Thank you Lissa!
Your messages are always such great reminders for me.
xo

Thank you so much for your feedback. I'm so happy this resonates with you.

Keep loving right where you are and make peace with wherever you are on that dial...

Much love
Lissa

thanks once again Lissa for hitting the nail on the head - you are going where no-one else has as far as pushing the boundaries of heart-felt living for us women living in the modern, crazy world of today..
I was just feeling a bit 'down on myself' when I read this. But I also recognise that my intensity when turned up can be almost too much for others, they are overwhelmed. Which has always been another reason to be'down on myself' when remembering this later.. no win situations! So thanks for reminding me it is OK to be either, anytime!!

I'm in the process of loving myself across the dial and accepting that sometimes feeling like a 1 is what happens right before I burst through to a whole new level of being a 72 or 89 or 112, ONLY IF I accept that 1 with all my heart and don't try to jump to a "better" number. We're meant to live the full spectrum of being human, not just the really fun parts. Another beautifully written article, Lissa.

Hi Lissa,
this line i loved, [Don’t judge where you are. Don’t make one setting better or worse than another. Just be with what is and let that be “just right.”] for a long time i have been bombarded with messages from parents, boyfriends, friends, be perfect, be sexy, keep your house clean, don't be slob, be a perfect housewife/mother, find a perfect husband, stand up for yourself, don't voice an opinion if it will cause a fight, (read an article who also tells you how to; be sexy, how to clean a house in no time, how to whip up a fantastic meal in no time, don't do this, don't do that...do it this way/that way...not knowing who to listen, who is right or who is wrong - BUT now i know, i see the light.... I KNOW...THAT IS WHO.! (and only me knows)what is best for me and to ONLY listen to ME. And yes there are days were i don't have the strenght and motivation to appear perfect, sexy, to be a good mother, a good wife, and yes i stuff up, make mistakes, (don't people realise they do to; at times???)and to make a mistake - how terrible it feels when you point it out with all that drama....so what, i made a mistake, the world will still go on...so lets get on with it and move on...

As usual, another sensational post, Lissa! I have found this sacred balance of "being enough" to be an issue in my life of late, too, and the way I best know how to deal with it is to remind myself that I simply can't please everybody. If I'm going to listen to other people's opinions of me, then I will always fall prey to either being "not enough" or "too much," and this vicious cycle will go round and round. However, by recognizing that I just need to sit back and be me regardless of who that is, I give myself permission to walk away from the game. Granted, I am human, so this is a tremendous balancing act - no doubt. Still, it is totally worth it because I feel more comfortable in my own skin each and every day. What an accomplishment that is!

Thanks, lovely!

I work in theatre in the UK and one of the things I do is teach workshops - both children and adults. We do a lot of work with 'playing levels' - 1 being very small and subtle like close-ups for film acting, and 10 being over-sized pantomime, so I found it interesting to think in terms of levels of 'shininess'. I also think it's to do with presence - there's a really interesting book on the subject by Patsy Rodenburg, where she talks about 3 levels of presence. 1)Present only with oneself. 2) Present to the world / audience / friend / partner etc. 3) Pushing too hard. I recommend it to everybody - it's very human and humane.

I want to thank you too for the messages from my inner pilot light, although I know that's a bit like thanking your parents for your Christmas presents when it was really Father Christmas! They're great to read, and usually make me smile. The trouble is - I read them, then get on with my work, and it's easy to forget there is such a thing as an inner pilot light. I wonder how we can remind ourselves during the day...? It would be great if a little blue flame pinged up every so often in the middle of my screen when I'm writing a play or something!

Oh - and I'm a Goldilocks 7 today...

I really enjoyed your article. :)

I can totally relate!

I am ok with myself, but at times I just can't figure out how to give others (in a healthy way) the "number" they need from me (because I am not just a taker, but a giver as well, and not totally self-absorbed).

It is hard to find a balance because when I enjoy my "number" in the moment, other people find that I am unstable.

I do agree too that life is not just a basic comatos line, but rather like an activity so that wave go up and down in their much needed pattern.

If others realized that, then their rejection wouldn't be so huge.

This post reminds of the very reason I started following you a few months ago after watching your Ted talk! You can so relate!! Thank you for the big fat reminder to love ourselves...exactly as we are...in this very moment. In my own personal journey, I go from..."am I doing enough??"...to "am I moving too fast??" about 10 to 12 times all in the same day! When this happens, I sit myself right down, take a few moments of silence and say "I am perfect just the way I am."
Thank you Thank you for being there for us all Lissa!

I loved this post! I spent the majority of my life feeling like I wasn't "enough"...this caused me to try my hardest to be perfect. I tried to be exactly what everyone wanted me to be. I became pretty darn good at that. Then discovered that in my relationships I was often intimidating because I was just too perfect! Helllloooo?? Talk about confused. My ex-husband actually told me that one of his biggest problems with me was that I was just too good...I always did exactly what I was supposed to do and that was just intimidating to him! (Not the cause of our divorce - but something I have pondered ever since)

I have two daughters. They are NOT perfect and I adore them both. I have told them that I want them to make mistakes, talk too loud, say the wrong thing, dance when they should be sitting still, where the wrong clothes...life is messy. Sometimes you will get too loud when you're angry (heaven forbid), sometimes you will cry...I stand up and clap when I watch The Voice and my husband loves it even though he would NEVER do that! The most important lesson we can learn in life is that it really is totally OK to just be YOU!

Love what you've written about not enough and being too much. My problem is that I can't get over what I "should have been". Have this undying feeling that I didn't get the break I was supposed to get (entertainment business or famous for a big contribution). I wonder sometimes if I lived that type of life before and it's in my soul. Not afraid to tell people I was "born to be something big". One of my closest friends recently told me that if you know me well enough, you will see my turmoil and discontent with where I am. Need to be happy with "what I've got" and who I've become, but I'm always unsettled. However, in some circles, like you, I'm too much. I'm very outgoing, have been places that other haven't and think about things and share things that others never thought of. I even have to be mindful about not intimidating people at times.

While I certainly didn't transform by reading what you wrote, it sure helps to know that others have those ups and downs/self doubt, etc. Thank you Lisa. You give many people encouragement and inspiration!!!

Absolutely delicious post Lissa!!!! Just got done reading and commenting on an emotional one, so I love this!!! Smile!
Comfortable being me!