The first of the winter storms hit Northern California today. The sky opened up and torrents of water poured out of the sky, like a waterfall in the desert. After a long, dry summer, the ground is drinking it in, but not fast enough. The earth is so starved for moisture, it’s as if it’s afraid to drink too fast and wind up drunk. Flooding is inevitable.
As winter approaches California, we know the rains will come. The months of sunny days cannot last forever. At some point, weather will keep us from playing on the beach and hiking through the mountains. Storms are sure to come, as predictable as the seasons.
The Storms Are Gonna Come
It got me thinking. Isn’t life just the same? We live through times of sunshine, when flowers bloom and blessings abound, and yet, we always know the storms will come. It’s been almost four years since my Perfect Storm hit. January 2010 will mark the four year anniversary of my father’s death, which coincides with my daughter’s four year birthday. Back then, I thought the rain would never end. I had a C-section, then within two weeks, my dog died, my brother ended up in liver failure (he’s okay!) and my beloved father died of a brain tumor. Then, six months later, my husband cut two fingers off his hand with a table saw (after 8 hours in surgery, they’re back on.)
When all this happened, I kept waiting for another flood, another bolt of lightening, more rain. But gradually, the rain stopped, the clouds passed, and the sun came out. Since that time, it has sprinkled in my life, the occasional spring shower that’s enough to darken your day. But no more big storms- yet.
The Sun Can’t Always Shine
The last few years has been a great run. Blessings abound. I couldn’t feel more grateful. Not to be a pessimist, but I know the storms will come again. Just like today’s downpour, I know that the sky will open up, and tragedy will befall my life again some day. Someone I love dearly might get sick. My health could decline. Financial ruin could hit. I might have to say goodbye to someone I’m not ready to lose. Another Perfect Storm could sweep through and leave my life, once again, in pieces. It’s enough to make you live in fear of when the rain might once more fall.
Why Live In Fear?
But I don’t feel afraid, the way I used to. In the past, if I happened to mention that no tragedy had struck for a while, I would knock wood, as if the very mention of such things might make them happen. Now, I don’t do that anymore. I am not naïve. I know tragedy will strike again. But why worry about it now? Why chip away at my mojo by pondering all I have to lose, when I’m not in control of my destiny anyway?
Yesterday, I laced up my shoes and went for a hike, not knowing what today would hold. Prancing around in the sunshine, I waved my arms over my head and danced on the beach. Today, I stayed inside. But as soon as the rain lets up, I will be back outside, waving my arms to the music in my head and stomping through the puddles.
You Gotta Live! You Just Gotta Live!
The way I see it, you can’t let the possibility of life’s storms keep you from living. I like to think I’m stockpiling mojo these days and that the next time a storm hits, I will have reserves built up. Even more importantly, I hope I will remember that the last time a storm washed through, it catalyzed a necessary period of transformation for me. It’s always hard to realize that when you’re in the middle of the storm, but I hope that- next time- I will see it for the growth experience I know it will be, rather than cursing it and dwelling on the pain and loss. It’s so easy for me to see the blessings that have arisen as the result of my Perfect Storm, now that it has passed. Maybe next time, I’ll ride out the storm with the peace of knowing that I will be okay, that God and the Universe will not give me anything I can’t handle, and that this too shall pass. That is my hope. When that time comes, if I forget, will you send me this post, Pinkies? I want to make sure I remember that I believe the sun will always shine again, even in our darkest hour.
Right now, I can hear the rain beginning to slow. Instead of the garden hoses of water that pummeled my sliding glass door earlier, I hear a gentle lull of raindrops. Maybe the sun will come out tomorrow.
Are You Enjoying Today or Are Always Waiting For The Other Shoe To Drop?
What about you Pinkies? Do you fear the next storm, or are you able to revel in the sun that shines today? Can you see the blessings the rain brings, the verdant growth that springs from the earth when the rains come? The transformations that get catalyzed when you live through your own Perfect Storm? What do you do to fortify yourself, to help you face the next storm with grace, peace, trust, and faith?
Shoring up for future storms, knowing all the while the sun will shine again,
Lissa
