"Mother Earth doesn’t need us to survive, but we sure do need her. Better make sure she comes first." That tagline sums up my understanding of eco-sexuality in an organic nutshell, though my experience thus far is that even many die-hard greenies toss their dirt laden hands in the air when you mention making love sustainable. If tree-huggers are bemused, what about the rest of us mainstream recyclers? My friend Wendy Strgar is in the business of creating sustainable relationships (she’s the founder of GoodCleanLove.com – lotions and potions and adult toys that are good for you and the planet; in other words, she purveys sexy and safe fun). From her I realized that sustainability in the bedroom is an inside job.

When I was four years old I was home in bed with one of my frequent ear infections. I took a toy telephone I was playing with and unscrewed the dial and put all the pieces in my mouth as I had seen carpenters do with nails which they then pulled out to use. The problem was that I aspirated the pieces and went into laryngospasm. I can still feel my intercostal muscles and diaphragm contracting forcefully, trying to get some air into my lungs, but nothing worked and I was unable to make any sounds to attract help. I had no sense of the time but suddenly realized I was not struggling anymore. I was now at the head of the bed watching myself dying.