I’m not the type to cut people off. Yes, relationships grow apart. Sacred contracts end. But I don’t ditch you if you piss me off or hurt my feelings. I initiate open communication. I tell you I’m hurt. But I don’t build the Great Wall of China between us or block your phone calls.

I’m not suggesting that every relationship should be mended. Some are probably better left torn apart. But if you - like me - feel saddened by someone who has cut you out of their life, then you’ll get where I’m coming from. This letter is for anyone who disagrees with how I live my life enough to cut me out. (You know who you are.) And it’s for anyone else who doesn’t like how you live your life too. Feel free to pass it on. . . 

I don’t know what I’ve been doing for the past 25 years. I must have had my head up my arse to have missed reading Dr. Bernie Siegel’s, Love, Medicine & Miracles: Lessons Learned About Self-Healing From A Surgeon’s Experience With Exceptional Patients. But I’m reading it now as research for my next book The Prescripton: 5 Spiritual Steps To Healing Yourself From Illness, Trauma, Or Loss. And holy AWESOME SAUCE, Batman!

By page 3, I was madly in love with Dr. Bernie Siegel (who doesn’t wear a white coat and prefers to be called Bernie). By page 27, I was crying my eyes out. By page 61, I decided I must have read this book in a past life because so much of it mirrors what I have already written (so much so that some will surely think I’m knocking off Bernie). And by page 76, when I read, “The simple truth is, happy people generally don’t get sick. Ones attitude towards oneself is the single most important factor in healing or staying well,” I knew I had to meet this remarkable doctor.

So I wrote to him after my friend and mentor Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen, author of Kitchen Table Wisdom and a long time friend of Bernie’s, gave me his email address. 

Turns out he’s even more awesome than I imagined. Not only has he been guiding me in helping a patient who really needs love and support; he’s also a Yale surgeon who believes love heals, hugs his patients, employs the use of art therapy, and thinks we need to revolutionize the way we deliver health care. He’s also a Renaissance man - a poet, an artist, the author of many books, and a genuine, authentic man who really cares, as well as a role model for doctors like me and an inspiration for millions of patients around the world.

I could keep gushing, but instead, let me introduce you to my new friend and Owning Pink’s newest blogger - Dr. Bernie Siegel (cue wild applause!) Take it away, Bernie!

- Lissa 

What Does Every Woman Want

By Bernie Siegel, MD

Many years ago a childhood friend of mine, due to a gambling addiction, got into a difficult situation involving some very significant debts. One day he shared with me that the organized crime group involved had threatened to break every bone in his body or worse if he did not pay up. He said when he told them he had no funds available and asked if he could repay the debt in some other way he was told that if he married the crime lord’s daughter they would let him off.

If I have to describe my ideal Hierarchy of Love it would be as follows: I love myself first, followed by my love and commitment to my husband. After that comes my dedication to my children, whom I would protect with my life if need be. This is not the most politically correct stance, unpopular especially with martyrs and wanna-be sacrificial lambs. That’s harsh language, and likely to set up bells and whistles in some heads.

Here’s the thing though...