
I just posted "15 Crazy Things About Vaginas," a synopsis of my book What’s Up Down There?, which went viral so quickly that it crashed Owning Pink. One of the sweetest compliments I got on my 20 city book tour was this: “Lissa, Even Ensler started the Vagina Monologues, but you’ve started the Vagina Dialogues.” Suh-WEET! So given the appetite for Vagina Dialogues, I thought I’d share a few more stories. I have to admit that I'm not super proud of my juvenile behavior in this next story. In fact, I feel badly that I let my inner narcissist flourish amidst all the attention from the hunky boys at the expense of my patients. But Owning Pink is all about telling the truth- even if it reflects you in a less than flattering light. So with that said, here you go. Gyno Guzzling- a vagina drinking game.
When I was an OB/GYN resident, I briefly dated this babycakes of a boy, who we’ll call Adonis, since I honestly can’t remember his name. I’m pretty sure he was legal, but only barely, and when he and his buddies found out I was a gynecologist, they were riveted. They made up a drinking game they called Gyno Guzzling in my honor. As the star of this game, I was supposed to tell gynecology stories, and every time I said the words vagina or speculum, they would drink. While the feminist in me found this game a tad offensive, the narcissist in me couldn’t resist the attention, and a room full of hunky college boys egged me on for hours, as I told story after story, until we were all hammered. Gyno Guzzling went something like this.
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A few weeks ago, I finally finished my 20 city book tour to promote What's Up Down There? Questions You'd Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend (Woo-hoo! Trumpets blare! Cymbals crash! Phew). But i realized that I never posted a juicy blog that I wrote in the fall at the beginning of the tour... and gals, is it a good one. Did you hear the story of how CBSNews.com asked me to write this post -- "15 Crazy Things About Vaginas" -- for their website on the launch day of my book? They had posted "15 Crazy Things About Sperm" and it was wildly popular. So they figured they’d play nice in the sandbox and give us girls our time in the limelight.
And then, after it had been up on their website for about an hour, some suit in corporate made them pull it.
“Too saucy.”
You can read the whole crazy-making story here.
Anyway, I never did get around to posting what I wrote for them. So here you go.

It’s a good thing my mother is hanging out on the far side of Heaven because I know she’s mortified that I’m not only stating the word “vagina”, but I’m actually going to talk about it -- like unpleasant personal experiences and all. She’s fuming, “Monica! Remember when you were 5 and we had THE TALK? The first thing I told you was that these matters were private and we don’t discuss them with anyone!!” And I’d have to respond, “That’s precisely the problem Mom, society talks so little about our “privates” that we’ve completely skipped discussing some serious everyday issues -- namely that a woman can physically harm her vagina in numerous ways.”
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