Dear Pinkies,
Please welcome back Pink God and Mojo Mentor Fred Krazeise, here with the story of his own transformational healing experience. As it is generally impossible to adequately prepare Pinkdom for his words, we’ll turn it right over to Fred with love, gratitude, and blessings.
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As a massage therapist / body-worker, I know how powerful touch can be. I’ve written about it, and I’ve witnessed first hand how healing touch can trigger emotional or somatic response. I’ve seen how the simple act of human touch can help just as much with spiritual healing as it does physical healing. But, I have never personally experienced the power of complete healing through touch – until last week.
I recently attended a 3-day Lomi Lomi Massage workshop in Asheville NC, conducted by master teacher Carrie Rowell. Carrie has been practicing the art of Lomi Lomi for many years and she is an extraordinarily gifted teacher. For those of you who do not know of this style of massage, Lomi Lomi is a profound form of bodywork. The word “lomi lomi” simply means massage, although it is sometimes referred to as “loving hands” massage. It has been practiced by native Hawaiians for thousands of years, and it is traditionally passed down from family member to family member. I had been trained in lomi lomi before, but it had been many years ago, and it would be during this weekend that I would experience loving hands myself.
Lomi lomi consists of long, continuous, flowing strokes, similar to that of a wave. The strokes work gently yet deeply into the muscles and allow the recipient to submit, to yield, and truly be in the moment. But, those are just the superficial aspects of the work. What really sets Lomi Lomi apart from other forms of body work, is that the practitioner holds a special intention for the recipient. The work is performed with love, and usually begins with a prayer, asking for divine help in the healing. The practitioner holds this loving space in her heart for the recipient, seeking to restore the recipient to balance and harmony.
For 3 days we learned new techniques and practiced on each other. We also devoted a significant amount of time to self-healing: movement, dance, prayer, chant and meditation. And it always came back to giving and receiving lomi lomi, which we did each day for 3 days. Of course it is always wonderful to receive, but I also noticed how energizing it was to give this form of massage. I felt charged by the spiritual energy involved in giving, and both giving and receiving left feeling connected and grounded.
Over the course of the long weekend, I had a chance to speak to Carrie about my own practice, working with trauma and abuse survivors. Although I work diligently at grounding, balancing, and setting boundaries I felt that I had taken on some of the pain and fear that my clients had experienced. I felt that I was coated in a kind of energetic sludge. Carrie suggested a session with her, and further suggested that it be a “tandem,” four-hands session with two people working on me. She would be joined by a friend and former student, named Manisha, and together they would work on me. Needless to say, I agreed!
I arrived a few minutes before 10AM on Monday morning for my massage. Manisha answered the door, and I thanked her for opening her home to me. Carrie came into the room, we exchanged hugs, and after a few minutes of chat, Manisha showed me to a small room with a massage table.
“We’ll give you a few minutes,” Carrie said, shutting the door behind her and leaving me alone in the room. I quickly undressed and lay face down on the table, trying to focus on my breath and bring myself into the present moment.
There was a soft tap at the door and I murmured, “I’m ready,” and Carrie and Manisha entered the room to begin their work. Lomi lomi usually begins with a prayer (a “pule” in Hawaiian), asking for help and for healing. Carrie and Manisha began the Lomi Pule together.
E aloha mai! – Let there be love!
E mana mai! – Let there be power!
E pono mai! – Let there be harmony!
E ola no! – Let there be healing!
Amama ua noa – So be it, it is done.
And then they began, and over the course of nearly 2 hours, they worked on me in perfect unison.
I felt their long, deep, full body strokes that served not to work on my individual parts, but to connect everything in perfect harmony. They began gently on my head, then together on my back, then my legs, then with long connecting strokes from head to toe and back again. Four warm, loving hands, working as one. Four warm loving hands, connected to a spirit source, working to convey this loving energy into me.
The effect was hypnotic. I felt myself sinking deeper into the table, yielding and submitting. They began to strip away at my own personal hurt and pain, and then at the pain that I carried from clients whom I felt I could not help. Images of their trauma or abuse that I often see and sometimes feel when I work with clients flashed before me again. And then those images were slowly washed away by waves of loving human touch.
Carrie and Manisha were connected to something higher, to something more powerful and they were intent on bringing It to me, and me to It. They continued to work on me, always moving, never stopping, a continuous wave of motion. And as they worked, emotion began to rise inside of me. As I felt the pain leave my body, I was suddenly overcome with feelings of unworthiness. I kept hearing the words, “I’m not worthy,” over and over, and finally I began sobbing inconsolably. My body heaved with cries of pain and feelings of unworthiness.
And then something happened.
Once again in unison, Carrie and Manisha literally draped themselves over me and enveloped me a warm and loving embrace. I was cradled within their arms. I felt their weight on top of me as my cries subsided.
I was not just connected to them. Through them, I was being cradled in the hand of God, and I felt an incredible wave of love and joy wash over me. I literally felt God’s love through the hands of these two remarkable women.
Carrie whispered, “Take your time, and when you are ready, roll over onto you back.”
I rested there for a few minutes before moving, and then I slowly rolled over onto my back and slid down the table. As I did so, Carrie covered my eyes with a cloth to shield them from the brightness of the room. And it was at this moment that something else happened and it was remarkable.
The room was awash with golden light and there were 12 angels all around us. (I’ve written about the presence of angels here before), Their appearance before me today made me joyful, almost giddy and I have to admit that for a moment I thought of Sally Field as she accepted her Oscar by saying, “They like me! They really like me!” That thought made me smile, and then I felt waves of their love continuously washing over me. I yielded to it. I submitted to it. I surrendered to it. And that love filled my heart with joy. I knew that I was accepted in God’s eyes. I had felt God’s touch and it was from that moment on that I decided to open my heart to it completely.
Carrie and Manisha continued to work on me, their loving ministrations leaving me feeling cared for and nurtured. The light and love of the angels continued to wash over me and the room. As they say, all good things must end, and Carrie and Manisha finally finished and left the room for me to get dressed.
I lay there for a few minutes before moving, thinking about my experience and how I felt. The first thought that came to my mind was gratitude – not just for having experienced one of the most remarkable events of my life, but gratitude for being able to live this life. The second thought that came to me was validation. This experience left me knowing that I am on the right path. I know that God is a real thing, and I have felt her touch. That’s pretty powerful.
I do not share this experience with you out of self-indulgence. Rather, I hope that readers here can take something from this. There has been a lot of discussion recently here about core wounds and self-acceptance. I learned many things from this experience, but the biggest lesson is that I have learned to open my heart to love. And it is so easy. Opening my heart to love has allowed me to see the beauty in every living thing. If you can see the beauty that is all around you, it becomes easier to see the beauty that lies within yourself.
I went to Asheville to attend a course. I’m required to take continuing education course in order to maintain my national certification as a massage therapist. But I left with much more than 21 continuing education units. I left restored and renewed. I left transformed knowing and feeling with absolute certainty that there is a God, that she is loving, and that I am worthy of that love, as are we all.
Thank you Carrie and Manisha.
I bid you all peace and joy.
Fred
