Dear Pinkies, please welcome back my wise Pink Mommy Trish Rankin, here with a Valentine’s week Mojo Monday exercise that is a bit nontraditional, and positively rife with love. Hit it, Mommy!
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Have you ever fantasized about sitting in at your own funeral? Wouldn’t you love to know what people will say about you when you transform into pure light and leave this earth? I know I do. Usually, people share heartfelt expressions of love and honor your life. Why do we wait until people are gone to do this? Why not honor those we love RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW?
Valentines Day is this week. It’s a time of hearts and “I love you” and sharing pink cards with those we care about. But why not take it deeper? Why not write down what you would say if you lost the person (or people) you love most?
I know it’s hard to go there. Thinking about writing a eulogy for someone you love brings up the inevitable images of loss, coffins, gravesites, black clothes- death. Who wants to do that, especially around Valentine’s Day? After all, it’s so morbid.
Okay, so let’s reframe it.
Let’s call it a “Pinkogy.” Let’s make it about love and gratitude, not loss.
Just think about what a blessing your words could be for that one special person- a parent, a lover, a sibling, a child, a friend, a mentor. I once heard a story of a teacher named Mrs. Grey, who was personally invited to the funeral of a former student, who had committed suicide. She was baffled by the invitation since she had not seen Joey since his graduation about ten years before. During the eulogy the minister pulled out a crumpled piece of paper and began to introduce it to the gathering. In high school, Mrs. Grey, his Science teacher had asked everyone to take out a sheet of paper, head it with their name and pass it around. Each person was to write something nice about that classmate on it. Nothing negative was permitted. When it returned to the owner, the students read them aloud to the class.
Joey was so proud of his that he had carried it around in his wallet until his death. He once told the minister that he had thought about suicide in high school until he read that piece of paper and all the wonderful things his classmates shared about him. Over the next years when depression overtook his rational thinking, he’d pull out that piece of paper to remind himself that he was a worthy individual. Because of that simple exercise his family felt like they got ten extra years with him. At the reception afterwards several other classmates approached the minister and Mrs. Grey and admitted that they still had theirs safely tucked away too.
Our words have the power to destroy or to uplift those around us. Which do you chose to do? Yeah- I thought so. Let’s lift up those we love.
Write a Pinkogy
- Take a moment to close your eyes and reflect on what makes the person you love unique. What special attributes does this person have that makes him or her stand out? What silly quirks make you giggle? What inside jokes warm your heart? What will you never forget? What distinguishes this person in your heart. What are your most authentic memories?
- Now grab a pen and paper and start writing. It doesn’t have to be a novel. Several paragraphs will suffice. Write from the heart. Don’t be embarrassed. Don’t hold back. Let your love flow from the Source. Express everything you would express if you lost this person tomorrow. Don’t wait until it’s too late for someone to know how much you cherish them. Do it now.
- Write it on special paper. Or roll it into a scroll and tie it with a decorative ribbon. Perhaps frame it so your exceptional person can put it on their wall and read it often. It will cost you almost nothing-but it will mean everything. I guarantee it.
- Now give it to the person you love for Valentine’s Day. You don’t need to tell them it’s a eulogy (why freak them out?) Just tell them you wanted to take a few moments to honor their life. Say “I love you.” Say everything you would wish you had said if you found out tomorrow you had just lost this person. Live in the moment. Feel gratitude that you’re still blessed to have this person in your life.
If you want to share with us Pinkies, please post your Pinkogy here. Let’s all live in love…
Appreciating those I cherish,
Trish
