The Big 3-0

James turns 30 on December 13^th. This age seemed so far away when we were freshman in college. Most times I didn’t think that far in advance. Now, in the last few years, all of my friends are celebrating the big 3-0. One friend had a rooftop party on the lower east side of Manhattan. Another had a weekend celebration highlighted by the catch phrase “Dirty Thirty.” One friend went overseas. Another had a Masquerade Ball. Now I’m collecting ideas for what I’ll do for my big 3-0 too.

Many years ago my great grandfather told me of the persecution he experienced in Russia which led him to come to this country. He said the Cossacks would pursue him at night, when he was out teaching, and slash him with their sabers. One night he was on the hill above his village with his rabbi, the Baal Shem Tov. As they looked down they could see the Cossacks riding down and killing their Jewish brethren. They might have felt the same had they seen their loved ones being taken away to become slaves in a foreign land.

Lissa's Note: I sobbed when I read this post because I was once one of those non-listening doctors, and I too have been one of those patients who felt dismissed by her physicians. Dr. Nicola Holmes tells her story below about being the patient, feeling dismissed, and being left to chart her own course. I couldn't help remembering being eight hours post-op from my C-section, after nonstop vomiting and severe dehydration that was leaving me without any urine in my catheter. I finally called my doctor at home - we're friends - so she could rescue me. It was midnight. I knew she was tired. And I know she thought she was helping when she told the nurses I had her permission to write my own orders. So I spent my first post-op/postpartum night (while my father was dying, incidentally), writing the orders for my IV fluids, my nausea and pain meds, and how often my vital signs needed to be checked, all while trying to breast feed for the first time. I felt totally alone, completely abandoned to chart my own course, and I left the hospital the next day, figuring I might as well take care of myself at home. I'm getting choked up just thinking about it, and I know I'm not alone. 

It's up to us to change this. Seeing the doctor should ease suffering, not incite it.