Jillie Bo was diagnosed in 1998 with a Stage 1 breast cancer in her left breast. She had been getting mammograms every three months after a breast biopsy in the right breast showed some atypical cells, so she was lucky to have had her cancer caught very early. Her doctor recommended radiation and chemotherapy, since she was young, only 49, and had what the doctor considered “many years ahead of her.” She opted against the chemotherapy and had only radiation, which caused severe skin burns and required that her treatment be delayed. During her treatment, her doctor referred her to a breast cancer survivor group, who came to visit her. It was good, she says, because “no one else understands how every little ache or pain makes you think it might be coming back.” They gave her a pillow that she was supposed to keep with her during her treatments. “Like a child’s blankee,” it gave her comfort.

She has been cancer free now for 9 years, without any problems, but she’s been a bit self conscious recently about her left breast, which has progressively decreased in size every year. She doesn’t remember anyone telling her of this possible side effect, but she doesn’t regret her decision. At her daughter’s encouragement, she talked to her doctor about the possibility of having a implant put in the smaller breast, but her doctor said that implants don’t work well in radiated breasts. To have reconstruction, she would have to have tissue removed from her back to build a new breast. She only really cares when she wears a bathing suit, since it’s more obvious then, but she says she figures she’ll just tell people if they ask why one breast is smaller. She doesn’t think the reconstruction is worth it. Maybe after she retires.

Within a year of her diagnosis, Jillie and her husband were divorced. The marriage had been disintegrating already, but he “hung in there” during her treatment and left when it was over. She lived alone with her teenage daughter, until her daughter brought home another teenage girl from her church youth group, saying the girl didn’t have a place to live. Jillie found out that the girl had a mother, who had a boyfriend, but she didn’t consider theirs a home. The girl moved in with Jillie and her daughter, went to college, and is now “home more than she’s not these days.” Raising her was a very positive experience, and although her daughter and the girl fought a lot, they are good friends.

Jillie remarried her long time best friend in 2001. Divorced for 20 years, he never thought he’d find a woman who would let him watch sports all day, but Jillie was the one who enjoyed watching with him. He died two years after they were married. Jillie, reflecting, says, “It sounds so bad. Breast cancer, divorce, taking in a new child, marriage, death. All in 5 years. But I don’t think of it that way.”

Jillie Bo was a soccer player in her young days and became a soccer mom after marriage and a child. She calls herself “one of the guys” and loves sports, especially the Chargers. She gardens, works for Meals on Wheels, joined the Red Hat Society, plays sodoku, and loves to read. When I asked her what her favorite book was, she thought for a long time before saying, “Well isn’t everyone’s favorite book the Bible?” When I asked if there was one special part, she said, “Psalms. I have to remind myself all the time, since I’m always busy, always running. But my favorite is ‘Be still and know that I am God.” She said it at least five times in our conversation.

I asked her what she thought was next in her life, and she said she had no idea. She thinks she works too hard, doesn’t get to spend enough time with her daughter, and is always going. Maybe it’s because she doesn’t have to deal with losing the love of her life that way, she says. But she knows that if she is still and finds time to look inside, she will know the answer. “What I do know,” she says, “is that God didn’t take me back in 1998 because he isn’t finished with me yet. And when it’s my time, so be it.”