Okay, so I haven’t actually left the house much this year. When you’re practicing medicine, you go to the office every day, which means you wake up every morning, brush your hair, put on a little eyeliner and maybe a little lipstick if you were on call the night before, and you find an outfit that makes you look simultaneously cool and professional ( a tough balance, but one I got pretty good at). I could do it in my sleep, and on those post-call days, I pretty much did. But it’s been over a year since I lived that life.
Who’d have thunk that I’d have to study more, after twelve years of medical education? Don’t get me wrong. I knew I’d have to put in my CME hours (continuing medical education). I’d like to say I read all of my journals, but truth be told, I only read some of them, cherry picked for the articles that tickle my fancy of the day. (We do get LOTS of journals).
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I’m feeling a little unrooted these days. I’ve been exploring these feelings, the ones that tells me I want to go back to work. But I’m plagued with doubts. Is there room in this world for the kind of doctor I want to be?