a way to express yourself and allow yourself time to tend the creative spark within you.
  11. Smile often. Not only will it benefit your health, but it will touch others. Even better, laugh out loud. Try laughter yoga. One elderly lady wakes up each morning in her nursing home, laughs like mad, wiggles her arms and legs in bed, and screams, “I’m alive! I’m alive!” The nursing home attendants swear it’s her fountain of youth.
  12. Have orgasms. Often. As regularly as possible. With or without a partner. Talk about inner beauty…
  13. Be authentic. Tell the truth to yourself and others. Let your freak flag fly. Living outside of your own authenticity is never pretty.
  14. Engage in work you love. Nothing like a job you despise to make you scowl.
  15. Tend your spirit. Find spiritual community in a church, temple, mosque, or yoga class.  Commune with the Divine. Let your aura sparkle.
  16. Be free. Dance. Sing at the top of your lungs. Run. Scream. Paint outside the lines. Yodel during sex. Scatter daisies around the boardroom. Pass out balloons. Give free hugs. Get unstuck and set your inner freak free.
  17. Pamper your body. If it makes you feel beautiful to wear lip gloss, give yourself a facial, take a long hot bath with lavendar bath salts, get a massage, or deep condition your hair, go for it!  But do it for you- not for anyone else.
  18. Avoid being mean. It’s a sure way to negate beauty.
  19. Practice preventative health. Why wait until something goes wrong?
  20. Look in the mirror every day and say, “I am beautiful, just the way I am.”

Try it Pinkies! And report back. What works for you? What other inner beauty tips do you have? Let’s shake up the beauty industry and show ‘em what true beauty is all about.

Beautifully yours,
Lissa

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Posted in Owning Aging, Owning Health, Owning Sexuality, Owning Spirituality, Owning You, Owning Your Body, Personal Empowerment | 10 Comments »

20 Things Every Woman Should Know About Her Vagina

Thursday, February 18th, 2010

vagina

Hiya, Pinkies. Below is a piece inspired by WebMD, who interviewed me this week for an upcoming article “20 Things Every Owner Should Know About Their Vagina, which will be live online in about a month. In preparing for the interview, I decided to write my own list (very different than what you’ll see on WebMD, as you can imagine!) So, of course. I had to share with you Pinkies as well. As with my upcoming book, What’s Up Down There? Questions You’d Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend (St. Martin’s Press, 2010), my intention with this piece is to open up dialogue, educate women, and encourage us all to know, love, and celebrate our bodies. Enjoy the info, and please, pass it on!

20 Things Every Woman Should Know About Her Vagina

  1. While men do pee out of the penis, women do not pee out of the vagina. Know your anatomy. There are three holes and countless other sexy structures. Find your way around on the Pretty Pink Pussy Tour. Get a hand mirror and go to town.
  2. The vagina doesn’t connect to your lung. If you lose something in there, don’t worry. Reach in all the way and pull it out. Do not- I repeat- do not, go hunting for whatever you’ve lost with a pair of plyers. If you think you put something in there and you can’t find it, chances are good that it’s simply not there.  Think of your vagina as being like a sock. If you lose a banana in a sock…it stays in the sock.
  3. Yes, it’s true- your vagina can fall out. Not to belabor the sock metaphor, but it can turn inside out just like a worn out sweat sock and hang between your legs as you get older. But don’t fret- this condition- called pelvic prolapse- can be fixed.
  4. There’s no such thing as being revirginized. Once you lose it, it’s gone. Just so you know.
  5. You can catch sexually transmitted diseases even if you use a condom. Sorry to break it to you, but skin of the vulva can still touch infectious skin of the scrotum- and BAM! Warts. Herpes. Molluscum contagiosum. So pick your partners carefully.
  6. The vagina is like a bicep. Use it or lose it. If you don’t have a partner, pick up a battery-operated boyfriend to help keep things healthy as you age. But don’t worry- it’s usually not an issue until after menopause, when fragile vaginal tissue can scar and shrink. If properly tended, your vagina will be able to pleasure you until the day you leave this life.
  7. Every vulva is different and special. Some lips hang down. Some are tucked up neatly inside. All are beautiful. Don’t even think about labiaplasty or “vaginal rejuvenation surgery.” You’re perfect just the way you are.
  8. Most women don’t have orgasms from intercourse alone. The clitoris is where the action is. Most women who do orgasm during sex have figured out how to hit with sweet spot, either from positioning or from directly stimulation of the clitoris with fingers.
  9. If you’re hunting for your G Spot, be patient. Stimulating this area usually requires more time and deeper stimulation than most people think. Try using a finger in a “come hither” motion to stimulate the front wall of the vagina, where the G spot lives. If you can’t find it, don’t worry. You’re not alone. Many can’t- and it’s definitely not critical to having a a fulfilling romp in the hay.
  10. How you choose to decorate is completely personal. Waxing, shaving, tattooing, piercing, or simply going au natural. It’s your choice, and don’t let anyone else pressure you into doing something that doesn’t resonate with you.
  11. The vagina doesn’t need to be douched. As Eve Ensler says, ““My vagina doesn’t need to be cleaned up. It smells good already. Don’t try to decorate. Don’t believe him when he tells you it smells like rose petals when it’s supposed to smell like pussy. That’s what they’re doing – trying to clean it up, make it smell like bathroom spray or a garden. All those douche sprays – floral, berry, rain. I don’t want my pussy to smell like rain. All cleaned up like washing a fish after you cook it. I want to taste the fish. That’s why I ordered it.” Amen, sister.
  12. The only cancer a Pap smear screens for is cervical cancer. It doesn’t check your ovaries, your uterus, or your colon.
  13. How much vaginal discharge you make varies widely. Some normal, healthy women spew loads of discharge and need to wear panty liners every day. Others are bone dry. As long as you are not at risk of STD’s and you have no itching, burning, or odor, you’re probably just fine. If in doubt, see your gynecologist.
  14. Menstrual blood is supposed to clot, so don’t freak out. Usually, what you think are clots are just pieces of uterine lining. As long as you’re not losing too much blood, small clots during your period need not concern you.  Clots are just nature’s way of keeping you from bleeding too much. Blood is supposed to clot. It’s when the clots are large or you start to hemorrhage that we start to worry.
  15. Lots of vaginas need help lubing up during sex, especially as you get older. Don’t be afraid to slick on some lubricant like K-Y Jelly or Astroglide (coconut oil is a great natural lubricant, but don’t blame me if you find yourself hankering for a post-coital macaroon).
  16. Vaginal farts (some call them “queefs” or “varts”) happen to almost all women at one time or another, especially during sex or other forms of exercise. Don’t be embarrassed. You’re perfectly normal.
  17. Vaginas stretch out when you have babies vaginally. It’s natural but it can leave you feeling a bit loosey goosey. Kegel exercises (contracting the muscles of the vagina) really do help. To do them, practice stopping the stream of urine when you pee. There- that’s the muscle! Now contract and relax it 10 X for three or more sets several times per day.
  18. Some women do ejaculate during orgasm, but you’re normal if you don’t. The controversial “female ejaculation” most likely represents 2 different phenomena. If it’s a small amount of milky fluid, it likely comes from the paraurethral glands inside the urethra. If it’s a cup, it’s probably pee. Many times, it may be a little bit of both. But don’t stress out about peeing on yourself. Put a towel under you and surrender to the experience.
  19. Sex shouldn’t hurt, but it does for many women. If you’re one of those women, see your doctor. So many women are too embarrassed to say anything, so they suffer in silence. There are things we can do to help.
  20. Safe sex (or even just orgasm alone) is good for you. Benefits include lowering your risk of heart disease and stroke,[i] reducing your risk of breast cancer,[ii] blostering your immune system,[iii] helping you sleep,[iv] making you appear more youthful,[v] improving your fitness,[vi] Regulating menstrual cycles, [vii][viii] relieving menstrual cramps,[ix] relieving chronic pain,[x][xi][xii] reducing the risk of depression,[xiii]lowering stress levels,[xiv][xv] and improving self esteem.[xvi] So go at it, girlfriends!

How much of this did you already know, Pinkies? How much of this is new to you? Has it changed the way you look at your girly parts? Let’s GIRL TALK!

Putting it all out there,
Dr. Lissa

[i] Ebrahim, S., et al.  (2002).  “Sexual Intercourse and Risk of Ischaemic Stroke and Coronary Heart Disease: The Caerphilly Study.” Journal of Epidemiology Community Health, 56, 99–102.

[ii] Lê, M.G., et al. (1989).  “Characteristics of Reproductive Life and Risk of Breast Cancer in a Case-Control Study of Young Nulliparous Women.”  Journal of Clinical Epidemiology, 42(12), 1227–1233.

[iii] Charnetski, Carl J. & Francis X. Brennan.  (2001).  Feeling Good Is Good For You: How Pleasure Can Boost Your Immune System and Lengthen Your Life.  Emmaus: Rodale Press, Inc.

[iv] Ellison, Carol Rinkleib.  (2000).  Women’s Sexualities.  Oakland: New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

[v] Weeks, David & Jamie James.  (1998).  Secrets of the Superyoung.  New York: Berkley Books

[vi] Ellison, Carol Rinkleib.  (2000).  Women’s Sexualities.  Oakland: New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

[vii] Cutler, Winnifred B.  (1991).  Love Cycles: The Science of Intimacy.  New York: Villard Books.

[viii] Burleson, Mary H., et al.  (1991).  “Heterosexual Activity and Cycle Length Variability: Effect of Gynecological Maturity.”  Physiology & Behavior, 50, 863–866.

[ix] Ellison, Carol Rinkleib.  (2000).  Women’s Sexualities.  Oakland: New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

[x] Kaplan, Helen Singer.  (1984, October).  “Desire ? Why and How It Changes.” Redbook, 58.  As cited in Komisaruk & Whipple, 1995.

[xi] Shapiro, D.  (1983).  “Effect of Chronic Low Back Pain on Sexuality.”  Medical Aspects of Human Sexuality, 17, 241–245.  As cited in Komisaruk & Whipple, 1995.

[xii] Whipple, Beverly & Barry R. Komisaruk.  (1985).  “Elevation of Pain Threshold by Vaginal Stimulation in Women.”  Pain, 21, 357–367.

[xiii] Catania, Joseph A. & Charles B. White.  (1982).  “Sexuality in an Aged Sample: Cognitive Determinants of Masturbation.”  Archives of Sexual Behavior, 11(3), 237–245.

[xiv] Charnetski, Carl J. & Francis X. Brennan.  (2001).  Feeling Good Is Good For You: How Pleasure Can Boost Your Immune System and Lengthen Your Life.  Emmaus: Rodale Press, Inc.

[xv] Weeks, David J.  (2002).  “Sex for the Mature Adult: Health, Self-Esteem and Countering Ageist Stereotypes.”  Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 17(3), 231–240.

[xvi] Hurlbert, David Farley & Karen Elizabeth Whittaker.  (1991).  “The Role of Masturbation in Marital and Sexual Satisfaction: A Comparative Study of Female Masturbators and Nonmasturbators.”  Journal of Sex Education & Therapy, 17(4), 272–282.

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Posted in Owning Health, Owning Sexuality, Owning Your Body | 25 Comments »

Owning Pink: Embracing Our Girlytude

Wednesday, January 20th, 2010

neon-pink-tutu

Hiya Pinkies,

Lissa here with some reflections on the concept upon which Owning Pink was originally conceived. Remember back when this was all about just owning our girlytude? Though our community has evolved into something far, far greater – a place where we are free to be precisely who we are and hold space for others to do the same – it all started as an invitation to OWN the parts of ourselves that make us uniquely female (and, as such, powerful beyond imagine).

Frankly, I revel in the fact that I was born a woman.  As a baby girl, I got to wear frilly tutu confections and pink head frosting.  As a toddler, I wrapped baby dolls in blankets and held them tight to my chest so they could nurse from my breasts, just like my mother did with my baby brother.  As a young girl, I pranced like a princess, pirouetted on tippie toe, and painted rainbows and unicorns in pastel purples, teal green, sunshine yellow, and carnation pink. I donned tiaras and twirled batons and collected china dolls with porcelain faces and rosebud lips. I curled my hair with pin curls, took hula dancing lessons, and wore panties with ruffles.

Growing into my teen years, I toned down my prissyness a wee bit, just to be cool- but I doubt I fooled anyone.  Princess costumes made way for pointe shoes, singing at the top of my lungs in high school musicals, and wrist corsages adorning hoop skirt prom dresses.  As I got older, my unique femininity evolved.  Cancan dancing with my girlfriends to the tunes of Grease trained me well for sashaying my hips to salsa music while wearing a white silk bridal gown and delicate veil.  Sitting around campfire circles with my karmic sisters led to giggles and grins and glorious tales of girlness.

Later, when my body flourished with the ultimate face of femininity, round and curvy with a baby moving inside of me, I came to experience the female experience as something even deeper than tutus and pastels and prom dresses. As a soon-to-be-mother, you learn to appreciate your body for the vessel that it is, the pleuripotential creator of all life.  Then, as the mother of a daughter, the whole cycle begins anew, and I revel in the girlytude of my little one, who spins and twirls and wants me to curl her hair and paint her toenails. It’s enough to make me deeply appreciate the divine feminine within me and within all women. I find myself bowing deeply to the sacred Goddess I know I am, deep in the heart of me.

So when I find myself cursing my vagina, complaining about menstrual blood, bitching about stretch marks, or otherwise dissing my gender, I remind myself that it’s all part of the female package, that you can’t cherry pick what it means to be a woman. You have to take the whole kit and kaboodle. And that’s just the beginning.

When I teach workshops about Owning Sexuality, we often talk about what it means to truly own your body and your sexual self.  One woman, who is married with three kids, said she realized that she needed to take responsibility for her sexuality, rather than expecting her partner to read her mind and meet all of her needs. Rather than lashing out at her husband because he wasn’t making her feel loved and nurtured enough, she needed to love and nurture herself first.  Another woman said that she has spent her whole life hating her femininity, bad-mouthing her yoni, and wishing she had been born male. Then she wondered why her sense of self suffered.  By learning to reclaim her feminine self, she was able to step more fully into the beautiful being she is.

If you’re one of those women who has work to do in order to appreciate being feminine, let us all hold out our arms in Pink sisterhood and invite you to open yourself to the blooming flower that you are.  Only when we embrace all aspects of ourselves can we be truly whole.

Own it, sister!

Yours in Pink love,

Lissa

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Posted in Lissa's personal yada yada yada, Owning Menopause, Owning Motherhood, Owning Sexuality, Owning You, Owning Your Body, Personal Empowerment, The Color Pink | 1 Comment »

Sex Is Good For Your Health: A 30 Day Sex Challenge

Friday, January 8th, 2010

Couple-making-love-002

Hiya Pinkies! How’s the second week of 2010 going for you? I just read something that inspired me to write about your favorite topic- SEX (yes, it’s true- the Pretty Pink Pussy Tour is still Owning Pink’s #1 most heavily trafficked post). CNN correspondent Elizabeth Cohen reported about Sadie Nardini and her husband, who resolved to have sex every day in December to help them fight his-and-hers vices: ciggies and chocolate. Lo and behold, guess what happened? Not only did they find their cravings curbed, but they felt better, slept better, and didn’t get the usual winter viruses that typically plague them.

Apparently, their experiment worked so well, they’re planning to continue it into January. My guess is that, in addition to the evident health benefits, Sadie and her husband find themselves more loving, more connected, and hell- more sexually satisfied!

It got me thinking (and feeling a little…uh…sparkly, if you know what I mean). What if, instead of wallowing in the Winter Blues that seem to be afflicting many of the people I know, those of us with ready and willing partners snuggle in front of the fireplace and resolve to whoop it up a bit? After all, sex is good for you. Just ask Dr. Beverly Whipple, a leading sex researcher who famously named the G Spot and just co-wrote The Orgasm Answer Guide. I interviewed Beverly when I was researching my upcoming book What’s Up Down There? Questions You’d Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend. Here are some of the many health benefits to sex and orgasm.

Engaging in acts of sexual expression may:

  1. Help you live longer.[i][ii][iii]
  2. Lower your risk of heart disease and stroke if you have sex twice/week or more.[iv]
  3. Reduce your risk of breast cancer.[v]
  4. Bolster your immune system.[vi]
  5. Help you sleep.[vii]
  6. Make you appear more youthful.[viii]
  7. Improve your fitness.[ix]
  8. Help protect against endometriosis.[x]
  9. Enhance fertility.[xi]
  10. Regulate menstrual cycles. [xii][xiii]
  11. Relieve menstrual cramps.[xiv]
  12. Help carry a pregnancy to full term.[xv]
  13. Relieve chronic pain.[xvi][xvii][xviii]
  14. Help reduce migraine headache pain in some individuals.[xix]
  15. Improve quality of life.[xx][xxi][xxii]
  16. Reduce the risk of depression.[xxiii]
  17. Lower stress levels.[xxiv][xxv]
  18. Improve self esteem.[xxvi]
  19. Improves intimacy with your partner.[xxvii]
  20. Help you grow spiritually.[xxviii][xxix][xxx]

The evidence is mounting. Sex and orgasm aren’t just good – they’re good for you.

So go ahead and resolve to try something sexy for 2010. If you don’t have a partner, don’t worry. Orgasm benefits you, with or without a partner, so fly solo if need be.

What do you think, Pinkies? You all get shy when we start talking about sex, but speak up! Tell us what you think. Share your experiences, and let’s get this party started.

Hot and bothered,

Dr. Lissa

[i] Davey Smith, George, et al.  (1997).  “Sex and Death: Are They Related? Findings from the Caerphilly Cohort Study.” BMJ ? British Medical Journal, 315, 1641–1644.

[ii] Palmore, E.  (1982).  “Predictors of the Longevity Difference: A Twenty-Five Year Follow-Up.”  The Gerontologist, 22, 513–518.

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[iv] Ebrahim, S., et al.  (2002).  “Sexual Intercourse and Risk of Ischaemic Stroke and Coronary Heart Disease: The Caerphilly Study.” Journal of Epidemiology Community Health, 56, 99–102.

[v] Lê, M.G., et al. (1989).  “Characteristics of Reproductive Life and Risk of Breast Cancer in a Case-Control Study of Young Nulliparous Women.”  Journal of Clinical Epidemiology, 42(12), 1227–1233.

[vi] Charnetski, Carl J. & Francis X. Brennan.  (2001).  Feeling Good Is Good For You: How Pleasure Can Boost Your Immune System and Lengthen Your Life.  Emmaus: Rodale Press, Inc.

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[viii] Weeks, David & Jamie James.  (1998).  Secrets of the Superyoung.  New York: Berkley Books

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[x]Meaddough, Erika L., et al.  (2002).  “Sexual Activity, Orgasm and Tampon Use Are Associated with a Decreased Risk for Endometriosis.”  Gynecologic and Obstetric Investigation, 53, 163–169.

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[xiii] Burleson, Mary H., et al.  (1991).  “Heterosexual Activity and Cycle Length Variability: Effect of Gynecological Maturity.”  Physiology & Behavior, 50, 863–866.

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[xvii] Shapiro, D.  (1983).  “Effect of Chronic Low Back Pain on Sexuality.”  Medical Aspects of Human Sexuality, 17, 241–245.  As cited in Komisaruk & Whipple, 1995.

[xviii] Whipple, Beverly & Barry R. Komisaruk.  (1985).  “Elevation of Pain Threshold by Vaginal Stimulation in Women.”  Pain, 21, 357–367.

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[xxi] Warner, Pamela & John Bancroft.  (1988).  “Mood, Sexuality, Oral Contraceptives and the Menstrual Cycle.”  Journal of Psychosomatic Research, 32(4/5), 417–427.

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[xxiv] Charnetski, Carl J. & Francis X. Brennan.  (2001).  Feeling Good Is Good For You: How Pleasure Can Boost Your Immune System and Lengthen Your Life.  Emmaus: Rodale Press, Inc.

[xxv] Weeks, David J.  (2002).  “Sex for the Mature Adult: Health, Self-Esteem and Countering Ageist Stereotypes.”  Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 17(3), 231–240.

[xxvi] Hurlbert, David Farley & Karen Elizabeth Whittaker.  (1991).  “The Role of Masturbation in Marital and Sexual Satisfaction: A Comparative Study of Female Masturbators and Nonmasturbators.”  Journal of Sex Education & Therapy, 17(4), 272–282.

[xxvii] Weeks, David J.  (2002).  “Sex for the Mature Adult: Health, Self-Esteem and Countering Ageist Stereotypes.”  Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 17(3), 231–240.

[xxviii] Gardella, Peter.  (1985).  Innocent Ecstasy: How Christianity Gave America an Ethic of Sexual Pleasure.  New York: Oxford University Press.

[xxix] Keesling, Barbara.  (2000).  Rx Sex: Making Love is the Best Medicine.  Alameda: Hunter House Inc., Publishers.

[xxx] Ogden, Gina.  (2001, August 14, accessed 2009, November).  “Spiritual Passion and Compassion in Late-Life Sexual Relationships.” [Online]. Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality.  http://www.ejhs.org/volume4/Ogden.htm.

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