
We toss our stone, knowing once it has left our grasp, the outcome is beyond us. There is nothing left for us to do but stand by and count the expanding ripples… one, two, three, foooooour. Just how many will it create? How far will they flow? This is the mystery we cast.
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So you want to change your “nasty” habits, but you’re not sure what to do.
Yep, been there. But good news: there’s totally a way to solve it.
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Maybe it’s the Virgo in me, but I actually like New Year’s “Resolutions” in a sense. I also enjoy taking the hundreds of books off of my book shelf each year, caressing them gently with a dust cloth, making out with them, adding them to the book app on my phone so that I don’t buy the exact same book when I go into Barnes & Noble and think “Ooooh, this looks great.” (Yeah, it was. The first time I read it ten years ago.) I adore the process of rearranging them that is all mine and has nothing to do with alphabetization, but more to do with how much I loved them (if I remember reading them at all.) I’m an anal Virgo Warrior Librarian, for sure.
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I went on a trip to the beach recently. The weather was perfect - highs in the high 80s, ocean breeze, not too many other beach-goers, a really big umbrella so I didn't have to be in the sun all day but could still engage in my favorite pasttime: gazing at the waves. In other words, total bliss
But I couldn't wait to get home.
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It is said when the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that when something has suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful.
I look in a mirror, imagining cracks on the surface filled with gold. Maybe then people would be able to see that I’m damaged.
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How do you feel about change? If you’re anything like me, you probably have mixed feelings about it. While it often depends on our perception of the type of change – big or small, good or bad, needed or unnecessary, easy or hard, etc. – most of us seek and fear change simultaneously.
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I’ll never forget it. I was sixteen, getting ready to go to prom with my high school senior boyfriend Pete. My BFF had curled my hair and put it up just so. I was wearing blue eye shadow from the Clinique bonus I had just gotten as a side effect of buying moisturizing cream I never used for fear of acne breakouts. And I was all dolled up in pink taffeta with puffy Cinderella sleeves someone should have warned me would embarrass me years later.
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I’ve taken a lot of risks in the last two years. I’ve found myself boarding planes with no real plans for once I land; not concerning myself with “how” I will afford my mortgage; and living for months on end out of a single suitcase with no real home.
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Very hot shoes and ambitious women surrounded me. Despite my persistently itchy derrière caused by my choice of hosiery that day, I sat in rapt attention. The mistress of ceremonies, Marie Forleo, held forth from stage at Donna Karan’s sacredly luxurious Urban Zen center.
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