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Mojo Monday: Write a Valentine Eulogy For Someone You Love

Monday, February 8th, 2010

Dear Pinkies, please welcome back my wise Pink Mommy Trish Rankin, here with a Valentine’s week Mojo Monday exercise that is a bit nontraditional, and positively rife with love. Hit it, Mommy!

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Have you ever fantasized about sitting in at your own funeral? Wouldn’t you love to know what people will say about you when you transform into pure light and leave this earth? I know I do. Usually, people share heartfelt expressions of love and honor your life. Why do we wait until people are gone to do this? Why not honor those we love RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW?

Valentines Day is this week. It’s a time of hearts and “I love you” and sharing pink cards with those we care about. But why not take it deeper? Why not write down what you would say if you lost the person (or people) you love most?

I know it’s hard to go there. Thinking about writing a eulogy for someone you love brings up the inevitable images of loss, coffins, gravesites, black clothes- death. Who wants to do that, especially around Valentine’s Day? After all, it’s so morbid.

Okay, so let’s reframe it.

Let’s call it a “Pinkogy.” Let’s make it about love and gratitude, not loss.

Just think about what a blessing your words could be for that one special person- a parent, a lover, a sibling, a child, a friend, a mentor. I once heard a story of a teacher named Mrs. Grey, who was personally invited to the funeral of a former student, who had committed suicide. She was baffled by the invitation since she had not seen Joey since his graduation about ten years before. During the eulogy the minister pulled out a crumpled piece of paper and began to introduce it to the gathering. In high school, Mrs. Grey, his Science teacher had asked everyone to take out a sheet of paper, head it with their name and pass it around. Each person was to write something nice about that classmate on it. Nothing negative was permitted. When it returned to the owner, the students read them aloud to the class.

Joey was so proud of his that he had carried it around in his wallet until his death. He once told the minister that he had thought about suicide in high school until he read that piece of paper and all the wonderful things his classmates shared about him. Over the next years when depression overtook his rational thinking, he’d pull out that piece of paper to remind himself that he was a worthy individual. Because of that simple exercise his family felt like they got ten extra years with him. At the reception afterwards several other classmates approached the minister and Mrs. Grey and admitted that they still had theirs safely tucked away too.

Our words have the power to destroy or to uplift those around us. Which do you chose to do? Yeah- I thought so. Let’s lift up those we love.

Write a Pinkogy

Take a moment to close your eyes and reflect on what makes the person you love unique. What special attributes does this person have that makes him or her stand out? What silly quirks make you giggle? What inside jokes warm your heart? What will you never forget? What distinguishes this person in your heart. What are your most authentic memories?
Now grab a pen and paper and start writing. It doesn’t have to be a novel. Several paragraphs will suffice. Write from the heart. Don’t be embarrassed. Don’t hold back. Let your love flow from the Source. Express everything you would express if you lost this person tomorrow. Don’t wait until it’s too late for someone to know how much you cherish them. Do it now.
Write it on special paper. Or roll it into a scroll and tie it with a decorative ribbon. Perhaps frame it so your exceptional person can put it on their wall and read it often. It will cost you almost nothing-but it will mean everything. I guarantee it.
Now give it to the person you love for Valentine’s Day. You don’t need to tell them it’s a eulogy (why freak them out?) Just tell them you wanted to take a few moments to honor their life. Say “I love you.” Say everything you would wish you had said if you found out tomorrow you had just lost this person. Live in the moment. Feel gratitude that you’re still blessed to have this person in your life.

If you want to share with us Pinkies, please post your Pinkogy here. Let’s all live in love…

Appreciating those I cherish,

Trish

Tags: blessing, eulogy, Love, love letter, morbid, Trish Rankin, valentine, valentine's day
Posted in Guest Pinkies, Mojo Mondays, Owning Creativity, Owning Love | 1 Comment »

Mojo Monday: Release Hate & Own Love- An Exercise in Forgiveness

Monday, August 3rd, 2009

Saturday night, when I kissed all you Pinkies goodnight on Owning Pink for the night, everything seemed as it should. But Sunday morning, when I logged onto my website, a black, evil-looking web page emerged with the words Make Love, Not War and the grim words of my hacker, who posted his name and seemed proud to disrupt my lovely, empowering site to replace it with goth music and dark imagery.

Owning Pink Got Hacked

Upon realizing that Owning Pink had been hacked, an poisonous feeling seeped through my veins like a serpant, spreading feelings of violation and powerlessness. Once I recovered from the feeling of victimization, I noticed vile, hateful thoughts racing through my mind. Thoughts like, “My hacker must be some hissing little pimply-faced geek with no life. Why would someone want to shut down Owning Pink to broadcast their message, when we’re already making love, not war? What kind of loser targets kind-hearted individuals trying to do good in the world to promote their own selfish agenda?” I could feel the daggers working their way through my skin, but the more I succumbed to my own self-righteous, vindictive thoughts, the worse I felt. So what did I do? I decided to forgive my hacker and write a love letter instead. Here it is:

A Love Letter To My Hacker

Dear Mr. Hacker,
When I first realized what happened to Owning Pink, I felt hurt and violated. But then I remembered that my reaction came out of my own fear. Because you hacked into something I considered sacred and transformed it into something that didn’t represent Owning Pink’s mission, I felt scared, afraid that you might destroy all I’ve worked to create. This brought up a lot of stuff for me.

The first thing I realized is that Owning Pink is not mine to own- or to lose. Owning Pink is bigger than me, and no one can take it away, because it lives in our hearts, not on the internet. You might hack into our website, but we Pinkies are still united, like a Pink underground network of love and acceptance.

Next, I realized that my thoughts about you reflected fear, not love. Now I’ve turned my thoughts around and started loving you. After all, if doing something like this seems like a good idea to you, chances are you feel unloved. You probably feel as if you have no real power in this world, as if nobody really cares, but you’re wrong. You are loved. And you don’t need to destroy someone’s life’s work in order to own your power and receive that love. It’s within you already. All you need to do is ask God to guide you and claim what is already yours.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t like what you did, so please don’t do it again, but my heart goes out to you nonetheless. You may feel all alone in your computer cubby filled with symbols and numbers and code, but you are not alone. We Pinkies are here for you, and all you must do to be loved is to receive what we offer freely. I am not angry about what you’ve done. To dwell in anger or resentment only diminishes both of us. Instead, my heart expands to encompass you and your authentic self, and I pray that you will do the same.

Blessings to you,
Lissa

Can You Forgive Those Who Hurt You?

What about you Pinkies? Do you carry vile thoughts, hateful feelings, and unloving actions against others in your heart? Don’t you understand that it’s not about being right? As my mother always told me, “The relationship is more important than being right.” Sometimes, evil actions mean you must sever the relationship. That doesn’t mean you can’t forgive nonetheless. Chances are, if you’ve been wronged, you have every reason to feel the way you do. Being wronged hurts like the dickens. But don’t those unloving thoughts hurt even more? Don’t you realize you are never free and will never experience inner peace until you forgive and replace hate and fear with love?

Today’s Mojo Monday Exercise:
1. Start by forgiving yourself. Until you love YOU, it’s very hard to love others. Offer a blessing of forgiveness on your own soul and MEAN IT! Love yourself. Forgive yourself. You are made in God’s image and are deserving of love.
2. Write a love letter to yourself.
3. Make a list of all the people you harbor negative feelings towards.
4. Write a love letter to each one of them. You do not need to send these letters or even make contact with the person you are forgiving. Forgiveness can be done from within.
5. Offer up a prayer on behalf of yourself and the person you forgive. Pray that your your heart may open wide enough to offer love and acceptance. Pray also that the person you forgive experiences inner peace.
6. Light a candle on behalf of yourself and each person you have forgiven, as a gesture of the light that radiates from you when your heart is filled with love. Light these candles every day until you feel a shift. When hate and fear firmly exit your heart, leaving only light and love in its place, your candles will have worked their magic.