“I have no money.” “My house is a mess.” “My kid is struggling in school.”

You know what all those statements are? They’re all thoughts I’ve had. Each is different, but they’re all likely to create similar feelings of failure. What happens when you feel like a failure? If you’re anything like me, you often do something that’s going to create more of the same thoughts or feelings and pretty dismal results, like a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I talk a lot about Byron Katie’s revolutionary process, the Work, for turning around stressful thoughts. I’ve found, though, that it works best for stressful thoughts that stem from judgments we have about others, thoughts like: “My husband doesn’t really love me.” “My boss puts too much pressure on me.” “My kids don’t appreciate me.”