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Owning Your Body: Your Most Trusted Advisor

Wednesday, January 27th, 2010

Dearest Pinkies, please welcome Stacey Curnow, a wonderful writer and beautiful spirit we found milling around the Pink Posse Blog. Stacey works as a certified nurse-midwife and life coach in North Carolina. Check out her work and her blog at www.midwifeforyourlife.com. Please give Stacey a warm welcome, and enjoy her wise words on the wisdom of the body.

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I consider my body my most trusted advisor. I think it assimilates information from the Universe that I can’t understand fully at first. You see, I know the Universe wants my best life, but sometimes I don’t heed its advice – sometimes I’m convinced I don’t even hear it.

It’s like Oprah says: Life sends you messages – first it will put a pebble in your path, then a rock, and then a brick wall. If I don’t hear the plink of the pebble, the rock shows up – usually as a bodily symptom. I pay attention because I really want to avoid hitting that brick wall.

If I ignore my body’s messages, it’s capable of great drama. In fact, I’ve seen my body produce some Oscar-worthy performances.

I work as a nurse-midwife in a hospital. I consult with physicians when I am caring for a woman who is considered high-risk and occasionally I don’t agree with the physician’s plan for managing a particular case.

One night I told a doctor that I was disinclined to follow his plan and he responded by saying, “That’s why I’m here, to tell you what to do.” Those weren’t his exact words, but you get the point.

I knew the doctor’s plan was not going to cause harm and I didn’t want further conflict, so I followed his orders. Within a few hours I lost my voice. My throat hurt and I couldn’t speak above a whisper.

As soon as I got home I looked up laryngitis in my well-worn copy of Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life. I believe the book provides clues to understanding the messages underlying an illness or imbalance in your body. If you decipher these messages and, more importantly, act on them by changing your thinking, you will improve your life.

For laryngitis she writes that the probable cause is “So mad you can’t speak. Fear of speaking up. Resentment of authority.” I was struck by the truth of this: I was mad. I had been afraid to speak up to the doctor. And I resented that he didn’t seem to value my expertise.

The new thought pattern she offers is “I am free to ask for what I want. It is safe to express myself. I am at peace.” I applied this new thought to my mind like a healing balm and got my voice back quickly after that.

The affirmation also helped me gain insight into the fact that I don’t need to compel the doctors to agree with me or even to see my side. All I can do is use my best judgment and present a plan of care. And trust that all is well.

For me, being at peace means that my worth is not predicated on others valuing me. I value me.

Since that epiphany I’ve had other differences of opinion with my physician colleagues but I haven’t had that sense that my value as a practitioner was diminished. And I’ve never lost my voice again.

Many of my coaching clients are women in their middle years and a common issue is insomnia. We all know that there are lots of suggestions for how to improve your sleep through better habits – like eliminating caffeine, increasing magnesium, exercise, routine bedtimes and getting acupuncture. All of these strategies address the hormonal changes that come with menopause.

But insomnia is often a way our body clues us into a deeper truth about ourselves. Christiane Northrup, M.D., in her excellent “The Wisdom of Menopause,” writes that insomnia and fatigue are frequently “the result of unprocessed and unresolved emotions such as anger, sadness, or anxiety,” which accompany the enormous changes of midlife.

She encourages her readers to identify the emotions that challenge them and look for their underlying meanings. Are you anxious about a daughter getting into her preferred college? Do you feel guilty about the things haven’t gotten done in a day? Do you feel resentful that everything seems to depend on you?

Louise Hay’s affirmation for insomnia is “I lovingly release the day and slip into peaceful sleep, knowing tomorrow will take care of itself.” When you have good sleep “hygiene,” when you address the probable causes — and when you release the negative emotions that occupy your waking life—you will, most likely, find yourself able to sleep like a baby.

You don’t need a copy of Louise Hay’s or Christiane Northrup’s books (although I highly recommend them!) because all you really need to know is that if you ignore the wisdom available to you, your body can create a painful drama.

On the other hand, the Universe wants you to know that you are worthy of love and respect and you can have a life filled with health, happiness, connection and joy – you just have to listen.

Do you think your body may be trying to tell you something right now?

Paying loving attention,

Stacey

Tags: body clues, Christiane Northrup, doctor, laryngitis, life coach, louise hay, midwife, midwife for your life, oprah, stacey curnow, the wisdom of menopause
Posted in Alternative Health, Guest Pinkies, Healthy Thursday, Owning Health, Owning Your Body | 41 Comments »

Owning Surrender: Thoughts from Dr. Lee Lipsenthal

Sunday, January 10th, 2010

Dear Pinkies, it’s with great pleasure that I welcome back Dr. Lee Lipsenthal, an inspiring physician and mentor of mine, who inspired this post a couple of months ago. Lee was diagnosed not long ago with metastatic cancer and was given a 10% chance of survival. In a recent update of his status, he said, “I don’t recommend the combination of chemo and radiation to anyone. There’s no fun there. However, my cancer is responding beautifully and I am booking work for the summer after my two retreats!” Lee has generously agreed to allow us to reprint an article from his newsletter. Enjoy his intriguing insights on a theme that’s been up (and up and up) for us Pinkies, it seems, since the beginning of time: Surrendering Control.

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Letting go of control (Acceptance)

In my last piece, I had written about how making today a good day to die also makes today a great day to live while decreasing fear of death. I also mentioned that the two main “ingredients” of this state are gratitude and acceptance: gratitude for the people, things, memories, emotions, and events of your life and acceptance that you really have no control over most of it.

Gratitude is probably easy for most of you. I strongly suspect that the concept is usual and that you do feel grateful for things in your life. Acceptance is much harder, especially in the western mind-set and especially for physicians, as we are a ‘high need for control’ group.

Another way of describing acceptance is knowing that you have little control in your life. We often perceive that acceptance or acknowledging a lack of control is a sort of failure, whereas in the Zen mind-set (or even the Alcoholics Anonymous mind-set), acceptance is a great strength.

Why do we need to feel like we are in control? It’s simple, control, for most, equals safety. In our very basic neuro-physiological, survival based brains, safety means no immediate threats and this allows us to feel at ease. Remember, our brains were created/evolved to help us survive adversity and they do so whether we are conscious of it or not. It is easier to believe that we consciously make choices rather than accept that we are driven by unconscious neuro-physiology and chance occurrences. The majority of our choices are based on “gut feelings” which are really physiological events. Therefore, it’s your physiology that is in control. If you read Malcolm Gladwell’s book “Blink” you will learn that most of our choices are based on these subconscious events. Is it possible that a “gut feeling” is from a higher power? Yes I believe so, but it still doesn’t mean that you are in control. In this case it’s the higher power that is in control.

Let’s take the simple act of buying a soft drink at a 7-11. You are driving along and you become aware that you are thirsty or hot and want something wet and/or refreshing. Is this a choice or is you body/brain telling you something that finally enters you conscious awareness? I would say it’s the latter. So you pull your car (which you probably purchased to feel more powerful, sexy, free or safe – remember power is safety) into the parking lot of a 7-11. Why 7-11 – brand recognition, consistency and past positive experience equals safety.

You walk in, go to the cooler cases and pick out a 7-up. Why this choice? Safety. You liked 7-up in the past, it didn’t harm you and it met your wet/cooling needs. You may even look at other products, juices, sports drinks etc, but 9 out of 10 times you will be drawn to a safe choice. You looked at other products, therefore, you feel that you have made a “choice”, but you have not. Your need for safety chose 7-up. This is why, many years ago, the “new” Coke failed and Classic Coke was remarketed. People want safety. Do you really have choice?

Obsessive compulsive personality disorder (OCPD) is the extreme version of these survival mechanisms. For a person with OCPD the ‘threats’ are many, anxiety is significant and solace can be found in repetitive behaviors, which provide routine and a sense of safety. But how many people with OCPD are happy in their lives? Unfortunately, not many. They are ruled by the severe pressure to find safety, the need for control is high and the anxiety can be overwhelming.

Let me add one larger layer of lack of control. You cannot know the outcome of events in your life. I will paraphrase an old Chinese story, retold by Eckhard Tolle. A man wins a new car in a lottery. All his friends tell him how lucky he is. His only response is “maybe”. A few weeks later, he has an accident in the new car and ends up in the hospital. His friends tell him that it is a tragedy. His response is “maybe”. While he is in the hospital there is a nighttime electrical fire in his house. If he were there, he surely would have died. His friends tell him how lucky he is. His response is “maybe”. This story can go on forever, but the core element is that we really don’t know what the long-term outcome of any event or choice will be. We base choices on our projections of outcomes, but we really don’t know what will happen. How many “great ideas” in business or life fail? How many love relationships end up in divorce?

Have you been able to control the behaviors of your spouse, your children, your parents or even yourself. Just think of all the failed diet attempts. This can sound dismal to most.

So, how much control do you actually have, especially over the ‘big picture’? I would say, very little. This can be either disturbing or liberating. It is disturbing if it makes you feel unsafe. It is liberating if you can be present with this concept and even enjoy the surprise of what actually happens.

For religious individuals, the safety comes from a sense of “God’s will”. In this mind-set, there is a big picture that the person cannot know the “answer” to. For meditation practitioners, this insight comes from calm observation of the events in their lives. This observation can (not always) lead to a peaceful realization that control is not necessary.

If one accepts this lack of control, one can accept anything that arises and accept that it “maybe” good or bad and you wont know for sometime to come, if ever. Remember also that “maybe” is a reasonable response to any judgmental projection – this is ‘good’ or this is ‘bad’.

Whether you attribute this acceptance to a higher power or you own neuro-physiology, or both, it doesn’t matter (science and religion are both useful ways of understanding this phenomenon).

I am not suggesting an attitude of “screw it, I can’t control it anyhow”. I am suggesting that even when you are aware that there is no real control, you can still be guided by what socially, morally works for you. In this way, knowing that you tried well, loved well and served well makes every day a good day to live or die. It’s just a good day.

Combining this acceptance with gratitude, on a daily basis, liberates us and makes today a good day to live or die. It also makes the ‘ride’ that life gives us less predictable, more fun and there are surprises around every corner. Not bad at all – “maybe”!

I raise this issue, not because I believe that I have magical answers to life’s concerns, but because these are intriguing questions to ask and maybe pondering these questions will shift your perception a bit. How much time do we spend, planning, thinking, judging, choosing and being sure of our opinions? Is this time well spent?

Lissa’s Note: What about you, Pinkies? Can you let go and accept that you CANNOT control your life, no matter how much effort you expend? Does it give you peace to realize this? I don’t know about you, but although it does make me feel “unsafe,” it also takes the pressure off. It’s an invitation to go with the flow. Sure, there are times when I crave the illusion of control, the illusion of certainty. I would like to believe that I know, without a doubt, that I will be living in the same place, with the same people, doing the same job, being the same person- a year from now. And yet, I can’t possibly know this. Anything can change- at any time. All we have is right now- this moment. And in this moment, I invite you to find peace.

Letting go,

Lee and Lissa

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Tags: acceptance, blink, choices, death, doctor, eckhart tolle, finding balance in a medical life, lee lipsenthal, letting go of control, malcolm gladwell, obsessive compulsive personality disorder
Posted in Guest Pinkies, Owning Surrender | 6 Comments »

Be In Your Body

Tuesday, December 15th, 2009

This is one of a series of posts written during my retreat at Harbin Hot Springs last week.

I’m at Harbin Hot Springs on a much needed retreat with my dear friend, Mojo Mentor, and Green Goddess Tricia Barrett, and Tricia said (in the most loving way possible), “Lissa, you don’t spend much time in your body, do you?”

Of course I spend time in my body! I mean, I walk around in it every day. I eat into it. I pee and poop from it. My husband and I have sex with it. But I know that’s not what she means. I know she means that I don’t really inhabit it fully- and she’s right. I tend to live in my mind, which is a happy, lively, energizing place to be. My whole life has trained me to live in my mind.

Living In My Mind

Certainly, medical school claims to be about the body, but you don’t succeed in becoming a doctor by living in your body. You get through the agony of medical education by denying the body- overcoming the body, even- by living in your mind. Mind over matter, right? You ignore your body when it pleas for food in the midst of a 12-hour surgery. When your body tells you it wants to sleep, you tell it to shut up- you have work to do. When your body cries in pain as you’re leaning over a split open belly cavity to hold a retractor during surgery, you reprimand it for being so weak. The surgeon’s credo affirms this attitude- Eat when you can, sleep when you can, have sex when you can, and don’t fuck with the pancreas. But nowhere in there does it say, “Be in your body.” No. When you’re a doctor, bodies are a nuisance. Ah…the irony. I certainly became a master at denying mine.

Learning To Inhabit My Body

So here I am, after nearly two decades of living in my mind, learning to reinhabit my body. I’m starting slow. Today, I rested in a warm mineral bath, noticing the tiny bubbles that collected on my skin and made me feel like I was swimming in champagne. I felt the stretch in my muscles as I eased into various asanas during my yoga practice. I felt my stomach gurgle after I ate a meal. I noticed the tension in my shoulders from spending the last few months leaned over a computer, writing a book.

Then I tried to inhabit my body in more advanced ways. I tuned into the energy within me and felt the tingles in my fingers as I practiced the Reiki exercises Mojo Mentor Alice Langholt taught me. I tried channeling my chi, starting from my perineum, moving my life force all the way up the back of my spine and all the way down the front of my body. I slowed down- and I felt.

Feeling It All

This can be tough. When you inhabit your body, you’re more likely to feel everything- the full spectrum of pain. Muscles may ache. Emotional stuff may bubble forth. When you start to live in your body, you feel it all more intensely. But you get to feel more joy too, more zest, more passion, more LIFE. I’m just starting to get that.

Tricia is helping me with exercises to help ground me. She’s putting down grounding cords when she notices me flying around the astral planes. She gifted me with this beautiful retreat to Harbin. And she said that when I was dancing last night, I was in my body and it was a beautiful thing to behold. If only I can figure out how to stay here!

What about you Pinkies? Are you good at staying in your body or do you escape the confines of your earthly life by living in your head? Do you have any great tips to share with those of us who are just learning to do this? Fill us in and share your experiences.

Learning to live in my skin (and thanking Tricia for all her guidance),

Lissa

Tags: alice langholt, chi, doctor, energy, grounded, Harbin Hot Springs, life force, living in the body, medical school, meditation, mind over matter, pain, reiki, sex, Tricia Barrett, yoga
Posted in Alternative Health, Lissa's personal yada yada yada, Owning Your Body, Owning Your Emotions | 6 Comments »

The Difference Between Curing and Healing

Tuesday, November 17th, 2009

The Origins of Pain

I saw a patient today who inspired me- let’s call her Sally. She suffers from a host of medical conditions that threaten to rob you of your mojo- fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, and chronic pelvic pain. When this young woman walked into my office, she looked like crap. Before looking at her chart, I thought she had cancer. Gaunt and pale, her skin hung on her skeleton like she was in the last grip of life. During the first half hour, she didn’t smile once. I felt the anxious tug we doctors feel when we see people like this, the one that says “I’m not going to be able to help this person,” which triggers insecurities and, often, judgments, in our own minds. It becomes about us, rather than being about them. We have a tendency to turn off because we don’t want to fail. But I vowed not to do this. Sitting in her presence, I was determined to be present for Sally and sit with whatever is true, rather than letting my own stuff get in the way.

What is true for Sally is that she has spent the last decade plagued by pain, fatigue, and a body that is betraying her. She has been to universities, fancy alternative medical clinics, and specialists. Someone told her that her condition is “incurable,” and somewhere, a while back, she decided to believe them. But she never gave up trying to be well.

When she came to see me for a gynecologic complaint, I heard her words, but what I saw in front of me told me that her condition was deeper than what her words betrayed. This was not about a pain in her pelvis, this was about a core wound. I listened while she talked about her pelvis, but I focused more energy on watching her, feeling her, being with her in the moment. What rang out loud and clear was this message: “I am not well.” And yet, I could see this glowing, radiant energy beneath the surface, a vision of a vibrant, vital being, leaping in the air and spinning with glee.

Unbidden, she began to tell me about her favorite place, a remote town near Santa Fe, where she owns a vacation house. She fantasizes about quitting her job, living there full time, and spending time with animals in some way. Currently, she owns her own business, selling software to help people maintain their gardens. She works until 2am many nights, finishing projects and meeting deadlines. A team of people bow to her leadership. Years ago, she gave birth to her company from a place of passion, but lately, she dreads everything about it. It has become her ball and chain, and she suspects it is related to her illness.

The Power to Heal

Last year, fed up with being sick, she considered quitting her job. She went as far as selling her primary residence, with the intention that she would live full time near Santa Fe. With money in the bank to help support her, she settled into a new life. And miraculously, her symptoms disappeared. For two whole months, she felt like a vibrant twenty year old, brimming with energy and vitality. She hiked every day, ate wholesome food, wrote in her journal, and meditated. “I did everything right,” she said. And her body rewarded her with new life.

Then her mother had a heart attack, and she left Santa Fe to return to California, where she is now caretaking her family. Because she is back in the area, she has resurrected her business. Within days of returning to her old life, her symptoms reappeared. She has been coming to our integrative medicine center almost weekly ever since. Her thick chart belies a series of supplements, laboratory tests, and referral letters that conclude, “There is nothing we can do.”

Yet, to me, seeing Sally for the first time, the answer is obvious. Her body has already told her what it needs to be healed. She needs to release the expectation she has placed on herself to care for her family. She needs to let go of her business. And she needs to move back to that small village near Santa Fe, where her body knows how to heal itself. Only I can’t say this to her. It is not my place to give advice. Advice implies that someone is broken- and nobody is broken.

Instead, I ask her, “What does your body need in order to get better?”

She says, “I need to find care for my mother, let go of my business, and move back to Santa Fe.”

Bingo.

When she says this, I see, for the first time of our visit, a faint smile. I ask her what she will do when she is there. She says, “Hike, ski, paint, play with my dog. Maybe start a new business, something related to animals.” Her smile widens. She begins to talk about the steps she would need to take in order to put this plan in place. Some steps she has already begun, as she has known intuitively what she needs to do. Within moments, she is grinning. I ask her how her pain feels in this present moment- right here, right now, and she says, “It’s gone.”

Then something shifts. A dark cloud wafts across her. She curls her shoulders inward. Her smile disappears. Her brow furrows. Sally says, “I can’t do this. And what’s the point? My doctor said there was no cure for my condition.”

Healed Versus Cured

I can’t help telling her the story of my father. Dad was diagnosed with a gigantic goomba of a brain tumor when I was 7 months pregnant. A body scan revealed that there was cancer everywhere. A biopsy confirmed metastatic melanoma, which comes with a near certain death sentence. My father, a physician who did his senior thesis on melanoma, knew the facts about his prognosis. So when he called me one morning at 4am to say that he had a vision and that God had come to him to tell him he had been healed, I groaned. “Oh no,” I thought. “The brain tumor is growing. He’s delusional. And he’s in denial.” I nodded and told Dad I was thrilled that he was healed, but I dreaded the repeat body scan that would tell him the truth. When the body scan showed that the tumors were growing, Dad got quiet. He didn’t speak of his vision again. My heart ached.

A month later, Dad failed to experience any of the expected symptoms of a gigantic brain tumor. He had no headaches, no seizures, no vomiting, no dementia. He was plain old Dad, only with a bald head from the whole brain radiation they gave him. So when Siena was born and Dad said, “Can I go now?” I wasn’t prepared. What did he mean, “go?” What exactly did he plan to do? Dad said he was going to quit eating and die a peaceful death. He wanted our permission. Reluctantly, we gave it.

Dad kissed us goodbye, and when I asked whether he was scared, Dad said, “I’m not scared. I’m joyful.” He kissed away our tears, closed his eyes, and died peacefully 48 hours later.

Only in retrospect did I learn a very important lesson- one that has fundamentally changed the way I practice medicine. I realized that, in spite of my skepticism, Dad had been healed- that there is difference between healing and curing. I always thought they were the same. Now, I realize that you can healed without being cured, and you can be cured without being healed. I spent 12 years of medical education learning how to cure people, but no one once spoke to me about healing. In fact, we don’t even use the term “Healing” in reference to patients. We might talk about a healing wound, but a healing patient? Nah. Too woo-woo.

The Whole Picture

So when that doctor told Sally that she would never be cured, he failed to look at the whole picture. Yes, there may not be a drug she can take to rid herself of symptoms permanently. But I absolutely believe that she can be healed. Her body has already proven it to her. The power to heal lies within us all, if only we tap into it.

What about you Pinkies? What needs to be healed in your body, your soul, your heart, your life? What would it take to feel better? What steps might you take to put a healing plan into place? How can we support you?

Committed to helping you (and me) heal,

Lissa

Tags: brain tumor, cancer, cfs, chronic fatigue synddrome, cured, curing, dad, doctor, fibromyalgia, healed, healing, health, holistic medicine, joyful, medical conditions, medicine, melanoma, ob/gyn, pain, power, santa fe, scared, symptoms, wholeness
Posted in Alternative Health, Finding Mojo, Healthy Thursday, Lissa's personal yada yada yada, Owning Balance, Owning Health, Owning Joy, Owning Your Body, Owning Your Intuition, Personal Empowerment | 19 Comments »

Owning Today: What Would You Do Differently If You Didn’t Have Long to Live?

Thursday, November 5th, 2009

I just found out that a doctor/healer I admire, Dr. Lee Lipsenthal, who coached me through a brief but difficult moment in my life, has metastatic cancer with a 10% chance of surviving. My heart broke when I heard this news. And yet- no surprise to me- Lee wrote about this experience on the Huffington Post in a characteristically uplifting fashion. He found himself, rather than depressed, free. With only a small chance to live, he no longer feels tied to obligations he didn’t really feel like doing in the first place. After a life of watching his weight, he can indulge in Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. And after raising his children to be people he deeply admires, he realizes that he must let them go, trusting that they will thrive, even if they have to do it without him.

Blessings, Prayers & Healing Juju to You, Lee

After I wiped away the tears, I thought about how we respond to bad news. The characteristic Kubler-Ross stages, as Lee reminds us, are not linear, but chaotic and circular. We jump from denial to acceptance to anger to bargaining and back to denial again. Ultimately- hopefully- we accept what is and release the rest, but even then, the old stages may pop up from time to time.

Owning Goodness

In my personal life, there has been so much good news lately. My dreams of Owning Pink are becoming real. Two of my books will be published in 2010. My private practice is growing. My family is thriving. My long-awaited art show is about to open in January. Life is good. It’s easy to fall into fear, wondering when the other shoe is going to drop. But I don’t see a reason to go there. Yes, bad news will come. But as Tama Kieves said in yesterday’s post, if goodness is a bubble about to burst, so is sadness. Why wait in dread for what might go wrong when life is peaceful, joyful, and full.

When bad news does strike, I can only hope I will face it with the inspiring courage of Dr. Lee Lipsenthal. I hope I will revel in life’s joys and face the bad news with grace. I hope will be able to realize that the rough times are fertile periods of transformation, not only for me, but for those who face the rough times with me- my family, my friends, even you Pinkies. I know that, should I be diagnosed with cancer or lose a family member or go bankrupt, you will walk beside me, just as we all walk beside each other in our Pink Posse community when rough times hit any one of us.

Hearing about Lee got me thinking about what hit me when I lost my beloved Dad almost four years ago. If I knew I was probably going to die, what would I do differently in life? Four years ago, when I asked myself this question, I was shocked at my answer. If I knew I was going to die, would I be doing what I was doing then? The answer was a resounding HELL NO! If I knew I had only one year to live, I would change almost everything about my life. But why must we wait for catastrophic news? Why do we spend so much time and energy living lives that don’t suit us? Life is simply too short.

If I Knew I Was Dying, I Would Keep On Keeping On

Which is why I quit my job, moved, launched Owning Pink, and began this path of exploration that has led- four years later- to the life I am living now. Now, I can honestly say that if I knew I was going to die in a year, I would do exactly what I’m doing now (only I might do it in Italy, just for the hell of it. But then again, on second thought- no. My tribe is here).

Did you see the movie Last Holiday? Queen Latifah is working a dead-end job and pining over a guy who doesn’t even know she’s in love with him, when she finds out she has a fatal disease. She decides to spend her life’s savings on a trip to the Czech Republic, where she stays in a suite, goes base jumping, and confesses her love to the guy who chases her halfway across the earth. In the process, she finds the joie de vivre she lost long ago. In the end, she discovers that her doctor made a mistake- that she was not going to die- and she had just spent her life’s savings. So did she do the right thing, or not?

Do You Consider Taking Risks Reckless?

You might argue that Queen Latifah was reckless. After all, what is she going to retire on, now that she blew it on a grand European adventure? Of course, in the movie, it all ends happily, and you know she’s going to be okay. But in real life, we ask ourselves these questions. We fear. We limit. We shrink. We skip the grand adventures in favor of safety. Then we wonder why we live lives of quiet desperation.

When I found out Dad was going to die, I decided to go for the adventure and take a Pleap (Pink leap of faith). I spent my life’s savings to buy my freedom, and I don’t regret a penny of what I no longer have in the bank. Instead, I have faith in the process. I have confidence that I will land butter-side-up. I believe that the Universe will meet my needs. And every day, I feel blessed to know that I would change nothing if I knew it would all end soon.

Wow. Things have changed. When I think back to four years ago, I have to smile. What a long, strange trip it’s been.

What about you Pinkies? If you knew you had a fatal diagnosis, what would you change about your life? It’s a very clarifying question. Maybe some of you have been there before and survived. Maybe you’ve lost something or someone dear to you and it had the same profound affect. Must we wait for tragedy to strike? Can’t we start now?

Living like I might die tomorrow,

Lissa