Posts Tagged ‘Christiane Northrup’

Owning Your Body: Your Most Trusted Advisor

Wednesday, January 27th, 2010

Dearest Pinkies, please welcome Stacey Curnow, a wonderful writer and beautiful spirit we found milling around the Pink Posse Blog. Stacey works as a certified nurse-midwife and life coach in North Carolina. Check out her work and her blog at www.midwifeforyourlife.com. Please give Stacey a warm welcome, and enjoy her wise words on the wisdom of the body.

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I consider my body my most trusted advisor. I think it assimilates information from the Universe that I can’t understand fully at first. You see, I know the Universe wants my best life, but sometimes I don’t heed its advice – sometimes I’m convinced I don’t even hear it.

It’s like Oprah says: Life sends you messages – first it will put a pebble in your path, then a rock, and then a brick wall. If I don’t hear the plink of the pebble, the rock shows up – usually as a bodily symptom. I pay attention because I really want to avoid hitting that brick wall.

If I ignore my body’s messages, it’s capable of great drama. In fact, I’ve seen my body produce some Oscar-worthy performances.

I work as a nurse-midwife in a hospital. I consult with physicians when I am caring for a woman who is considered high-risk and occasionally I don’t agree with the physician’s plan for managing a particular case.

One night I told a doctor that I was disinclined to follow his plan and he responded by saying, “That’s why I’m here, to tell you what to do.” Those weren’t his exact words, but you get the point.

I knew the doctor’s plan was not going to cause harm and I didn’t want further conflict, so I followed his orders. Within a few hours I lost my voice. My throat hurt and I couldn’t speak above a whisper.

As soon as I got home I looked up laryngitis in my well-worn copy of Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life. I believe the book provides clues to understanding the messages underlying an illness or imbalance in your body. If you decipher these messages and, more importantly, act on them by changing your thinking, you will improve your life.

For laryngitis she writes that the probable cause is “So mad you can’t speak. Fear of speaking up. Resentment of authority.” I was struck by the truth of this: I was mad. I had been afraid to speak up to the doctor. And I resented that he didn’t seem to value my expertise.

The new thought pattern she offers is “I am free to ask for what I want. It is safe to express myself. I am at peace.” I applied this new thought to my mind like a healing balm and got my voice back quickly after that.

The affirmation also helped me gain insight into the fact that I don’t need to compel the doctors to agree with me or even to see my side. All I can do is use my best judgment and present a plan of care. And trust that all is well.

For me, being at peace means that my worth is not predicated on others valuing me. I value me.

Since that epiphany I’ve had other differences of opinion with my physician colleagues but I haven’t had that sense that my value as a practitioner was diminished. And I’ve never lost my voice again.

Many of my coaching clients are women in their middle years and a common issue is insomnia. We all know that there are lots of suggestions for how to improve your sleep through better habits – like eliminating caffeine, increasing magnesium, exercise, routine bedtimes and getting acupuncture. All of these strategies address the hormonal changes that come with menopause.

But insomnia is often a way our body clues us into a deeper truth about ourselves. Christiane Northrup, M.D., in her excellent “The Wisdom of Menopause,” writes that insomnia and fatigue are frequently “the result of unprocessed and unresolved emotions such as anger, sadness, or anxiety,” which accompany the enormous changes of midlife.

She encourages her readers to identify the emotions that challenge them and look for their underlying meanings. Are you anxious about a daughter getting into her preferred college? Do you feel guilty about the things haven’t gotten done in a day? Do you feel resentful that everything seems to depend on you?

Louise Hay’s affirmation for insomnia is “I lovingly release the day and slip into peaceful sleep, knowing tomorrow will take care of itself.” When you have good sleep “hygiene,” when you address the probable causes — and when you release the negative emotions that occupy your waking life—you will, most likely, find yourself able to sleep like a baby.

You don’t need a copy of Louise Hay’s or Christiane Northrup’s books (although I highly recommend them!) because all you really need to know is that if you ignore the wisdom available to you, your body can create a painful drama.

On the other hand, the Universe wants you to know that you are worthy of love and respect and you can have a life filled with health, happiness, connection and joy – you just have to listen.

Do you think your body may be trying to tell you something right now?

Paying loving attention,

Stacey

Mojo Monday: OWN Your Accomplishments

Monday, January 18th, 2010

done

Dear Pinkies, please welcome the brilliant Danielle Vieth, a wonderful writer and wise Pinkie who came to the rescue a few weeks ago, when some of us were feeling surprised that the New Year hadn’t filled us with new ideas, new dreams, or new energy the way we expected. Phew, thank you, Danielle, for reminding us to slow down, take stock, and allow for things to happen in their own time. It’s a message we can’t hear often enough – and makes for a perfect Mojo Monday exercise.

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Happy Mojo Monday, Pinkies!

A fresh new decade and a new year are upon us. With the New Year comes new goals, desires and intentions. If you and your goals feel less than ready to hit the ground running, it could be that you could use a little closure on the past year. A lot goes down in a year and watching the ball drop in Times Square isn’t always enough of a wrap-up. In short, we need to take stock of where we’ve been in order to get to where we’re going.

It’s my pleasure to share today’s Mojo Monday exercise with you. I first learned this from the ever-inspiring women’s health pioneer, Dr. Christiane Northrup, on one of our monthly telegatherings for Team Northrup. Dr. Northrup shares this exercise with us every January as a reminder of the importance of bringing closure to the old in order to make room for the new.

It’s tricky for our brains and bodies to step into this New Year if we don’t feel any sense of completion from the year that just passed. What’s the solution? Dr. Northrup suggests making a list of EVERYTHING you did/accomplished/completed in 2009. Noting all you did in the past year serves as a solid foundation for what’s next. This is the step to take before creating goals for 2010. Acknowledgement of the year’s accomplishments gives your brain, your ego and your central nervous system a sense of completion so you can stop running the “I’ll never get it done” program and clear the decks for what’s to come. I know we all have big, Pink dreams for 2010, so let’s give them a solid launching pad.

Here’s how:

  1. Grab your journal and set aside some time to reflect upon your year. Find a favorite spot, light a candle, turn off your phone. Do whatever you need to do to clear your head and create reflective space.
  2. Get out your calendar/daytimer from 2009 to jog your memory of what you did and when. (We can’t possibly remember all 365 days.)
  3. List any and all accomplishments, completions, successes, and personal victories. No accomplishment is too small. If it comes to mind, it makes the list.
  4. Comb through each area of your life: career, family, spirituality, finance, love, sex, social life, health, fun, etc. Be sure to list accomplishments that go beyond the traditional definition of success.  (Did you speak your truth or create a boundary?  Did you laugh harder than ever?  Did you surprise and delight someone or yourself? What did you start/quit/join/find/create?) In looking back you’ll be amazed at all you’ve done in a mere 12 months.
  5. To ramp up your Mojo, share your list with a loving friend/partner/spouse. (Important: Pick someone who is truly your cheerleader. No naysayers allowed!) The benefits of sharing are twofold. This person who knows and loves you can remind you of anything you may have forgotten and serve as a witness to all you’ve accomplished. Having a witness to your successes validates them and anchors your sense of completion.
  6. Once you’ve finished, breathe it all in, celebrate like crazy, look at your list and affirm, “Yes, I did that.”

Now you can step fully into 2010 and you and your New Year are ready to rock.

Feeling complete,

Danielle

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Pat Yourself On The Back For a Job Well Done

Tuesday, December 8th, 2009

successI just met two deadlines for two books in one week. The manuscript for What’s Up Down There? Questions You’d Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend was due December 1, and the edits on the galleys for my other book Encaustic Art: The Complete Guide To Creating Fine Art With Wax was due December 3. And I did it, Pinkies! I almost ignored my family over Thanksgiving in order to meet my deadline, but that didn’t seem Pink at all, so I put it off and then worked my tail off to catch up. But I did it!

That night, I went out with my girls to celebrate me and my accomplishments! We ate sushi, watched the full moon from the hot tub, and celebrated. Not only did I meet my deadline, but Dr. Christiane Northrup agreed to write the foreword for my gynecology book. WOO HOO! (A dream come true for me, Pinkies!) I am still reeling- and feeling the relief spread all through my body.

How often do you celebrate YOU? Think back though all of your accomplishments. How often have you taken the time to honor yourself and celebrate your success with those you love? Why is it that we readily share our worries, troubles, and woes while we squirrel away our successes as though they’re reasons to feel ashamed? What if we brought accomplishments out the closet and let the light of glory shine down upon them? What if we could honor them here, rather than hiding them?

I’ve often felt shy about my successes. While you’re sure to get girlfriend support when you’re in the midst of a divorce, who do you tell when four publishers are fighting over your book? Success may trigger people’s own insecurities. It’s not that they’re not happy for you, but your success may shine the light on what they consider their failures. Instead of jumping for joy, you may find that others try to diminish you. They simply can’t handle the light you radiate.

I used to feel hurt by this. Why should I dim my own light just to be accepted? Not that I want to be arrogant, but why can’t I celebrate my successes as vibrantly as I share my frustrations, fears, and failures? I’ve learned to keep quiet, to tone down my dial, and to make an effort to make others feel better.

But why? Why do we do this to each other? Why can’t we be expansive enough to feel another Pinkie’s joy without taking it personally? If you have good news, I want to hear it, Pinkies! I want you to write about how you’ve fallen in love, how you’ve found your dream job, how you’ve been selected for the top notch art show, how you found a literary agent, how your kid just wrote you a love letter, or how your boss just wrote a glowing review about you.  Why are we so hesitant to share the good? I promise, I won’t see it as self-promoting or arrogant. I will see it as a well-deserved revelry for the value that lies within you.

I am trying to keep this in mind as I face certain successes lately. I’m tempted to hide my good news, for fear that it will make you resent me (this is my wound in life, so I’m sensitive about it). But Owning Pink is all about telling the truth, being authentic, and spreading love throughout our community and sharing what’s real- the bad AND the good. Let’s set an example. Let’s make it okay to tell the truth, whatever the truth holds.

Let’s shake up the Pink Posse forum and invite all of us to not just share our trials, but to celebrate our triumphs. Let’s light fireworks and do a little dance when any one of us has a breakthrough.

But first, it all comes back to YOU. Do you honor yourself when good things happen? Do you throw your arms in the air and spin in circles while whooping it up with glee?  Do you believe that your good news is OUR good news? I do…

Believing and dying to dance in your light,

Lissa

Owning Your Dreams- Never, Ever Give Up on YOU

Tuesday, December 1st, 2009

IMG_0246When we started Owning Pink just over six months ago, I set a personal goal- I wanted to write books. I had already written a memoir that Barbara Poelle, my literary agent who I lovingly call Monkey Barbara, shopped around.  A whole slew of editors took the book to editorial boards, where it got shot down by a whole slew of marketing departments who didn’t know how to put it in a box. The glowing rejection letters piled up.

Set Goals, But Release Attachment to Specific Outcomes

But I refused to count this as failure. Instead, I figured that book just wasn’t ready to get published yet- or maybe, I wasn’t far enough along in my personal development to handle it. Either way, I still wanted to write books. I figured I’d wait for a Sign from the Universe. I decided to simply let go and let God.

Well, wouldn’t you know it. God took over.  A few months later, an editor from St. Martin’s Press, who was familiar with my writing, ran into my agent and said, “I have a book idea and your client is the perfect person to write it.”  When Rose Hilliard and I spoke about the project, Rose said the magic word, “empowering.” She wanted me to write a book answering the questions you’d only ask your gynecologist after three martinis. She figured we could use the opportunity to educate women as part of a greater goal to empower women to own who they really are. When Monkey Barbara was shopping the memoir, I felt like people kept putting me in a doctor box where I no longer fit comfortably, so I had resisted putting on my white coat, standing up on a pedestal and talking down to people. But I felt myself light up when Rose sent me the questions her girlfriends and female staffers at St. Martin’s had asked. Yes, I could use this book opportunity to help women Own Pink.  So I wrote a book proposal, prayed like mad, and once more- I surrendered it to the Universe.

The Universe Listened

Voila. Suddenly, I had not one but four publishing houses fighting over the book proposal I wrote. But I stuck with St. Martin’s Press, where Rose believed in me and gave me a chance to realize my dream. She had been an answer to prayer, and the synchronicity between her idea and my dream felt like one of those Signs from the Universe I listen to.  It honestly felt too good to be true. I mean- seriously- after a year of disappointment, an editor was going to just show up and hand me a book deal? Apparently, it’s that easy. You set goals, you release attachment to outcomes, and you just let go…

So I’ve been writing writing writing, and yesterday, I just sent the manuscript to Rose. I’M DONE, PINKIES!  Amazing authors helped me along the way- Bonk, Spook & Stiff author Mary Roach, sexpert Lou Paget who wrote The Great Lover Playbook, S Factor founder Sheila Kelley, Barbara Whipple (who famously named the G spot- opting against the chance to name it the Whipple Tickle), Tantric sex goddess Caroline Muir, piercing guru and The Piercing Bible author Elayne Angel, and Susan Crain Bakos, author of The Sex Bible.  And now- miracle of miracles- Dr. Christiane Northrup just agreed to write the foreword (Thank you Chris! I love you!)
Introducing My Book

Nine months from now, my book What’s Up Down There? Questions You’d Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend will be on book shelves. And my dream is that it will unleash a whole revolution of Pinkies owning it. Hey, when I dream, I dream big!

Writing this book has been such a blessing for me. You Pinkies submitted amazing questions- hundreds of them (thank you Pinkies! YOU made this book!) Your candor, wit, and vulnerability built the perfect skeleton so I could flesh out what we collectively know, feel, live.

So what’s the book about?  Just imagine if your best friend was a gynecologist and you could talk candidly about every question you’ve ever had about gynecology, sex, and women’s health, all while drinking a glass of wine and sharing a good laugh?  My girlfriends actually get to indulge in that kind of intimacy, asking me all the things they would never ask their doctors.  Most women don’t have a gynecologist at their beck and call, so they share girl talk amongst themselves, often perpetuating myths and repeating misinformation.  My goal is that What’s Up Down There? will help bridge that gap.  I tried to answer your questions with typical Pink style, aiming to demystify the female body and all its quirky, eccentric intricacies, while empowering you to learn, grow, and celebrate the curious oddities that make us women.  I say let’s invite the G spot, the scary metal duckbill, the bikini wax, and the feminine deodorant spray to come out of the closet.  Let’s put the maxi pads, the douche bags, the sex toys, and the clitoris out there on the table for discussion.  Let’s give vaginas a chance to shine, empowering women to embrace and own their femininity, with all its glorious pink power.

Now, the book is done, and I’m looking back on the magical journey that has lead me to this place in my life. You Pinkies were a big part of helping me realize my dream. That you care what I have to say helped convince publishers that there is an audience for what I write. And this is just the beginning. Somehow, I know and trust that there will be more books ahead. Maybe my memoir will even get published one day…

Never, Ever Give Up

The reason I wanted to share all this with you Pinkies is because I want to encourage you to never give up on your dreams. After a year of rejection, I might have convinced myself that I wasn’t good enough. If all those publishers passed on my book, I must lack the chops to be a professional author, right? After all, I had quit my job and spent a year of my life holed up in a cave writing a tell-all book. And it was all wasted, right? How many of you would have told yourself those stories if it had been you? How many would have given up on your dream?

Certainly, the gremlins of self-doubt jumped all over me, whispering evil nothings into my ear. I had dark nights of the soul when I lay silently in the dark, crying.  My anxiety mounted and niggling voices threatened to rob me of my mojo.  But I pulled out my Monster Spray (thanks Dana!) and clung to my dream. By golly, editorial boards could reject me, but nobody was going to take my dream away from me.  I guess, deep down, I’ve always had the confidence that- no matter what happens- I would land butter side up.

What about you Pinkies? What’s your dream? What’s keeping you from pursuing it? Are the gremlins getting you down? Are you afraid to take a Pleap (Pink leap of faith)? Or have you Pleaped and then Unpleaped, because things aren’t happening effortlessly?  Have you tried giving your dream a great big hug and then letting it go into the Universe?
Never, never, ever give up, Pinkies.
Never.

Still Pleaping,
Lissa

Owning Sexuality: The G-Spot- Fact or Fiction?

Thursday, July 30th, 2009

g-spotSince we’re beginning Healthy Thursdays here at Owning Pink, I thought I’d start with reprinting an article I co-wrote for www.bettyconfidential.com (I’m their OB/GYN on call). With Sexpert Amber Madison, we tackle the mythology of the G-spot, how to find the G-spot, and what it can do for you.

Much like the Loch Ness monster and the Bermuda Triangle, the G-Spot has a bit of an elusive existence. Technically, it’s not there. Sexually, many women can’t imagine their lives without it. So what is the G-Spot, where is it, and does it live up the hype?

Does the G-Spot really exist?

Dr. Lissa: According to the teacher in my Gross Anatomy lab, the answer is no. When we were gently dissecting the vagina, someone asked, “So where’s the G-Spot,” and my teacher, with his thick Eastern European accent, said, “Zer is no G-Spot in ze human female.” Okay, good to know. The rest of my medical training pretty much agreed with my Gross Anatomy professor. We were taught that the clitoris is the cornerstone of sexual arousal, and that those who swear they orgasm from vaginal intercourse do so by stimulating the clitoris through positioning, such that something is rubbing the clitoris directly or indirectly. But as is the case with much I learned in medical school, my patients tell me otherwise. Over the years, thousands of patients swear that there is a place on the anterior wall of the vagina that just hits the spot. So I asked an expert in the field once, and he told me that studies have been done where every part of the female vagina has been examined under the microscope, and there is nothing on the anterior wall of the vagina that looks any different than the rest of the vagina. Therefore, the G-Spot does not exist. Period. But I believe in many things I cannot see, so this rationale doesn’t completely work for me. Do I think there’s really a G-Spot? Yup. I think so. Is it the end-all be-all of sex? Nope.

Where is the G-Spot?

Dr. Lissa: Those who swear by the G-Spot say it lies 2-3 inches inside the vagina, on the anterior wall, just under the bladder. They describe this area as having a different ridgey texture than the rest of the smooth vagina (although I can tell you from examining tens of thousands of vaginas that all healthy vaginas before menopause are ridgey all over). Those who live for the G-Spot tell me that the sensations they experience from stimulation of the G-Spot are completely different than those they feel from stimulation of the clitoris. While the clitoris is much more sensitive and easily aroused, the G-Spot requires much deeper stimulation, but supposedly, results in much deeper orgasms. Is this true? It must be. Too many women say so – and I’m more inclined to believe them than the Eastern European Gross Anatomy teacher who swears it isn’t so. (For more anatomy, refer to the Pretty Pink Pussy Tour).

What sex positions are the best for stimulating the G-Spot?

Amber: Any sex position where the penis is rubbing against the front wall of the vagina is a good position to “hit the spot.” Many women find that doggy style, reverse cowgirl (girl on top turned backwards), or any other position where a guy is entering from behind works well. Whether you think you enjoy G-Spot stimulation or not, trying new sex positions can never be a bad idea. Many women will tell you that their bodies are changing with age. Positions that may not have done much for you a few years ago may feel completely different now.

Why can’t I find my G-Spot?

Dr. Lissa: If you’ve read the manuals, tried all the techniques, and can’t seem to locate your G-Spot, I’m with you, girlfriend. I am one of the MANY women who cannot personally find mine. Frankly, the clitoris works just fine for me, thank you very much, but I’m totally supportive of those women and their partners who want to go looking for their G-Spots. Happy hunting! I’m all about sexual exploration. Sure, Own Your Sexuality, see if you can experience multiple orgasms, work your way through the Kama Sutra, and hunt for that elusive G-Spot. But if you can’t find your G-Spot, don’t fret. You’re not alone. Most women can only experience orgasms through direct stimulation of the clitoris. While some of these women can orgasm through vaginal intercourse, it’s usually because they’ve mastered the art of positioning themselves and their partners into such a position that the clitoris gets some tender loving care. Remember that the ultimate goal of sex is intimacy. If you’re feeling sexually satisfied, don’t let yourself or your partner stress about achieving something beyond what you already have. You might get so caught up in G-Spot hunting that you forget to have fun.

If I find my G-Spot can I forget about my clitoris?

Amber: It’s very possible that you really enjoy vaginal stimulation or even the stimulation of one spot a few inches up your vagina. It’s also possible that as good as that feels, you can’t have an orgasm unless your clitoris is being stimulated as well. In that case, think of your G-Spot as something that adds to your orgasms, but doesn’t necessarily create them. Needing clitoral stimulation in order to have an orgasm doesn’t necessarily mean that your G-Spot doesn’t exist; it means it may act more as a booster shot. But no matter how sensitive your G-Spot, think of it as something that works with the clitoris, as opposed to instead of it.

Dr. Lissa: Recently, the G-Shot, which injects collagen into the G-spot in order to temporarily amplify the sensation of the G-spot, came to my attention. Does it work? I can’t say. It’s too early, but there are doctors performing this procedure around the country. Do I do this procedure. No. I guess I prefer not to inject foreign substances into people’s bodies if not medically necessary. But I’m not judging and have no problem with those who wish to explore.  For those of you who have been hunting for your G-spot and are looking to jazz up your sex life, I thought I’d bring it to your attention.  Just remember that for women, sexual arousal is largely mental. The best thing you can do to jazz up your sex life is to teach your body how to receive pleasure through self-cultivation (a fancy name for masturbation) and an active, sensual fantasy life.  Not only does teaching your body how to experience pleasure help your sex life, it also has many health benefits, as described on Christiane Northrup’s website.

To find out how healthy your sex life is, take the quiz. Want to know how much sex is enough? Here are the results of our straw poll. Or check out our Pink Guide To Orgasm, for how sex can help you prevent swine flu. And for those of you who wound up here by Google-searching “pretty pussy,” here are my thoughts on that. And for more thoughts on health and gynecology, check out Questions to Ask Your Gynecologist.

What about you Pinkies? Let’s take the G-spot out from under the covers and talk about it. Have you discovered yours? Does it rock your world? Or do you agree with my Eastern European Gross Anatomy that zer is no G-spot in ze human female? Tell us! We wanna know…

With Meg Ryan-like shrieks of pleasure,

Dr. Lissa