I had my apartment professionally cleaned for the first time today. This is something I thought I would never do. Right after I gave birth, five months ago, people kept telling me earnestly, “Don’t worry about the housework. Really, it can wait.” Clearly, these people had never visited my house if they thought I was concerned about the cleaning. It’s not like I’m growing penicillin in the kitchen (as far as I know), and that skunky smell in the bathroom is from an actual skunk who sprayed outside the window last night (I swear). I’m very neat, actually, and I’m great about doing the laundry. But the dust bunnies and I have a kind of tacit agreement; it’s akin to the “fish and guests start to smell after three days” axiom, except that the dust bunnies get to stay way longer.