Owning Pink Bloggers

Promise yourself to express love in your life. Love will come back to you 10-fold.

You Never Know When!

Steve Sisgold's picture

It’s nice to be back in California after a very exciting trip to my old college campus to do a keynote, my hometown to talk at a bookstore and the nation's capitol to do an in-house training.

Reflecting back on my tour there were many great moments I will always relish and one that even challenged me to grow and practice what I teach.

When I stood up to embark on my journey and step off of the plane, a man in front of me didn’t leave his seat, so I nodded at him, and slowly proceeded to walk forward.

Suddenly I heard that man shout, “ Hey man how about letting people in front of you leave first” as I felt a hand angrily push my back and I was swept forward by its force.

Man, did that trigger me. I immediately was transported to junior high school as old feelings in my body returned. It was as if I was just pushed by older bullies who pushed me in the cafeteria line. It reminded me that you never know when an old memory, still alive in your cellular memory will resurface. Well, mine sure did and I must admit to you, for several moments I had thoughts of pushing him back and much much worse, as if I would be pushing back all of the bullies from my past.

After several moments of seething anger and having a few fantasies of pushing this man onto the baggage claim wheel with the luggage, I thought to myself, “ These thoughts are not doing anything but making me more stressed”, so I stopped and took a few deep breaths and asked myself, “What would the Dalai Lama do in this situation?”

Compassion

I sat down and listened inside and came up with, “I am going to be compassionate and understand that this man must be very angry and sad in his life, to explode so quickly”, so I went up to him and shared,” I am truly sorry. I thought you were staying on the plane. I didn’t intentionally get off before you. Sorry” He returned my apologies with, “ F you man, whatever” and his body was screaming for an excuse to fight. For a moment it was as if I never left junior high and guys like him who were so angry that they would do anything to fight. Many familiar feelings came flooding into my body as I looked into his aggressive angry eyes.

So I decided to walk away and for several moments see-sawed between thoughts of compassion and wishing I was a black belt expert so I go back and chop him up and get revenge for all the kids who ever got picked on or pushed by a bully. Wow, my mind had so many scary cinematic episodes, all in about 2 minutes. Before I left the airport, I sat down and breathed deeply until I felt calm and ready to let go.

This incident once again confirmed to me how many cellular memories live inside of us and can be triggered at any time. The key is what we do when they arise. In my mind only, I got close to taking out revenge for past bully incidents, but fortunately, I chose compassion and to let go…and it was not easy.

And by the way, as I left the airport, I also thought “Now this would make an interesting blog to share as I bet others go through incidents like this.”

I would love to hear from you about this.

Blessings  Steve

www.onedream.com

Comments

Nazmie's picture

FFTVMWqaCBnaJf

The bouquet and btnuooniere are just too much! Great idea's to incorporate symbols of your life together and Kristen's history into your wedding.

Anonymous's picture

The Catholic Girl

I can completely relate to your story. I am, what most of my friends call, passive, cool and collected. I have always been complimented on my style but little do they know that anger wells up in me quite often and that little Catholic Girl (your Dalai Lama) reminds me to be patient, calm and kind. It is extremely hard for me at times because I grew up being bullied and mistreated. My passive nature never retaliated. Memories always swell up in my mind. The memories become quite vivid and painful. I can feel the knots inside of me twisting and turning. I try to shift my thoughts always to how I would like to be treated if I was this person. I think that they must be frustrated or angry with other aspects in their life. It is then that I forgive them and, even so, I express empathy. I don't always get the same treatment from others, I admit, but when those emotions arise, I try and remember that I should embrace them, forgive myself, and that it doesn't serve me in anyway, shape or form to harbor these emotions. It gets easier everytime and to my benefit...absolutely because I am a more content person and I really am more patient, kind, and cool.

When you comment on an Owning Pink blog post, we invite you to be authentic and loving, to say what you feel, to hold sacred space so others feel heard, and to refrain from using hurtful or offensive language. Differing opinions are welcomed, but if you cannot express yourself in a respectful, caring manner, your comments will be deleted by the Owning Pink staff.