A Gutsy Guide to Getting Your Mojo Back

Hey Pinkies. Joy here. Last week, I had my first Pink Intuitive Reading with the Pink Goddess of Intuition, Caroline Diana Bobart.

I am still in the throes of all of the energy that was moved by this reading (I’ll explain more about that in a bit). I’d had readings of this nature before, but I’d forgotten how healing it can be when another acknowledges what is going on in your space, causing you to become aware of it and begin the process of movement.

Caroline is talented on so many levels, but what came through most strongly for me was her ability to not only see with precise clarity what was happening in my space, but to put it into words. She explained that nothing she was saying made sense to her since it was my experience; however, the way she described what she was seeing formed strong, clear pictures in my mind, and evoked feelings of truth in my gut. It made it very easy to embrace the whole experience with openness, trust and eagerness.

The Wheres and Hows
First, the setup: Caroline lives in Wales (the one in the UK), so were connected over Skype. Her eyes were closed as she assumed a light trance that enabled her to view me as a spirit, which emerged in her sight after I said my name three times. I was on mute for most of the time to minimize background noise so that she could focus. Every few minutes she would check in with me to ask if what she was saying made sense, and ask if I had questions. While what she was saying was merely her interpretation of what I was showing her, and didn’t necessarily make sense to her, it was important to know whether what she was saying was resonating with me. (It was.)

The Overarching Theme
Caroline immediately identified something that is very front and center for me – the fact that I am going through a big shift in character. You see, I have always been very liked. That’s because I’ve always been likeable. That’s because I’ve always been agreeable and eager to please, very often sacrificing myself in the process (unconsciously, of course). The first thing I “showed” Caroline as a spirit was this energy – and the fact that it was changing. Caroline explained that when we as spirits show things during intuitive readings it often means it’s because we’re ready to move that energy and, as such, transform what’s happening in our lives. Caroline saw that I am walking the line between being validated by everyone else and being true to my own desires. It’s no wonder at all that it appeared first … it’s something that’s up for me everywhere in my life. Inherent in this is the need to establish boundaries so as to live safely within my world of knowing, and be less likely to play to the wishes of other people and energies, either real or perceived.

This theme continued to come up throughout the reading … she later saw an energy between my sixth chakra (perception) and my seventh chakra (having/owning) that is often infiltrated by the energies of others … so that even though there is much I know to be true, the information is interfered with which results in self-doubt.

Stop Doubting
Oh yeah, self doubt. Another vastly enormous theme in my life. In fact, I have a slogan taped to my wall that says, “Kill the motherfucking self doubt” – so tired am I of letting my insecurities get in the way of my fullness.  Caroline confirmed that there are blockages to me “stepping into my own power.” In fact, I had heard it put that way several times, and it always resonates as profoundly true. She spoke of a kind of veil of black energy draped over the top edge of my aura which is not allowing me to be seen for who I genuinely am. The veil also dims my own communication with my highest self. The veil, she said, has to do with family energy – about keeping myself unseen, under wraps, lest the exposure of my whole self and all that I am disrupt the family dynamic. I therefore only show the good, acceptable bits to keep everyone calm and not rock the boat. Of course, none of this was or is conscious – which is why a reading like this is so HELPFUL in dislodging some of the energy that might be holding one back.

Communication About My Communication
Something else that has been hugely present for me has been the awkward stumbling into speaking my truth … or speaking at all … particularly within my relationship. Before we got started, Caroline had invited me to ask any questions I wanted information on from the reading. Though this communication issue is something that’s very much up, I wasn’t sure where or what the question was, so I let it go and trusted that if it needed to come up, it would. Sure enough, not even halfway into the reading, Caroline saw a dark fuscia-colored energy oozing out the back of my aura begging to be looked at before she moved on. It was a communication energy that had to do with – what else – my relationship. (At this point I was sitting there, shaking my head in awe and giggling silently. Of course!) The energy spoke of a desire to somehow express the profound changes I was going through – a real need to say what that change is. However, such a thing was impossible because the change is still in the process of happening. Therefore, my truth in this moment would look more like, “A change is happening. It’s big, and I don’t know how I’m going to be at the end of it. For now, I just need you to know this and stick with me through it.” I breathed a HUGE sigh of relief at this awareness. It felt so much less confusing and cumbersome … it’s simply and precisely what is. I don’t have to force it, define it further, or DO anything about it. Phew. Another deep breath; another validation of things happening exactly as they should be.

My Past Life
Caroline then moved on to look at my “spiritual information,” or the connection with my spiritual self. She noted that I was very well connected to my truth/purpose by threads of gold energy. However, there is an issue of me feeling as though I don’t deserve to have the information. I wasn’t sure why, but this felt really right on. Caroline perceived that it had to do with a past life, so she took a look. She saw me about 200 years ago, as a woman in Portugal. The woman had gray hair, was hunched and was carrying a stick. She was a bit crazed. Caroline explained that the woman had always been very psychic, but in that time and place there was no way for her to communicate the information, or be taken seriously. There was no way for her to reconcile her perceptions with the reality around her, and she was unable to communicate who she was and what she had to offer without being judged or ridiculed. When Caroline paused to ask me if any of this was making sense, I was laughing again. I’ve always understood that many who are deemed “crazy” or “mentally unstable” (Caroline was very gently trying to convey, without worrying me, that this was what this woman was) actually have access to a reality that most of us don’t. It’s not always the case that they are sick, it’s just that most of us can’t understand what they understand, and it scares us, so we label them, we medicate them, we institutionalize them. Anyway, not only was I not put off by this description of my past life, but I was actually loving it … whacky as it sounds, I’ve always felt as though I’m not crazy enough, and that my true self has a bit more of an edge – an understanding of a truth that detaches me slightly from my conformity to social norms. I don’t expect anyone to understand this, but was mightily relieved and amused to receive this information, and realize that it’s quite okay to shed this unconscious fear of being laughed at and remaining unheard – a fear to which I’ve been clinging for all these lifetimes.

Yes, You’re In Transition
The question I did pose to Caroline before the reading began was that she look at the direction of my coaching practice. I am nearing the end of my training and, though it is a long-held dream of mine to work as a coach, I’m actually not sure exactly what it will look like. I received validation and comfort all over the place on this front as well. She saw the space as a dark emerald green, which at the moment is opaque. In this case, the opaqueness represents how much of my  seeing/knowing ability (which has yet to be owned by me) I’m going to use within the coaching practice. The reason the space isn’t clear is because I’m not yet clear on that decision, or even on the ability itself. This was actually wonderful to hear. Readings are NOT about predictions of one’s future – no matter how talented the psychic, we are the only ones with that information. But it felt good to hear that the transition of which I am so aware is actually happening on an energetic level.  Kind of like getting a medical diagnosis for vertigo. Not the greatest news, but at least you know you weren’t just imagining those dizzy spells.

Caroline also gave me some wonderful information on grounding the energetic space of my coaching practice outside of my own aura. Right now I’m keeping it very close to me – actually inside my own space – which isn’t allowing it to be its own creation. Part of the reason I’m doing this (with the coaching and with other things) is that I want to protect it from others who want to influence it, and who might be afraid of what will happen to their relationship with me as I move into this new space. However, the more grounded it is, she told me, not only will it be stronger and less susceptible to intrusion, it will also be more “visible” to the world.

Making an Impact
Two energies lit up for Caroline that represented the trouble I have with “the extent to which I can impact people.” This also hit a truth button for me. I’m hesitant to leave my imprint on people – to really “go in,” as a teacher of mine once put it. Responsible for this are two energies … one is a round, cream-colored energy in my seventh chakra, where some beings appeared to be hanging out. They looked to Caroline like paper cutouts – white and very angular – and she suspected that they were not human, but have attached themselves there to learn lessons of certainty and self-doubt in humans. This too was contributing to my difficulty in owning my perceived information, and all I needed to do was ask them to leave – I don’t need to agree to them being there.

There was also a purple triangle at the top of my second chakra, which had to do with my ability to own my body as a woman. As Caroline put it, it was muting my “inner tigress,” resulting in an inability to express my “feminine wiles.” Yup, bingo. Absolutely. Understood. As with the other unwanted energies, Caroline assured me that it was not my responsibility to keep and carry this inheritance. And so I intend not to anymore.

Say What You Need To Say
She also saw a dark green energy in my fifth chakra constricting my vocal chords and voice box. This made a ton of sense as a big frustration of mine lately has been my literal inability to SAY what is on my mind (this is partly why I’m such a good writer – the things that won’t come out of my mouth often flow through my hands). I’m very tired of not being able to speak, and at the same time am very aware of what seems a physical inability to do so. I was grateful then to remember that the energies that light up to be seen are also ones that we as spirits are getting ready to move. This voice box constriction energy is on the way out.

Caroline wrapped up the reading with a “next step” for me. It appeared as a bright fuscia pink, and had to do with becoming aware of my entitlement to speak according to what I see and perceive. Doing this, she reminded me, isn’t to the benefit or detriment of anyone else but myself (I think part of my hesitation to speak my truth involved hurting or alienating others). Energetically, people and beings do attempt to make me doubt what I feel by interfering with that space between my sixth and seventh chakras. By being bringing this forth into my consciousness and becoming more in touch with my communication energies, that all will start to move.

And Now …
Caroline advised me to take some time to process all of the information I’d received before diving back into my day. I did sit for a few minutes to ponder, gently re-entering the tasks at hand, but the Universe had other plans for me. Turned out the processing took ALL day. I felt like I was floating through each activity … unable to really land on any one endeavor or “achieve” anything. It felt like an aimless wandering, but one that was actually quite peaceful.  I knew from past experiences that readings not only give you information, they also facilitate a MASSIVE energy dump that happens when so much is looked at. I gratefully experienced the dump, slept peacefully and, as Caroline also warned me may happen, have experienced a week of highs and lows – introspection, brooding, awkward moments, and crossed wires. Again, none of this is bad – it’s like taking the engine of a car apart to rebuild it. There’s going to be a lot of loud clattering and clanging, parts that need to be sawed off or hammered in, frustration and puzzlement as the pieces are fit back together, ultimately resulting in an engine that purrs.

As I write this, I can feel things smoothing out. The upheaval is just a growth spurt – albeit a rather enormous spurt brought about by the wisdom, patience, and clear communication from Caroline, to whom I will be forever grateful as I navigate this next giant step forward in my life.

In Conclusion …
This is one of the best things I’ve done for myself in a long time, Pinksters. It was like a massage – helping me work out the places where energy had gotten stuck; allowing me to release what I had to. Caroline is the best – and I’m not just saying that because she’s a Mojo Mentor. The woman is truly, truly gifted and goddess-like. You can find out more about Pink Intuitive Readings with Caroline here. You can also read about Lissa’s experience here.

Feeling lightened, enlightened, and ever so grateful,

Joy