For many women, the decision to tell people that they’re having trouble getting pregnant is a challenging and brave one. As I learned the hard way, the ensuing conversations are so often fraught with peril – pet theories, unsolicited advice, the disappointment of loved ones – that it often seems less painful to keep the feelings to ourselves or to our partners (who are also emotionally drained and often even more reluctant to share their feelings). But instead of isolation, there can be another option: support. From you. It sounds easy, right? So why does it backfire? And what can you do?