
In the summer of 2009, shortly after Christine Bronstein had given birth to her third child, she couldn’t explain why the tears wouldn’t stop streaming from her eyes. After all, for the first time in her life, she finally had what she had always craved - a relatively “normal” family. Yet in spite of her two healthy sons and her beautiful newborn girl, sadness washed over her.
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I was in a yoga class a couple weeks ago, and the teacher kept using the word investigate to cue us in the poses.
Investigate the backbend.
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It’s that time of year again. You either love Valentines Day or hate it, depending on whether you have a special someone in your life. This time around I discovered that special someone is myself. I have truly become my own beloved and the feeling this truth gives me is rich and serene. When I first heard that phrase - “become your own beloved” - I thought it sounded really new-agey and cheesy. Perhaps because I had yet to discover the richness in it and really own it. I’m on my way to having a deep knowing of it now.
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‘Twas 14 days before Christmas when all through the house not a creature was stirring, not even Whiskers, our caged mouse. The stockings are still in a crate, and it looks like St. Nick is running late. My children had crashed, done counting sheep. My husband is all snug in our bed, fingers texting against my thigh in his sleep. Our beagle yelps, frustrated with that black squirrel haunting her dreams. Out on the road the late night trucks raise a clatter, an owl hoots as if nothing is the matter.
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As the New Year approaches, I can’t help but think that I am not the embodiment of who I truly feel I am. Every year I make the same resolution -- to lose weight. Some years it works, but over time the weight always comes back. This year the change must go deeper, it must be a spiritual journey towards embracing my entire self-the shadows and the light. This year I will own my health!
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